I was digging a hole in the backyard to bury my dead hellhounds because they got into the poisoned beefsteak, when I discover the bones of Jesus himself! When I touch one of them, they begin to shake and fall apart. After they crumble away, a heavenly light envelops me. I look up to see the reincarnation of Christ descending upon me, and boy does he look pissed.
Without a word, he begins hurling fireballs at me. Luckily, I had just finished building a death ray out of lollipops and rainbows and sunshine and laughter.
Dodging out of the way of the fireballs, I fire three well placed shots at Jesus. He holds up his hand, and blocks them. I curse to myself, and jump behind a tree for cover. I hear a loud crash, and note to myself that the fireballs have caught the tree on fire. I jump around and start firing blindly, hoping against hope to hit him. Nothing works.
As a last ditch effort, I pull a flash grenade out and throw it, blinding him. I use this time to safely escape.
2006-07-06 23:27:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Very creative. It sounds like you've been getting into the beefsteak. Not a question, but it was very entertaining.
2006-07-06 23:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you imagine you already know what Yashua, Jesus the Christ sounds like? the images/artwork you've seen of 'Jesus' reflect an image of ways Christ become assume to have appeared even as He walked this earth. He become murdered, buried, and arose from the useless. He does not seem that way now. Rev a million:18 "i'm He that liveth and become useless: and behold, i'm alive for evermore, Amen....." Rev a million:13-16 provides a depiction of ways Jesus the Son of guy seems on the on the spot. Verse 16 "....and His countenance become because the sunlight shineth in His potential." In verse 17, John fell as although useless at His ft. Why? because the distinction of Christ can't be beheld by using mere human eyes.
2016-10-14 05:12:44 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't know Jesus was in "Charmed". Perhaps he thought you were a demon, especially with the hellhounds and all. Watch out though, now that you've disrupted him he'll probably come back for you to finish the job. You need to come up with a protection potion really quick. If in fact you are a demon, you're screwed anyway, because demons get all the bad press, and the "good" people of religion are allowed to vanquish you, according to their rules. And then they wonder why demons are so pissed off. Gee, I mean, I really love being on the menu, don't you? (not)
2006-07-06 23:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At last someone who makes sense... i too had a weird experience tho with jesus as he appeared in my cottoncandy and he had 666 tattooed on his forehead so i dialed the number and i got his dad on the phone who had a severe hangover from the life before and then my phonebox melted so...
2006-07-06 23:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Dr Benway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fool!
You think that was fun/funny?
Wait till his dad gets his hands on you!!! You can't run or hide and NO! There will be no mercy for the blasphemy of GOD!
2006-07-06 23:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by Chellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a close escape! Now go back indoors and take your medicine!
2006-07-06 23:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is help out there. You might want to talk to a mental health professional.
2006-07-06 23:31:25 · answer #7 · answered by jaybird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you back on the Acid?
be careful youl end up back at the funny farm again
2006-07-06 23:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Vermin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this was prety funny but how can you shoot at jesus because god and jesus is a bunch of bullsh*t. but this made me laugh
2006-07-07 00:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow :) Despite myself....I laughed. Shame on you.
2006-07-07 14:30:24 · answer #10 · answered by Little Wifey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋