what to do with my diabetic boyfriend?

Question

me and my boyfriend have been together for a year....he has diabetes which isnt somthing i cant live with...but he just doesnt take care of himself im scared it may effected him later down the road like when we want to have kids, it may blind him or even cripal him for life...ive cried to him about it and begged him....i told him what is doin to our relationship and he says hes gonna do better but he hasnt.......what do i do he is 20yrs old and doesnt want to excepted he has an ailment....but i love him....and im scared he wont ever start taking care of his illness.....PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

Answer 1

You did not indicate whether he is on insulin or the pill. At any rate, I have little doubt he already knows the dangers and is in denial, self-pity and just plain rebellion to submitting to the fact he is "defective", and must accept the fact he MUST take medicine, watch his diet and not live like other "normal" people.

I too have this damn disease, no one in my family had it and I also am mad as hell about this happening to me. It has taken years off my life and now is ruining my "golden years". I cant eat "normal foods" having to poke my fingers multiple times a day and watch what medicines I take... My heart has serious problems, and now my eyes are giving me some problems... whether from age or the disease- who knows???

If your friend doesnt care enough about his future, then he won't care about yours either... Not blaming him... he has a right to be mad and frustrated; but he STILL has got to deal with this curse or his life will REALLY be in the toilet down the road. Considering children with him is going to be a very serious thing; do you want a child of yours to have this malady? Do you want to have to deal with another person who deeply resents having to be "different" from their peers? To live in constant hyper guardianship over them to keep the sugar down so that when they get a cut or scratch, or ???? that is doesnt become a fatal infection?

I know you are very caring and interested in your friend, but if there is even a smidgeon of pity or "the need to "mother' him.." then your future is goign to be pretty miserable. He needs to get his head out of his butt and accept the cards as dealt; he has to deal with this like his life depends on it and it DOES!!! All that you've heard about eyesight, infection, the loss of feeling in both feet and hands from the elbows down IS A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY. It is quite possible that other things are also going to stop working... if he isnt careful now of what health he has at this time, he is NOT ever going to get "better".... but more and more BITTER...

My friend, you too must consider your own life 5, 10,- 20 years ahead... what do you see with him? What if he doesn't change and start to assume responsibility for his own body... How long is it going to take for you to become resentful and very disappointed when your "child" refuses to grow up and assume his place as the "man" of the house??? THINK HARD HERE..... Are you moved by PITY? (tell the truth)... do you feel sorry for him? Is it possible you are responding to his own self-pity that expresses itself as denial that he has a life-threatening disease???

If ANY of these thoughts are in your mind...you MUST stop and re-assess your plans of a future with him as he is now... Too many sweet and loving women fall in love with these guys, and down the road find themselves so angry with the men- bitter that nothing they did changed them, mad as hell that they wasted their time on trying to mother a grown up baby into changing and returning the love you gave them... They wind up hating themselves and their partner... and that hatred spills out across both lives... THINK NOW! if you REALLY care about him, tell him that you are not going to stand by and watch him throw his life away and MEAN it.

Believe me, this is a cross in the road for both of yall... He needs to mature into an adult and you need to let him; force him, or LEAVE him. Your relationship as it is at this moment is doomed. He MUST accept the responsibility for his care on his own and DO IT. Yes this is TOUGH talk. but a life with an adult child who is constantly going from crisis to crisis is pure manipulation on his part and one day you are going to remember the woman who told you so! Get tough or get OUT!!!!

I know this hurts... I would tell my daughter the same way... I have learned the hard way and I just dont want to see you get hurt. Ginger

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I am writing to tell you what an incredible impact these methods had on my life! I have had type 2 diabetes for 27 years. For me, the worst part of this horrible disease is the severe pain I constantly get in my feet. The pain is so bad that I avoid standing and walking as much as possible. I've got to tell you that within the first month, my feet stopped hurting altogether and I can now walk totally pain free.

Believe it or not, I even danced at my niece's wedding last month, something I have not done in a many years. I've been following the book for six months now and my blood sugar is well within normal range. I feel great!

I recommend you use the Type 2 Diabetes Destroyer to naturally reverse your diabetes.

Answer 4

It is common for newly-diagnosed diabetes sufferers to deny the illness. One of the things that is so awful about diabetes is that damage is being done even though you don't feel sick.
Unfortunately your b/f has to decide for himself that he's going to take his diabetes seriously...you can't make him. You can, however make sure that he knows what he's dealing with. If your b/f continues to neglect the care of his diabetes, he can expect the following:
Erectile dysfunction, blindness, nerve damage, heart problems,amputation of limbs, kidney problems, and other life-threatening illnesses.
Your boyfriend is still young and probably doesn't have any problems yet. The sooner he gets his diabetes under control, the longer he can enjoy his life. He must act NOW though. In five years he will have some or all of the abovementioned symptoms and will have a much harder time fixing things.

Answer 5

Twenty-year-olds still harbor the dual adolescent attitudes that "it can't hapen to me" and "If anything bad is gonna happen it'll take, like, forever. I've got plenty of time to deal with it; just not right now." And you're right -the longer he puts it off, the harder it's gonna be to deal with.
He's prolly good and scared, knowing that diabetes is a killer. Many people just refuse to face their own mortality.
You cannot change him. He has to want to change. You're correct in that his diabetes could have an effect on the children you two could have - there is a strong hereditary component to the disease. If he won't make the effort to control his own problem, how supportive do you suppose he'll be if one or more of his children develops the disease?
I know it's gonna be hard, but it's time for a final discussion: you need to tell him that you're through. Yes, he'll promise to do better, but he won't. Oh, he may do okay for a month or so, but he'll be right back to square one soon after. You owe it to yourself and your future children to ensure that you all have the best future outlook that can be hoped for, and while there's no guarantee, you should not allow a known threat to that future to continue while you have the ability to remove that threat. So, tell him you're sorry, but it's goodbye. And then stick to that decision!

Answer 6

I am 25 and also a diabetic. it is a hard thing to accept sometimes, it makes you feel sometimes like a weirdo cuz you can't eat like everyone, and there is all this fuss cuz you are different, and people always say stuff about it, the best thing you can do if you live with him is change your eating habits. don't make a big deal out of it, and it will be hard for you. if you cook for him, just make healthy meals. stick with a carb counting diet, that's how i do it. you get 45 carbs per meal, give or take a few, he gets 60. stick with good carbs, such as grains, corn, some potatoes, and stay away from processed sugar. things you wouldn't expect such as milk and juice can raise your blood suar a lot. if you really love him, and it is a very serious condition, just help him by eating healthy and on a strict diet with him. so that he won't feel the pressure so much. good luck, it sounds like you really care, a lot of people have diabetes, but not a lot have people who love them and are willing to sacrifice for them. good luck, you can help save his life!!

Answer 7

juvenile diabetes is a bane in the life of any teenager.
every thing in life depends on how u take care of ur sugar now. this disease can be so crippling that it may cause ...renal failure in early 40 resulting in renal transplants, blindness, diabetic foot with amputation, heart attacks, diabetic coma, acidosis, dead in bed syndrome, impotence......etc.

y dont u take a book on diabetes and complications from ur library or check it out on emedicine.com and show him how importanat his self help would be for him.

they say the diabetic should take care of his foot like his face....

and i m really happy to know people do care for the others

Answer 8

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Answer 9

Tell him that you care about him and it would mean a hell of a lot to you if he'd keep himself healthy cuz you wanna keep him around for a long time.

Answer 10

He needs to go to counseling and talk to others who didn't take care of themselves. Maybe if he actually sees and talks to an amputee, it will light a fire under him to take care of himself.