i am a 50 yo disabled gay. life is cruel and lonely. NO FRIENDS NO ONE UNDERSTANDS?

Question

DAVBIG says it all. i wanna get out but live in a little village . had 3 strokes its a brain problem as much as physical

Answer 1

i do

Answer 2

Poor you! You sound like you are very down.

I think the first thing you should do is go and have a chat with your GP, you may be feeling depressed and he/she may be able to help. They will also have some names and numbers of advice lines, or local meetings and groups that you can join.

I am not sure where you are in the country, but if you are in London, this group is great.

London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard
Our helpline number is 020 7837 7324

http://www.llgs.org.uk/

I think you may be surprised at the number of people out there that are in the same boat as you.

I personally have moved regularly throughout my life, and have often found myself without friends, it can be lonely, but it is not forever, as soon as you find a friend, things will start to turn around very quickly.....AND YOU WILL FIND A FRIEND!

Life can be cruel, but it is for everyone at some stage. People are dealing with all sorts, all the time. It is easy to feel that you are alone, when there is no shoulder to cry on.

There is something I was told by a GP once. The brain cant detect the difference between a real smile,and a pretend one. It releases the same "happy" chemical for both. If you smile enough over a few days, you can actualy start to feel better. It is worth a try!

I am sure that you are a great person, and that you will come through this if you just make an effort to get some help.

I wish you all the best in the world.
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ps perhaps you could start evening courses to meet people...that is what I always do in a new place. You may find that you can get a free place if you are claiming some sort of disability. You seem great on the PC, so maybe a computing course? Good Luck.

Answer 3

Well the first thing that you need to do to move on is to ACCEPT what you are, what you have got, and how to make the best of it. Once you truly accept things, life becomes a whole lot more bearable, even nice to wake up to. My wife was diagnosed with MS in 1990 and in 1998 she had to go into a nursing home at the age of 47 and has not been with me since. It took me two years of weeping and feeling sorry for myself but then I gritted my teeth, accepted the situation and started to live again. You can do it, just build your life around what you have and what you can and cannot do. Obviously, the internet is a great source of comfort and pleasure to you so start there .... you can contact the world on that. Yes, life is hard, bloody hard at times, and everybody has their troubles. The answer to you is far from easy, but take small steps each day, find new people on line, be frank and open, don't knock yourself on-line ( no one likes a whinger ) and trace new friends in similar situations, seek self help groups ...... make it a mission to talk to as many like minded people that you can. Once established each day should be filled with many on-line friends, your inbox will never be empty .... and meet up with similar people too. Even at 50 you are far from dead ....... you would be amazed how many lovely, compassionate people there are in this world .... but hey, you don't ask ... you don't get ........ and start smiling from today! Good luck. ...

Answer 4

dont be upset man. when u r depressed just read this. u will feel relieved just as i feel wen i feel lonely.

"I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in my time, not yours
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work, think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad, think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend, think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror, think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness,
ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them.

Answer 5

My brother is disabled...So I understand what you're going through, I don't know what's your condition, but he has Cerebral Palsy, he cannot walk, nor speak clearly; I mean he can say words, but his speech is so thick, you can hardly understand his words. I think it is entirely wrong how people treat disabled people, they treat em' as if they don't have a place in the world, everybody has a place in the world, everybody's entitled to loving, to holding, to caring, to sharing, and to daring, so being disabled doesn't effect none of those things. People don't see the true beauty in being disabled -- I know that sounds crazy, but there's a different outlook of things while being disabled, people are caught up with materialistic things, while you guys just want a place in the darn world, and you all deserve it. It makes me angry to see people knock disabled people off, they need to just get a darn life! Dont cha agree? But anyways sweetheart, there's someone out there for you, and you'll find them, just keep on truckin' until you do. Bless you.

Answer 6

What was the question

if the question was; how do I make friends?

there are plenty of ways you can meet new people but you have to get out and about to do it and the fact that you are disabled in this day and age shouldn't stop you

One more thing why do they have to be gay friends why do you even have to mention been gay if you just want them as friends just make friends people and it will come out in the natural course of the friendship and they will either accept you or they wont its that simple

Answer 7

Why don't you go out and make some friends and stop blaming everyone else? 50 is still young. You think you're the only disabled gay guy around? Snap out of it. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Answer 8

stop being a gay and look out for a girl 4 heaven's sake.If u r really tired of ths lonely world deviate u're mind frm other things to god.Make him u're best friend.He'll help u.Try discoverin things about nature and mysteries of life be friendly knd and just.Each day u make some1 smile is the day counted of worthyness.

Answer 9

im sorry you feel this way but i feel as though your life is what you make of it you say your disabled but theres stills things you can do its just what you make of it if you stop complaining and stop looking and all the bad points and look at the good look at people with no arms they stopped feeling sorry for themselves and started using their feet and figured they could do anything they put their mind to and i bet they feel nicer than they did you dont seem like you get out to often try it talk to people you never will know if you just sit and feel sorry for yourself well i really hope you start feeling better about yourself and life

Answer 10

I am so sorry for your situation. I hope things improve for you very soon.

Before my husband died, he was stuck in a wheelchair or a hospital bed in our living room for two years, after living a very active, robust, healthy life. He had people around him who cared for him and loved him, but it was still very hard. If you need an email friend, just to vent or talk to, you may contact me by clicking on my avatar. Please don't give up.

Good luck with everything. May God Bless.

Answer 11

Hey now don't go and kill yourself. If you want something you have to get it yourself. If you want friends go out and make some. No one is going to come up to you and say, "Hey, you seem depressed and suicidal; I think you would make a terrific friend! Will you be my best friend?" Nope don't think so.