still unsure?

Question

Hi, I am confused more than ever. Since it was confirmed in April.06 I had herpes 2, my partner has not been the same towards me, I am still trying to deal with the fact on how I got this horrible disease. He acts different around me, there is no effection on his part..I am treated like crap..He went to south america in March/06, I arrived March 11/06, for a 2 week vacation..after I came back ..I started to get sick..and ended up in emergency on easter sunday..only to fine out I had HERPES...my life has not been the same since...is there other ways of getting herpes..besides of having sex? I was full infected..and sore for 2 weeks..with blisters..my partner won't wear condoms because he don't want to.. and we don;t have intercourse...he touchs me only..I feel like garbage..I feel ugly..I feel dirty..sad and alone

Answer 1

Maybe your partner doesn't understand exactly what genital herpes is. Maybe you should try and explain it to him and give him some websites or something that he can look at in his spare time. From what it sounds like though, doesn't seem like he would even want to do that.

If he is showing no signs of the virus and you have it, he might be thinking you cheated on him and that's how you have the virus. Genital herpes is only spread by sex and direct skin to skin contact.

For some people it can take months or even years to show any symptoms of the virus (this is pretty rare though). So, he might have it and he is showing no symptoms or very minor ones. Has he been checked? He should probably get a blood test done to see if he has the virus.

And PLEASE don't feel like you are dirty or ugly! You are not dirty! I got genital herpes from the second guy I had ever slept with! Just because you have herpes doesn't mean you are a slu t or easy and sleep around. If he is treating you like crap you really should leave him. Nobody should feel dirty or ugly from the person that is suppose to love them and care from them. There are PLENTY of guys out there who accept girls with herpes. I am with a great guy right now, soon to be married, and he accepted the fact that I had herpes. He has NEVER made me feel dirty or ugly because of it! Don't take this from him!

Answer 2

Sweetie! If he is treating you like that after just because you have somthing that soo many other people have, and the chances are high that he was the one who gave it to you, then its time for you to find someone who will love you just the way you are, herpes and all. My best friend has hpv, and she knows that it is somthing she has to have that nice little chat with a man before they get more "involved," but she has never had a man treat her differently. Sounds like this guy is rude, and if he won't wear a condom with you, then who else did he refuse to wear one with. Hate to break it to you, but he's a loser and you need to find a real man. Don't feel sad or alone or dirty or any of those things. Feel proud that you are able to manage your health effectively, and know that there are people who do care (even though the web seems rather impersonal..) Good luck.

Answer 3

Your first outbreak usually makes you feel pretty sick. Most women I believe have more intense symptoms than men. Do you know that one in 4 americans have genital herpes? That means more people have herpes than Fords! I have been with my partner for 5 years and have never spread it. There is a chance that you can not have another outbreak for years, or ever. There is a chance that you'll break out every month. You just dont know. Taking Lysine, daily on an empty stomach first thing in the morning can help. If your outbreaks become frequent, Valtrex is a life saver. Your not dirty, he sounds immature. It is possible you got them from him. He may not even know he has them. Oral sex with a person who has a cold sore can give you herpes. The evidence of the virus living on surfaces has been proven but is still controversial as to the ability to contract it. They say to still not share towels when youre broken out and to wash your hands frequently as well. Keep hands away from your eyes too.

Answer 4

First of all, I must say your partner is being very cruel at this moment. I'm not trying to make you feel worse just by adding something else for you to think about. But your partner should care for you and in that case they should be understanding that this is a difficult time for you, and probably quite difficult for you to deal with physically, because it hurts extremely bad, and emotionally. If they can't be there through the good and the bad that is a problem. However, on the other hand, you need to talk to your partner, because just as much as it is affecting you, it is probably affecting them. Your partner probably has many things on there mind, for all you know they might be really wondering how you got it, if they are going to get it (and not everyone is comfortable with knowing they may get it). Both people are affected, however you need to talk to them and find out where exactly they stand at this point. Because you do need affection, and if that means that the use of a condom needs to happen, that needs to happen. But you need to let them know how it is making you feel. Explain that it is okay to use condoms, because even if you aren't breaking out you can definately still give it to them, so I mean ask yourself this, is your partner never going to have sex with you again because you can spread it at any point, symptoms or no symptoms, and because they don't want to use a condom. This is something that will never go away, and if you need to get rid of your partner so that you can deal with this on your own so that you can accept it, if they aren't going to be there for you and if they aren't going to accept something that will never go away, you need to think about what exactly the feelings are in this relationship. Good Luck and talk to your partner!! Need more help just contact me!!

Answer 5

My husband has gotten sores in his mouth his whole life. I started getting one every once in a while on my "lip" down below. Its painful, so I went to the doctor and found out I had herpes. We were shocked!! But we figured out that when my husband had a sore in his mouth, we had oral sex (ALOT) and thats how I got it.
You should have your partner tested. He needs to be schooled on the facts. Its not your fault. This isn't life threatning disease. It can be controled with medication. Good luck...........

Answer 6

Your partner is obviously mis informed about this disease.
If you got it on a holiday then your partner sounds like he is put off by the disease itself and not you,but,if he is being cold towards you then you need to have it out with him and get this in the open.
If his feelings have changed for you then he atleast owes you the dignity and respect of telling you.
christy

Answer 7

Your partner is a jerk. since you were in SA there may have been something over there that may have given you herpes. Since SA is prone to AIDS and stuff.

Answer 8

TAKES SOMTHING LIKE THAT to really find out what someone is like now you know! dirty[ water bugs ]masqueetos,fleas,