Would you attend a Wedding if you don't like the bride to be?

Question

Let's go back 2 to 3 years. My then b/f invited me to a local hockey game. After the game ended, my b/f had introduced me to some of his co-workers + boss. I've never met his boss before, but for some reason she never glanced at my direction while she spoke in conversation. At that time, I thought it was just my hallucinations. When my b/f invited me to a weekend getaway to Tahoe a year later I decided to re-introduce myself to his boss. I said my name as I smiled and stuck my hand out for a return shake except my b/f's boss literally "ignored" me. Now I was thinking, "Maybe it's not me afterall." Then, I found out that my b/f's boss was trying to find way to break my b/f and I apart while she was trying to set up one of her best friends with my b/f. Now, that my b/f became my husband, his boss still won't acknowledge me or when she is talking in a group at a party she won't glance in my direction. She recently got proposed and her Wedding will be next year in 2007.

The thing is, she already told my husband that she'll be inviting him and I to her Wedding except in my opinion I would be very uncomfortable attending her Ceremony. The fact that she doesn't like me, won't glance in my direction and the true fact that she was in the scheme was breaking my love away from me -- thinking of everything that had happened to me makes me feel really uncomfortable. Another fact is, I'm sure her closets girlfriends will be attending and what it is is that I don't want to be in an uncomfortable situation. You know what I mean? Anyways, from the facts I discussed, what would you do if you were to be in my situation. Would you A) go to your husband 's boss Wedding? or B) do you not go? If not in the above, what would you do? or what would be going through your mind?

Also, I hated it when that boss kept calling my husband on his cell phone real early in the morning, if not, late at night just to talk to him - none business related-. Also, bugged the hell out of me when she called him the weekend we got Married two months ago!! Apparently, she was curious every 5 mins rather my husband was happy being with me or to find out if he wasn't going to "regret" later being married to me in the future. I definately know that she wanted to break us up, take my face out of the picture and have one of her closets friends hook up with my man. With everything I've said and mentioned, I've never done or said anything for her to hate me so much. Why me? I'm thinking that even though she's one of my husband boss she's using her .. what's the word .. like using her boss power to toy with my husband. I'm still thinking rather I should be that bigger person and go or rather to skip her Wedding? I'll think about it.

Answer 1

Be the bigger person and go to the wedding. Be very courteous, congratulate the couple (make it sound sincere even if you don't mean it) and try to enjoy yourself despite the boss and her cronies hanging around.

Good luck!

Answer 2

NO, I would not attend.

BUT, my Bil got married & I didn't care for his bride to be (still don't). I went, my Husband stood up in the wedding with her hussy friend.
I've been told that I don't even look in her direction when I talk. Something I didn't even know I did but my body lauguage is obviously very telling when I don't like someone.

However, if I were the bride, I would prefer that if someone I invited was not totally happy for me, I would hope they'd decide not to come.

Answer 3

If you and your husband can talk about it comfortably, without causing an argument, I would try to find a way to get you both out of going. He should understand how you feel and respect that. I wouldn't lie to them about the reason you both can't come, but I would find a reason to not go that they would understand. You've got a while to think about that one. :)

Your husband SHOULD choose to save your feelings over his bosses, even if you can't find a good excuse for you both not to go.

I understand how you feel, so I wish you the best of luck in finding a way out of going!!

:)

Answer 4

When I got my invitation, I would send regrets.. I would get a nice gift (for my husband"s sake- and his future paycheck) Does your husband REALLY want to go?? then you might want to go and skip the reception--- that way you could avoid any contact with her. I think that would be the best answer to your problem.

Answer 5

I wouldn't go. And I would be mad if your husband even wanted to -seeing how rude she is to you, his wife. BUT, if you do have to go....and i know this is bad...ignore her! In the recieving line, refuse to smile/look/hug/talk to her. Just pass right on by her!! It'll make you feel good and she'll know that you are only there as a favor to your hubby. or you know,,, accidentally step on her dress, leave your name off of the card/gift, etc. Paybacks are hell.

Answer 6

Yes, I'd attend. It's not my place to judge. I hated my brother in law too (and I was proven right, he's going to jail for the second time soon. Good thing my sister wised up and left him) but I still loved my sister.

I went for my sister. A wedding is no time for childish protests.

Answer 7

I'd go.
1) To show support for your husband since it is his boss
2) Just in case any of her friends decide to make a move on your man.

Answer 8

NO. I certainly would NOT go. The only reason you are being invited is because she cannot EXCLUDE you since she is choosing to invite HIM. If he wants to go he should go alone and I would certainly not pony up any money for a gift. Let him go and make your excuses....if any need be made.

Answer 9

I suppose because it will look bad if your husband is invited, and you both don't go, that I would go, and suck up my dislike for her. I've been in a similar sitch, but with the groom. I took my own advice. Good luck.

Answer 10

I did, i knew everyone going but wasn't really friends with the bride. I still had fun.