What`s their problem?

Question

I have two preschoolers ages 5 and 4. Both of them do not talk to their teacher and friends at school. But they speak a lot at home. They will play with others but never utter a single word. When people asking them question, even simple like "What`s your name?" They`ll never answer. They will only smile or hide behind me.

How will I make them talk to people? Why are they become so shy to speak to others?

Answer 1

If they know you really want them to speak with others, they won't. It's something that only they can control. Don't make it an issue with them. If you insist, they will resist.

Don't label them as "shy." It will only put them in a box that will be hard for them to crawl out of. When they hide behind you say "John isn't feeling like talking now. Maybe he'll feel like talking later." Don't ever answer for them when someone asks them a question. Let them learn to do so on their own.

Do some role playing with them. Give them some suggestions of what they can say to others. "Maybe you can tell you teacher about our trip to the zoo. I bet she would love to hear about it." It will take some practice.

To help them build some self-confidence, say things like "You did that by yourself! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on you picture!" These are intrinsic rather than extrinsic ("Good job!", stickers) motivators. These phrases are great confidence builders. With a little time, your children should start to come out of their shells. Good luck!

Answer 2

They are shy and even though it may be a problem for you...it's not for them. Give them time and encourage them to open up without forcing them. Atleast you don't have to worry about your kids walking off with a stranger. They are young. My son was the same way until he got into Kindergarten and had a big burly male teacher that brought out the best in the kids. It'll click with them one day.

Answer 3

I have 2 kids close in age as well mine are 6 and 5 and they do the same thing, I think its just a phase for them, give them time they will come out of there shell when they are ready.

Answer 4

Some children have a condition called selective mutism. It basically means that they refuse to talk to others outside of their immediate family. It can result from intense shyness or a fear of speaking incorrectly in front of others. When they speak at home, is it clear? Can you understand everything they say, or is it mumbled? Talk to a speech/language pathologist in your area (contact your local school district- they should have a person who can evaluate your children).

Answer 5

Some children are overtly shy. Most kids get over this shyness when they step into their teens. If this shyness is not affecting their studies or their play habits, and it they are otherwise well-integreted in society, I think you needn't worry too much or do anything really, at this stage.

Answer 6

Never force your child to speak to people they do not want to. They sound like well balanced children in other ways, give them time they will speak when they want to.

Answer 7

young kids that are as close as yours often have a sort of telepathy thing going for them which does not work with others - this will fade over time and they'll start communicating with words and gestures soon enough

Answer 8

Could it be that you, without realizing it (and I'm not blaming you), raised them with fear of strangers? It's so sad, but that's the way we have to raise our children now.

OR

They're just shy

Answer 9

give them time. they are just shy and we all teach never talk to strangers, these people are still strange to them.

Answer 10

I don't think they have problem just give them time.