How should my husband deal with my kids?

Question

He's more of a doer and my kids and I are more laid back. My sons are 17 and 19. I'm not saying they're perfect, as they are kinda messy around the house, not cleaning up after themselves, leave things unfinished, that sort of thing. I know it's not right. But my husband gets very sarcastic and insulting with them. He has two grown sons and I asked him if he got sarcastic with them and he said yes, sometimes it's the only way to get the message across. I guess my question is, isn't there a difference between getting sarcastic with your own sons and with your step-sons?

Yes, we have sat down and talked about all of this, several times in fact. And they don't see him as their dad, rather as my new husband. I just think it would be better if, when he sees towels on the bathroom floor, to just come downstairs and tell the boys directly to pick them up, not to imply that nobody can read, when we posted signs on the wall for everybody to pick up after themselves.

Answer 1

ok

Answer 2

it doesn't matter if they are natural born or step . . if they live under the person's roof, they are expected to live by the rules governing the household . . if you son's are lazy or messy, and especially at the age they are, the should take responsibility for themselves and grow up . . they are way past the age to be cleaned up after, etc. . . your husband doesn't have to get sarcastic about it; however, I think YOU need to have a talk with your sons and make them realize they should be grown up and take responsibility . . your sons making a difference will bring change in your husband . . . DON'T expect your husband to "bow down" to your children . . I live with this everyday with a step daughter and it is very hard being the step-parent . . better yet, I think the four of you need to sit down at the table and find out what is befind any annimosity . . you might end up fighting but you will get it all in the open for the better . . . good luck

Answer 3

So, you marry this guy, and expect him to not get miffed when a 17& 19 year old can't even pick up after themselves? Honestly, the problem isn't the teens, or your husband. You are the problem. You should have taught these human lumps that people pick up after themselves. Since you didn't, he's trying. Support his efforts to teach your kids how to behave. Otherwise, in a few years, some poor girl will be on yahoo answers trying to get somebody to provide a way for her to get her new husband to clean up after thenselves. He's doing as you SHOULD have done years ago. By the way, does the 19 year old go to college? If not, he SHOULD be out of the house, and living on his own.

Answer 4

the problem lies in the actual relationship your sons have with their stepdad....how long have they had this relationship? do the boys see him as their dad, or just moms new husband? You also don't mention how the boys feel about their step fathers sarcasm. Being that their young adults, I would imagine they could fend for themselves. Could be that your husband is just tired of having a couple of lazy kids hanging around the house eating his food! Did he come into the relationship to be with just you, or to start a whole new family? Lot's of questions you have to ask yourself here....Bottom line, everyone deserves a basic amount of respect-and the owner of the house makes the rules! You can start there and work your way up

Answer 5

You said that your boys are 17 & 19, they ar too old to have signs put up on what to do. They need to be told by YOU their mother that things are going to change right now. PICK UP BEHIND YOUR SELF. Just tell them that you need to have a (round table) talk with them. Let them know that from this day on, they are going to have to start picking up behind there self and doing their share of the work. They are young adults and they need to learn to act like one. They are old enough to not have to be told to pick up after their self. This really should have been taught to them long long time ago. Like around the age of 4.

I can under stand the boys not wanting to call him dad or what ever, but maybe he would not talk to them the way he does if the boys would change their habits and clean up behind their selves. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he has the right to talk to them the way he does. Nobody should talk bad to any child or young adult, but you still have to get your point across.

Answer 6

Well if he is sarcastic with his own sons as well as your sons then you should see that as a plus, or maybe a negative. He either hates his sons and you sons, or he sees no difference in his sons and your sons and thinks of them as equal and maybe he is just like that getting sarcastic.

Answer 7

Yes I think there is. I am a daughter and it made me way more angry to have my dads girlfriend get sarcastic with me than when my mom did. I would get mad at my dad. She shouldn't talk to me like that I am not her kid and she isn't my mom.

Answer 8

i'm in the comparable boat you're in. I even have a 2 year previous with my spouse and a ten & 6 year previous step young ones who purely like to speak lower back and undertaking each and every thing I say. surprisingly the ten year previous. He likes to undertaking each and every thing I say in spite of if he knows he's misguided (that's ninety 9% of the time). i'm consistently at it with that baby. The 6 year previous is a lot greater effectual behaved and that i do get alongside with him lots greater effectual yet he nonetheless has his moments. I manage all of them them like my very own young ones and that they have got under no circumstances somewhat taken care of my as their dad. that area does not concern me too lots as they're going to see in time, i'm the guy who exchange into there and the different dick-head is a looser. properly, right that's how i've got been dealing with it. presently, i've got been spending multiple one million on one million time with each and each baby one after the different to get a private relationship going. whilst each and all of the toddlers are mutually i think of they experience much less of a guy or woman with the aid of fact they do no longer totally belong to the family members as your organic and organic toddlers do (so as that they act out). whilst they act out, in case your any style of stable discern, your going to self-discipline them. because you finally end up self-discipline them lots greater then the different young ones (because they act out greater) they discover blaming you for themselves getting into concern is greater tender then admitting their very own errors. that's why the single million on one million time is so considerable. It creates a bond with each and each guy or woman and you get the possibility to get some stable rapport going with any issues or concerns that baby has with you or the different family members member. mutually as out one million on one million, do issues that includes communication. video clips do no longer contain speaking so stay far flung from issues like that. stable success...I purely began doing this some months in the past and it style of feels to be working (so some distance). i'm hoping it continues to be that way cuz i do no longer understand how lots greater i will take the two.

Answer 9

well, as old as they are they should be able to pick up behind themselves. without beingtold to do so. They are not babies, so why should they be treated like they are.