husband cheated on me 3 years ago.i forgave him.irecently diagnosed with genital herpes.should i stay?

Question

i totally forget about the past, but having genital herpes re-open the doubts and trust issues from the past. it has been three years since he cheated on me, and he swears me he never cheated on me again.should i believe him? he has supported me all throughout, helps me to go to school and advises me to finish it. everything is great with him except for that cheating part and of course about this forever virus that will be with us. i desperately need good advises and serious ones please. i am so vulnerable as u can see. thanks

Answer 1

I was told by my Doctor that this virus stays dormant in your system for years before you get symptoms. Time will heal all I went through the same thing and things are great now. of course you will be able to see the signs of cheating especially since it has happened before. Don't leave him because of the virus that wouldn't be wise but if he does cheat again then I would. I hope it works out for you. break outs over the years get less and less and they can prescribe medication. I know it wont help with the husband but it will help with the Herpes

Answer 2

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Answer 3

No you shouldn't stay just because of the virus .
You should stay because you forgave him and want to commit yourself to each other .

I want you too think long and hard if there is any doubts in your mind he did it again when you just sprung up with herpes ...
First time outbreaks can go unnoticed , yet most people have there first outbreak with in the first 3-20 days of getting it .

Did you both happen to have your FIRST outbreak at the same time ? This could indicate unfaithfulness once again, and I would be suspicions too cant blame you for that .

If you don't think that is the case and it was from before when he cheated I don't see how you could ask such a thing you forgave him for his actions and decided to continue to mend your marriage in sickness and health my dear , the thought of that could have crossed your mind back then when you found out he cheated .

Also I would like to point out that the herpes virus can hibernate and you could have given it to him when you first met .. and he had a unnoticed first outbreak and then you both didn't have another until you just now got one outbreak .. THEY SAY Thats another possibility.

*stella*
HERPES DOES NOT MAKE YOU INFERTILE !!!
my mother had herpes years before I was even a twinkle in her eye . She had four children . Oh and none of us were born with herpes . Three of us were born vagainal the last C section.

Answer 4

actually, there is no telling who gave herpes to whom since many of those that have herpes never had any symptoms or none noticable enough to seek medical attention. Herpes is a virus that is related to chicken pox, it can hybernate without showing many symptoms for years before it becomes an issue, just as chicken pox can hybernate for years and pop up as shingles in an adult.

i would advise you to of course see a doctor about medications to suppress the virus and if your husbands past has been forgiven, having recently found out about your herpes should not be an issue.

however, I am a woman, so I know what you must be going through. I have been cheated on in the past and knows what it feels like. It is hard to trust 100% no matter if your still with the one who cheated or have moved on.

Keep in mind that men cheat for different reasons than females do. Men also mature a lot slower than women. Men have sex just to have sex. I am sure that is all it was as he is still with you, he supports you....sounds like he made a major mistake (what man doesn't? LOL) and I am sure he feels bad knowing, that he could have been the one to transmit the herpes virus to you. Again...I stress the part "could have".

I wish I could make every negative thing go away for you, but unfortunately, it is up to you and your husband to make it work.

Hugs and if you ever need to talk, i'm a holler away!
[e-mail]

Answer 5

This should be your decision, so you have a few things to think about.
Do you still love him and feel the same way about him even after the cheating and giving you herpes... Don't stay in a relationship only because you have the same thing. That isn't fair to any one. If you don't love him or don't want to be with him or you can't trust him any more then you may want to think about moving on. If you still have a strong relationship then you can work past it, try to forgive him but don't let him off easy, he has to regain your trust and work with you to rebuild your relationship. If you two really want to work things out then you may want to think about seeing a marriage / relationship counselor.
Herpes will always be with you. You have the same thing and you're not going to make it any worse if you stay together. You can still have healthy children and do every thing you want with your life. Herpes is also very manageable with treatment.
If nothing works out then you may want to try separating for a while. If you're happier being apart from him then you may want to consider getting divorced.

Answer 6

If you have forgiven him you have to forgive all the crap that went with it.
After 33 years my husband had a fling, we were separated for over a year. We are back together and I know what you mean. But forgive & forget is just that.
It is a terrible thing you both will have to live with, either together or apart.
But you must decide and not let it eat you up inside. Confront him and talk it out with him. Have him go to see the doctor with you, a little guilt is good for the soul.

Answer 7

I don't believe in reconciliation in a marriage after some one has destroyed all of the respect, trust and love that created the union.
I have a brother who is a womaniser and I can tell you that they don't changed. When someone cheats they feel that they can do it again because they can... and because they can always run back to you and ask for forgiveness. You need to understand that love is something that we learn and that you can learn to love somebody else again.
Good luck to you, but remember once a cheater, always a cheater!

Answer 8

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Answer 9

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Answer 10

Marriage is for life and so is Herpes
He had his fun and is now paying the ultimate price.
What right has to to pass this awful disease onto you for life. Get yourself tested, then leave him. See who wants him now!

Herpes also makes you infertile
You have a lot to think about