How can I be more efficient at being a mom?

Question

I am a S.A.H.M. of 3 (DS13 ,DD6 and DD1) and as much as I try I can't get the things done that I need to do.Ya know caring for the younger ones, the wash, cleaning the house and cooking, spending time with the kids, my hubby and lastly myself.

I have tried scheduals but our life seems to unpredictable. My house makes me feel horrible because it seems to be in disaray constantly. I clean and clean and it looks like I got no where. I'm not saying it's a trash hole just not organized and tidy. The table always has something on it. I want to spend more time with my kids but I find it difficult to fit it in.

Any advise?

PS. I don't have a dish washer, the laundry is in the basement and I have a bum knee (I still go down though), My hubby helps sometimes but he often works on the side to help bring in extra cash ( he helps with the baby mostly), My DS is not co operative and won't do more then his own room and his laundry......help me

FYI I am hardly on the computer during the day. I try to do some"mytime" while I feed the baby. Sometimes I feed the baby while doing dishes too.

Answer 1

Absolutely! I learned long ago that my kids were going to grow up and be gone someday, and guess what? The housework would still be there!

Make sure your house is "clean enough". Then, get down on the floor and play with your children. Read to them, love them, laugh with them.... they'll always remember it.

Now that my kids are college age they're ALWAYS saying to me "Mom, remember when...?" It's usually a relatively small thing, but it made an impact.

Things that will help you...

Assign chores to each of the kids. Even a toddler can pick up his toys.

Set a regular bedtime for the kids. Stick to it! THEN no more housework for you for the day! Take some "me" time and on some nights, make time for you and hubby.

And lastly, stop trying to be superwoman/supermom. Know what your kids will remember? Feeling safe and loved and cared for. They won't care beans about a clean house. And YOU are not defined by your house!

Answer 2

Don't stress so much about the housecleaning. You don't have to live in a museum. You have children, things are going to be a bit disorderly. So what? Spend time with your kids, make sure that they are happy and healthy, give them some chores so that they will learn responsibility. It sounds like your hubby is helping you as much as he can. Find a friend or neighbor to watch the kids one evening a week and go on a date with your hubby. You need the break, and you will come back a better mommy. Don't think that you don't have the time, the laundry will wait a few hours. If you don't have the money, even a walk in the park is good, just some time for you. Good luck, sweetie. It will get easier.

Answer 3

I feel like I could have written this! I am in the same boat with constantly cleaning. I feel like it's all that I ever do. I have 2 kids, and they do have chores. They have to clean their rooms (at least tidy up..make beds and stuff) each day. Each day, I try to throw in a load or 2 of wash, keep the dishes clean and out of the sink, make beds and vacuum one room at least. But...some days things don't go that way, especially in the summer. It drives me nuts and feels like everyone is disrespecting me when they leave things lying around.

I think at some point, we have to let it go. When you look back on your life, are you going to be happy that your house was always spotless - or regret time lost with your children? I think that the laundry can wait ;0)

Answer 4

I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO THESE TAPES,I STAND BY THEM.THEY ARE CALLED MIDWEST CENTER FOR STRESS AND ANXIETY, THEY SAY YOU LEARNED HOW YOU ARE NOW.

MOM SAYS THE HOUSE HAS TO BE CLEANED BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING.WELL, THAT GOT PASSED ON TO YOU.IT'S NOT DONE QUITE THE WAY SHE DID IT.IS IT.NOR WAS MINE.AND I AM A CLEAN FREAK. THE THING IS WHEN MY MOM WAS CLEANING SHE DID IT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM ALL THE TIME.ME I DO IT DAILY HOWEVER JUST ENOUGH IF SOMEONE COMES OVER,IT'S CLEAN ENOUGH.

YOU GIVE YOUR CHILDREN CHORES AND THEY NEVER DO THEM TO YOUR STANDARDS. ETHER SHOW THEM AND NOT EXCEPT LESS, OR DEAL WITH THE FACT THEY ARE NOT US.ETHER WAY YOU WIN!!!!!!!!

THIS LADY SAYS TO DO WHAT YOU CAN AND IF IT DOESN'T ALL GET DONE,DON'T GET UPSET ABOUT IT.YOU DID WHAT YOU COULD.SHE SAYS TO DO THE REALISTIC STUFF AND TO PUT THE WISH FULL STUFF OUT OF YOUR MIND AND ALSO PUT THE SHOULD HAVE OUT OF YOUR MIND.

GRADUALLY,THINGS WILL CHANGE,BUT,YOU GOT TO REALLY WANT THEM TO AND IT DOES TAKE WORK TO CHANGE YOUR HABITS. I HOPE THIS HELPS.IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS YOU CAN WRITE ME.THESE TAPES ARE AWESOME. I'M JUST NOT REAL GOOD AT EXPLAINING IT.SHE IS AWESOME AND MAKES IT ALL MAKE A LOT BETTER SENSE!!! THEY ARE PRICEY,BUT I DON'T PAY MUCH FOR THEM A MONTH,AND YOU CAN JUST TRY THEM FOR 30 OR 60 DAYS FOR FREE.GOOD LUCK.

Answer 5

I would only do the necessary housework everyday (or every other day) like dishes and laundry. But leave the straightening up and other chores to the oldest child and your husband. Give them choices, like "you can either gather up all the trash and take it out, or fold this basket of laundry." That way, they still have a choice, but either way, they are helping out. Whatever hasnt' been accomplished after that, leave for ONE day of the week. (all other chores are done on Wednesday, or Sunday..)

Answer 6

I hired a house keeper to come in once a week to help me catch up. After having the twins, I couldn't get caught up to save my life. I felt I deserved it. It cost me $10.00 an hour and she worked about 4 hours a week. When she first started, I organized papers, mail, pictures, closets, donated excess toys and clothes. She dusted, changed beds, and washed the linens and put them back on the beds, She mopped, vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms, and cleaned the kitchen (I had a dishwasher). I didn't have an outside job, but felt I deserved the help. It's made me happy to see my house more organized and I freed up more time to do things I wanted to do.

Answer 7

Hi...first of all you're being too hard on yourself! Get used to the mess in the house, you're a very busy mom. Your eldest son is already helping you by doing his own laundry...but I see no reason why he couldn't do a little more laundry (considering your knee).
I was a total neat-freak until I had a child & I had to learn to accept the mess...or kill myself trying to do it all.
Just remember how quickly this all goes away...they grow up way too fast. Good luck to you...someday you'll miss that mess!

Answer 8

well you have got your hands full, is there a laundry mat close by, that has cameras, to keep theives at bay, if so drop it off there, doing multiple loads at once, this could be time for you to get away, have the 13 year old watch the six year old and take the baby with you, the 13 year old should have a chore to do, and the six year old could help fold laundry, or dust.

Answer 9

I don't have a magic answer, but I think you could find some great tips and advice from Flylady.net It's an awesome website from a wonderful lady who has a great way of looking at things when it comes to getting organized!

GOOD LUCK! Sorry I couldn't help much!

Answer 10

You need to delegate some of the work to your family (within reason) but you must follow through and make sure they do their chores or take away privileges. Good luck.