My 5 year old throws things in his fits and whines what can I do to stop him from acting this way.??

Question

I have already tried the spankings and taking the toys away..But he gets mad and frustrated and throws a huge fit that usallly involves him throwing whatever is in his hand...It is not always because he doesnt get his way. Sometimes it is just pure frustration...

Answer 1

Take control and don't give him positive attention when it does that. You better take control now, you're already late to the ballgame. Did you really give him a spanking or did you give him a love pat?

He needs to know mommy 'and daddy hopefully' mean business.

Please. Medicine doesn't take the place of discipline. Tough love sucks, and they didn't have Ridilin 40 years ago and people turned out fine.

Answer 2

Whatever method you choose, consistency is key. If you keep switching off discipline modes you son won't know what to expect.

I prefer time out, however, that doesn't work for all kids. If he has things he wouldn't want taken away, then it most likely would work with him.

EVERY time he throws things, you must act on it and he needs to know that he is responsible for his actions and for the cause of his getting timeout or spanked or whatever you chose. EVERY time or else it won't serve to teach him not to throw things.

If you chose timeout, pick a place, such as a corner with a chair in it just for timeouts. The general rule of thumb is 1 minute per year of age. So he'd get 5 minutes as soon as he quiets down in the timeout chair ("naughty chair" if you follow the Nanny).

The next thing to do, is begin to recognize what triggers his fits, what specifically angers and/or frustrates him. Then help him learn to see that so he can then learn to avoid getting to that point. You could teach him that it's ok to ask for help or to stop whatever it is that's frustrating him, before he gets upset.

You might also want to look at others in the home and see if he's learning to push himself to the point of frustration. If you (or another adult in the household) works on something until you are so upset that you yell, he may be modeling that but with his own flair.

In any case, I can't emphasize enough...consistency, consistency, consistency. Easier said than done, especially at the end of the day, but the payoff is well worth the effort for you and your son as well as others in your home.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Acting out in such a way is the child's way of trying to get your attention. And as long as you're "reacting" to it, the child knows he's got ya. Spanking only causes more violent behaviour and outbursts. Especially if the child is too young to communicate his/her frustration.

If the child is at an age where he/she can communicate well enough, then I suggest what some others here have...ignoring it! Ignore him, and then when he's calm, talk with him about good and bad behaviour.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY: You can take toys away and spank till you're both blue, but talking and getting answers are always the best way to resolve any issue at hand.

I was a child who was spanked and punished as a way to "teach me a lesson" and I can't tell you now many times I wished and prayed for someone to just talk to me and resolve it with words. Nobody ever really sat down and communicated with me. Just lots of hitting and punishing. Lots of demands and orders without ever considering that there was possibly something that was bothering me as well as them.

Other than love, communication has been the greatest thing I ever did right with my son. He's a good person because of it and we have such an amazing relationship because from as early on as possible he knew he could talk to me.

Here are some links that may help.
Good luck with your sweetie!
Cindee {:o)

Answer 4

First off you need to be CONSISTANT!!! That is the main thing kids need. Trust me I have a 6 year old myself. When he throws fits do not give into him, the more he will whine at first, and it will befrustrating, but soon enough he will get the idea that when he whines he will not always get his way. Like if you are at the store and your kid wants a toy and you say no, then that is when you take him out of the store and leave!
But also the next thing that you need to make sure you always do is follow-thru! you need to get at their eye-level and explaine what happened and why it was wrong. and don't leave the room mad.
just remember it is harder on the parent than the child, we feel guilty when we shouldn't. Just ignore him when he throws fits! it might be hard at first, but you don't want to give him attencion when he does bad. You aren't neglecting him, i mean if he harms himself don't ignore him, you know what i mean?
remember to praise him all of the time when he does good! And then he will understand that when he does bad and throws fits he won't get his way, but that when he is good he will get praise. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

My daughter had that kind of attitude when she was only 3 .. over time after constant patience....understanding....and sometimes even cold heartedly ignored some of the tantrums .. she's learned that her way is wrong .. how did i do this?

Simply knowing these things ... beating the child is not going to help .. it will fuel the child's need to rage even more .. raising your voice? you just taught the child it's alright .. follow the child into his room and apologize? you just suddenly told him that he has control over you .. pickup the toys he has just thrown around? he just figures that he can do it again and again .. timeout is an option but as long as it's not too harsh like standing on the corner till his legs go numb and beyond .. he'll get used to it and decide that's an easy way out .. so just WHAT do you do? identify the root cause of these temper tantrums! SOMETHING is triggering his anger .. find it and speak to him about it when he's done venting .. and when he finally comes out of the room and tries to avoid eye contact .. but remember don't raise your voice .. yes he is a boy destined to become a man but this man is going to just use you as a prime example of how to teach his kids in the future..

good luck :)

Answer 6

It's time for super nanny ! I don't believe in spanking the child or should I say any child. In my opinion I think re-direction is needed. I know it sounds stupid but try it. With what's happening with all these cases with child abuse and all; you need to be careful. And not spank your child out of frustration ! Things and happen , that you don't want. Sometimes a child can REALLY PUSH THOSE BUTTONS ! Now, I am not saying you mistreat your child but I know that sometimes one gets very frustrated with these situations. Been there believe me. Good luck !

Answer 7

The only wise thing to do is to just ignore him when he starts having his temper tantrums. If he sees you giving in to him then he's gonna use those actions to get attention. Once he realizes he's being ignored eventually he'll have to stop. Sometimes a spanking is the only logical choice. I know ANY parent would feel that urge to wanna spank, but sometimes it doesn't always help. It could worsen the problem instead of making it better. I have a son whose gonna be 2 in October.

Answer 8

my son did the same thing. He would have such violent fits that I had to physically restrain him just so he wouldn't hurt himself or his siblings. Spent more time with him and consistently gave him praise for the things he did well, and always told him I loved him. It's been 11 months since any fits. Also bought a punching bag to let him help vent his anger. He is almost seven now. Just help him find a good outlet to help alleviate the frustration.

Answer 9

Children only do this because they know they will get the results they want. Usually the reason is they want attention, negative or positive it doesn't matter. If you ignore the behavior and do not give in, he will see that he is not going to get what he wants and that it's a waste of time. A warning, if you do start ignoring the outbursts, they will get worse before they get better, but if you are consistent he will get the message.

Answer 10

got a man about the house single parent are ya(not meaning tp put ya downe here okay) i had, a nephew that was the same carbonn copy as your kid right etc, okay, get a, relative prefarble male etc, okay, when he, starts this kind of thing, okay, have the male relative take a hold of the child and wrestle him right too the ground dont let him go not enough too hurt the child, anyways, wrestle the frustration out of the child let him kick scream, carry on and tell te male relative not to let go until the child has his frustration s out, male against male, want too see a changed child try it iam serious!!!

Answer 11

These are temper tantrums.
You have deal with him quite calmly, without yourself getting agitated, because this will make him throw things even more.
Let him burn out his energy during the tantrum. When he stops, then take him by the hand and lead him to a corner for 'time out' , or whatever is your preferred method of inculcating discipline.