I met this guy, we were having a very good conversation.. We talked for hours. Well the topic of sex did come up. I felt like a Kiss was about to occur soon. I felt a good connection with this guy and I could tell he was feeling the same ..Of course he already knew that Sex wasnt gonna happen that night..I made that very clear.. But as we were talking I felt like I need to let him know my condition.. So I told him..He asked me questions we talked some more he didnt run off but after we did part..I dont know He hasnt called me I kinda want to call but I think I should just let it alone what do u think?
2006-07-22 09:22:04 · 15 answers · asked by shygirl 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
Girl, I applaud you for your new-found sense of sexual responsibility !! I absolutely agree with you that EVERYONE (who becomes) intimate with you has a right to be informed before-hand.
(Am I correct in assuming that you mean Herpes Simplex II?)
Perhaps you jumped the gun on this one - told him too soon ?? But then, maybe you had to find out right away that he wasn't for YOU.
Why not take a breather from sex and be in pursuit of a relationship that might last? If someone really wants to be with you, he will respect your decision NOT to have sex right away. And when that special person STAYS they might actually love YOU for YOU. When it becomes serious, the two of you can 'deal' with your Herpes Simplex II together.. and with the help of your doctors, have as 'normal' a sex life as possible.
As for 'serious'... I mean *FOREVER LOVE YOU*... SERIOUS. I once listened to a talk by Leo Buscaglia (sp?) who brought up the point of a 'meaningful relationship'. If one has sex with everyone they have a 'meaningful relationship' with, they are having sex with everyone THEY had a 'meaningful relationship' with. You could be sharing sexually transmittted diseases with several hundred of the most meaningful people in our population !! Like "chain-diseases".
I think a lot of us get caught up in the feelings of being loved.. and don't set the bar high enough to attrack the real love that we deserve !! After all, if you give him milk free, he doesn't have to buy the cow !!
As for whether or not you should call this guy, my vote is NO ! He is scared of you. His side of the 'connection' YOU felt wasn't strong enough so he even wanted you as a friend. He hasn't called to ask if you'd like to entertain that thought, has he?? He doesn't CARE. Don't waste your time. Move on.
- Hope this helps !! :-)
2006-07-22 10:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by WhatAreYouTalkingAbout? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he got scared -- either because he believed you & thought "Thanks, I'll pass," or because he thought you were making it up in order to blow him off.
One of my best pals has herpes -- sardcastically calls it the souvenir she brought back from a wild vacation in Cancun about 5 years ago -- and she said she always told guys about it on the 1st date before even a kiss on the cheek. Some were like "Ok no big deal", some bolted, some said "Ok no big deal" and THEN bolted (LOL), some even laughed at her or insulted her. She said as much as she wishes she had never contracted it, it was informative to see a guy's reaction to the news. p.s. She's married now, to a great guy she met about 3 years ago, so she doesn't have to have those awkward conversations anymore! :-)
Maybe he hasn't called because he is not ok with your condition, but maybe for some other reason. Personally, I guess I would let it alone for a while & see if he calls...few weeks go by & still no call, if you're still thinking about it, give him a call & see what he says. It might not be the most fun conversation ever, but at least you (a) will have given him ample time to think it over, make up his mind, and call if he's going to, and (b) will get your answer.
Good luck to you!
2006-07-22 09:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by visualizewhirledpeas72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. That took TONS of courage (Hooray!!), it is always best to be honest about something like that b/c he could have found out from you having an outbreak. He will respect you more. You are a good person for caring enough about him to tell him before things go ANY further. Good luck!! Also, keep in mind that Herpes is VERY common. Now affecting 1 out of every 4 adults in the U.S. He may be taking the time to call you so he can do some research on herpes and see what safe sex practices you can engage in.
2006-07-22 09:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by Naomi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are great. There are so many people out there who wouldn't open their mouth in a situation like this. They'd spread the herpes and not care. You are so considerate and brave and if this dude doesn't call you back then he doesn't appreciate your honesty, which he should. It's tough to be in that situation but look at it this way....a guy said he'd call me four days ago and I have yet to receive his call! So, at least you know that "Waiting for the call" situation happens to everyone. Anyway I know that I would definitely not be turned off by someone who had the morals and respect to be honest with me. To me that's a good sign that you are an honest person. I usually let them be if they don't call me but if you felt a connection with him (Because after all none of us on here knows what went on between the two of you) and if he is a genuinely nice person then I don't see the problem with calling to say "Hey, how you doin'?"
2006-07-22 09:38:45 · answer #4 · answered by Capee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady, you are a top class human being for being upfront and honest with this person. If only more people out there could be like you the world would be a better place. I take my hat off to you. Spare yourself the possibility of rejection and pain by contacting this person. The ball is in his court. There's a great song by the Beetles that goes "Let it be, let it be, let it be...."
You have done a great thing by being honest. I really hope you find the one that calls you back one day! Good Luck!
2006-07-22 20:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by George 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I am so proud of you and i do not even know you. That is great that you told him your condition. Probably could be anything don't worry about it. You can call him and see where if you to are going anywhere with your and his feelings ....don't give up i mean if his distance he might end up surprising you...
Take care and May God bless you in this life and in the next
2006-07-22 09:30:29 · answer #6 · answered by kida_w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing telling him you had herpes. He may need to process the whole thing before he know what he wants to do. I'd give him a chance to call you and If he doesn't, well that's his loss. Good luck
2006-07-23 12:25:41 · answer #7 · answered by paulamcneil1223 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty obvious that he was after one thing. If he doesn't call you back, then he doesn't deserve you. Only someone mature enough will understand your condition, and be willing to accept it. If anyone don't accept this, then they're no good, and not worth the time or tears over. Best of luck to you.........
2006-07-22 09:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T CALL... You have answered your own question. You are brave for telling him that and I applaud your honesty. So many people are not that bold and don't give other people the option of kissing or not kissing when you have an STD. Don't worry.. you'll find someone else.
2006-07-22 09:28:01 · answer #9 · answered by Danielle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say let him go, i mean its going to take time, there are many websites where you can find a partner who has herpes/ geintial warts/even aids.
datingwithh.com
mpwh.net
positivechristians.com
these are a few i found for you
try them so did you beat the guy up who gave them to you? i would have
you have to tell someone maybe wait after a couple dates to tell them next time
2006-07-22 14:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋