Ive known for some years and so have all my close family and friends however its unsetting how many people wen they ask if i have children make comments about it, ranging from, 'oh you better hurry up', to ' oh i dont blame you for choosing not too, wish i did sometimes'. and these are women, dont they realise that some of us just cant, and everytime we hear this stuff it hurts?
2006-08-06 05:11:09 · 28 answers · asked by livachic2005 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
thanks for your answers but i definitley cant, and ive tried tellign the truth and it embarrases people, ive tried being tough adn saying i hate kids who wants them, ive tried everything, but it still hurts, i just want one thing i can say to shut them up without hurting
2006-08-06 05:18:47 · update #1
consider saying:
You know to every being God gave special talents, for rats, mice, guinea pigs, rabbits and you it was bearing young, for me it was something much more...
2006-08-06 07:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are stupid and hurt others without meaning to.
My wife can get pregnant, and she did this year, but had a miscarriage. We've had equally hard times with well-intentioned people making stupid statements like, "oh, you can try again and make a real one this time" when in fact this past time there was a real being in there with a heart that we heard beating.
People who have kids are often jealous of those of us who don't because they can't go to night clubs or take vacations anymore, and wish they could have a lifestyle like we can.
The bottom line is that people always want something that others have, and act unintentionally mean towards others on topics like this.
2006-08-06 05:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by theboz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People can be so unbelievably insensitive, can't they? As difficult as it may be, try to forgive them for their ignorance. I was fairly "old" when I got married. Prior to that, I was forever hearing comments from co-workers and even clients "When are you going to get married? Before you know it, you'll be too old to have kids". Gee, didn't they think that thought had occurred to me, too? If anyone got too obnoxious and persistent about it (not clients, though), I would just change the subject by asking, "So, how's your sex life? Is your husband any good at it? How many times a week do you do it?" When they'd get all offended, I would just respond, "Oh, I thought we were talking about our sex lives." That usually shut them up pretty fast!
2006-08-06 05:19:00 · answer #3 · answered by SuzeY 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey i feel sorry for you. but you know you can try adopting a new born baby. it might take a while. and it might not be the same but hey. it is something you can do. i would adopt if i was in that situation. or if you have a really close friend ask her to be the biological mother but let you have the baby when it is delivered. i would get legal documents for that one. but i think the easier way is to adopt. My uncle is sorta that way he cant have children and it hurts them too. he became a minister. he still has faith. go talk to a doctor and see what your options are. good luck honey.
2006-08-06 05:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to give you false hope or anything, but I've heard many cases where women were told by doctors that they couldn't and then they did. And many who are told my doctors that there's nothing wrong with them and they should be fine but never do. I think that's one of those things that only God can decide. And if you don't then he must have other plans for you. Many women are called to be mothers, while others are not. For whatever reasons we do not know, just trust me, and Him. This trial is for your growth and enlightenment.
On another note, you could adopt!
-Duo
2006-08-06 05:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by Duo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should consult with your doctor or even 2 or three more...there maybe be a simple solution.
Secondly, it is no one Else's business unless you want to share your dilemma .
If they were so fired and in a hurry to have children , then they need to get to work on it and leave you alone.
2006-08-06 05:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by PALADIN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're not being mean, they're just not thinking through what they say before they say it. This is a very comon failing.
Since people aren't going to get any smarter or sensitive any time soon, I'm afraid the one who is going to have to change must be YOU!
Maybe it's time to come to terms with your situation. I think family counceling might help.
2006-08-06 05:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got the same comments, but I opted to have myself sterilized to insure not having children. Comments and opinions of that nature are rude and intrusive. I always felt that if someone were so lacking in the manners department then they deserved my standard response of "That subject is really none of your concern why dont you mind your own f**king business"?
2006-08-06 05:19:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your question, I understand that these are people that you don't know well? I'm sure that they don't mean to hurt you. If you can, smile, and just say, oh, maybe someday. And then change the subject. As they get to know you better, the question won't come up again. Bless you, sweetie.
2006-08-06 05:19:17 · answer #9 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat you are. It does hurt and I have started telling people that I can't just to see their faces and how stupid they feel after their rudeness. I am sorry to hear you cannot have children, it's tough and it sucks and I am very resentful.
2006-08-06 05:19:17 · answer #10 · answered by AuntieKJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just answer them with "I wish i could" . I am sorry you can't have children. If you want children try to adopt, my cousin adopted a boy now she wants to get a girl. She is very happy. And she is a great Mom.
2006-08-06 05:18:19 · answer #11 · answered by jingles_200 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋