how do I tell my boyfriend....?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months, before I was with him the condom split with a man I was with and I caught an std, I have only just found out, so have probably passed it on to my new boyfriend. How do I tell him?

Answer 1

You need to just tell him.

If it is a bacterial STD like gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and "trich" (trichomoniasis) they can be easily treated with medication. So if he does have it, he will be able to treat it and everything will be okay. If these STDs are not treated it can cause infertility, inflammation of the testicles, and other serious health problems!

If it is a viral STD like herpes, HIV/AIDS, hepatitis, HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) there is NO cure. These STDs will stay with you (and him if he got it from you) for the rest of your life.

And, some guy before said he doubted it took you 5 months to find out, that's bull. Some STDs can take months and even years to show any symptoms of the virus. Without symptoms, people don't realize they have an STD. I have had HPV for over 5 years. I got genital warts from it about 7 months ago. It took 4 1/2 years for me to develop symptoms, so obviously it can take a LONG for a person to realize they have an STD.

It is very important that you tell your boyfriend. If he does have an STD from you, hopefully it is a bacterial one that he can treat with some antibiotics. You need to tell him though, because some STDs can cause serious health problems if left untreated. I have had genital herpes and HPV for over 5 years now. When I met my fiance (boyfriend at the time) he didn't have either virus. Before we got sexually involved I told him I had both viruses. He was shocked but totally nice and supportive about it. We talked a lot about it and I even gave him some good websites about the viruses so he could look at them in his free time. Just explain to your boyfriend what happened with the other guy. If he has questions about it (and I'm sure he will), make sure you have good information about it and explain it to him.

Good luck!

Answer 2

ali has given you great advise!.. there is no other option huni but to tell him. It's not like you have had an affair... this was before him .. and at the end of the day, we all have a past! And as someone said earlier, if he doesn't accept this (albeit he might be a bit shocked and angry at first...before he accepts the situation)..but if he is totally horrible about it..then best you find out his character now..and not later! You could be a complete horror and not tell him..so would he prefer that, i doubt it!

I had clymdia once (can't spell today) they found it through my eyes..as if i had conjunctivitus...(i was in shock..omg.. i might look at things lol...but how could i have std showing in my eyes)!! It's very rare that they find clymdia through eyes.. so i was very lucky..but i felt awful..but i don't know how long i'd had it.. .and don't know who i've caught it from...so it may have been there a while... so 5 months, is pefectly feasibly should he question it!

Finally..just a idea for you... since i had that and felt awful etc .. and that put a risk to my being able to concieve...i make sure i'm always clean before and after a relationship... by going to the gum clinic.. i do ask any new boyfriend...if they want to have sex without a condom.. that they have to get checks to..the real men (the nice ones) remain..and go do it..the twats..run a mile! I'd rather know they don't really care about me at the beginning rather than later on! This is a good way to make sure you are both clean..and god forbid anything appears later on.. then you both know..one of you has strayed!!! So if you and this guy manage to get over this hurdle (which i hope you do).. .why don't you arrange for your both to go to a gum clinic same day..both get checked..and start afresh!!

When you tell him.. i'm sure he will see how upset you feel about this...tell him NOW...sooner rather than later .. good luck, be safe and hope it all works out okies for you.. Hope this helps somehow x

Answer 3

Last January while I was at work I got a phone call from the doctors office saying that my culture came back positive for Chlamydia. My heart just dropped at the thought of having to tell my boyfriend of a less than a year. I thought all day of what and how I was going to possible to beable to tell him that I may have passed an STI down to him. What I did was research it a bit and practice what I was going to say. I thought the worst of things was going to happen once I said those 3 dreadful letters, STI!! Well when I got home my first things out of my mouth was, "We need to talk." I sat him down on the couch and just told him that the doctors results came back that I have Chlamydia. I then told him that that is an Sexually Transmitted Infection and that it is 100% curable with a simple prescription from the doctor. To my surprise, he took it extremely well. We both got treated and all is well. This experience really made our relationship so much stronger. It has showed him that I can behonest with him even through the tuffest of all subjects, STD's!!


So tell him, both you and him will be greatful you did!!

Answer 4

You have to know that there is a big chance he is going to be pissed off no matter what. There is a big chance that you are going to loose him, BUT you have to tell him. You have to be honest with him. If he really loves you and he is not a jerk eventually HE WILL understand.

Sit down with him.... Tell him that you have something bad to tell him. Tell him that this was not intentional on your part, that you had no idea this would happen. You are going to have to repeat those 2 statement over and over and also apologize A LOT.

Tell him exactly what happend. Emphasize that you were with this other man before him.
YOU NEED TO TELL HIM because if he has it you don't want him to give it to another person and also you don't want this to be tormenting you for the rest of your life.

Answer 5

I got identified with genital herpes (type 2) about 5 years ago, while I was still in college and had a mindless one-night stand. I realize loads of girls will say this, but I swear I had certainly not done that sort of thing before. I just made a mistake that one time and suddenly I felt like I was going to have to live with the implications for the rest of my life. The hardest part was feeling I could never date guys again. In the end, who wants to go out with someone that has sores round her private parts? But since a friend shared this video https://tr.im/1doE2 everything got better.

Not only was I able to eliminate all remnants of the herpes virus from my body in less than 21 days, but I was also able to begin dating once more. I even met the guy of my dreams and I'm so blessed to write that just last week, in front of everyone in a packed cafe, he got down on one knee and proposed to me!!! This system provided the opportunity to be happy and experience real love. Now I want to help you too by sharing this with the whole World.

Answer 6

WHOA..That's going to be a good one. How old are you two? Guess depending on age, depends on the answer..First off go to a doctor or buy a couple pregnancy tests..Don't want to go around saying something that isn't true. Then you'll need to call him up tell him you have something you two need to talk about. Ask him how he feels about kids and what he would think about having one. Take the indirect way of telling him you're pregnant just to see what he thinks about kids. Then, if I was a female, I'd show him the pregnancy test and tell him you're going to be a daddy

Answer 7

Aaah, yes, excatly, just do what you feel is right. How about telling him he is a cheating bxstard and he has given you a dose of some shxtty pox he got from shxgging around with old slappers he meets in the pub behind your back ?
I think most women would agree that that is the best thing to do in such a situation.
(he probably has been anyway, so it will not be a great shock for him)
Then go with his best mate just to rub it in.

Answer 8

Tell the truth of how thing happened. There's always the possibility that your boyfriend may leave you, but he deserves the right to know, so he can get treated and to make sure he does not spread it to no one else. Good Luck.

Answer 9

how long did it take for you to find out? I doubt it took over five month for you to find out. Most stds show up within days. When that condom split you should have been at the doctor within the week. Your bf is not going to react very well. depending on your std he may have a life long disease. Chlaymidia can be cured, warts are burned off but come back and herpes is forever. I suggest you get lots of info on your specific disease and tell him. Keep strong while talking to him and avoid using the words, terrible disease, disgusting, grose, etc.

in the meantime dont have sex, or foreplay

Answer 10

All you can do is be honest with him and tell him what happened. If you caught this before you met him, then it's not like you were being unfaithful and it is just one of these unfortunate things that happens. Regardless, you have to tell him so he can get himself checked out.