My daughter is 25 years old and just starting dating a man who is Hiv positive. He is 40 years old. She says she is old enough to make her one dicisions, but I can't help worrying about her future health. She says that he has lived with it for 20 years and can guarentee her that she will not get it. He was with his ex for 15 years and she has never gotten it. How do I handle this? Am I just a worried Mom or do I have something to really worry about?
2006-07-06 23:13:38 · 11 answers · asked by JUDY F 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Infectious Diseases
Hi,
He certainly can't "guarantee" that she won't become infected, but if some minor precautions are taken the risks can certainly become extremely small. I understand that you worry, but I must compliment you on how you raised your daughter. She is an incredibly enlightened person for looking past the virus to the man behind it. That reflects back on to how you raised her. Well done! There are a lot of "magnetic couples" (one HIV+ , one HIV-) out there. Many have been together for long periods of time without ever infecting their partner. I suggest that you go to www.thebody.com and search their forums. There is a lot of info about magnetic couples there that will most certainly reassure you, and help you to accept and praise your daughter's decision. Hope that helps!
2006-07-07 00:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by johnhategoblins 3 · 9⤊ 1⤋
On the one hand you do have the right to worry. This is your baby, no matter how old she gets. But on the other hand, hopefully you have raised her well enough that she can make smart choices. she is an adult, and as hard as it is sometimes, as a parent you have to just sit back and watch, and be there for her. I know its hard. If you feel that she is in real danger, like she's having unprotected sex, then you should definitly step in. But try to do it more from a friends view then a mother. If she feels that you are undermining her, and trying to control her, she will probably rebel, and could possibly endanger her health further.
I wish you luck with this situation, and hope everything works out.
2006-07-07 06:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by evil_kandykid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beleive you have every right to be concerned. I am a nurse and when we treat folks with HIV ..we as medical professionals are honestly worried about doing it. So yes, I beleive you have the right to be concerned for your daughter.
HIV is spread by bodily fluids such as sperm and blood. It is not a hardy virus and it dies easily..but if you have a cut on your hand and blood with HIV comes in contact with your cut...you can have cause for concern.
There is no cure at the moment for this disease.
He sounds like a very selfish person and I am sorry that your daughter is involved with him.
I wish you all the best and might I suggest you forward information about HIV to her so that she is informed and maybe have her speak with a counsellor as well as her doctor or nurse.
I would personally have a conversation with him ...if she were my child...
There are no guarantees...he is not a nice man
2006-07-07 20:32:55 · answer #3 · answered by sexy nurse 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have something to worry about but we can't stop anyone from dating a person
So you can only hope your daughter will keep it safe
that and the facts that they are using protection
You know it better that he told her because he could be dating
someone that had the Virus and never tell this way she know what to do ,I lkie the known and not the unknown
2006-07-07 07:58:57 · answer #4 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
greetings!
I would first suggest that you do your research and become educated about hiv and aids. What tyope of medications are avaiable to prevent it. education is light and knowledge. Fear is darkness and ignorance. with knowledge you have the ability to weight out what you want to make your belief system.
I know people that have been hiv poz for 20 years and are doing fine. It required medication and a change in lifestyle but it is possible to maintain a healthy life. I do n't know anyone who can garuntee they would not infect another person if they as there is always a margin for error in safe sex.
You may concider getting informed and sharing what you learn with your daughter in a loving matter and let her know you are a advocate for her and her well being. it is not that you don't want her to have love you just want to protect her and this is an oppurtunity for the two of you to open communications between each other and let your relationship grow. Rember you can share your knowledge and insight with her but what she dose with that knowledge is what she dose with it. what she gets from what she dose is her actions. You can only be a becon of love and light that helps to educate her to make dessions that are god for you.
remeber fear is lack of faith. when we lack faith we are being asked to grow and step out of our knowing and into questing for knowledge. This may take you down one of lifes paths you may have otherwise not taken but i am sure you will be rewarded with c ompassion and insight. We all reach growth ledges in our lifes path and it is there that God is asking us to take a quantum leap of faith and trust that you will land on solid ground. He will be there for you when you jump.
I wish you the best on your lifes journey and encourage you to share your journey with others on this site.
god bless
Rev Q.
2006-07-07 11:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by spmq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some times they infect some and not others. Some day your daughter will come home (when she wakes up to herself) And she will want a cuddle from her mom. And you will be there for her.I suggest you tell your daughter bout safe sex for sure
2006-07-07 07:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he cant guarantee anything, and who knows if he was lying about his ex or not. but you cant force your daughter to do anything, make sure she realizes that and is well educated on HIV prevention so he doesnt talk her into doing something stupid
2006-07-07 07:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that i would be worried also i think she needs to find someone else and listen to her mothers advice especially being only 25 she has her whole life ahead of her
2006-07-08 02:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by slipknot 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your daughter needs help from the counselling of aids association. do convince her to attend for this programme.it may help her to understand what aids is all about. however practice save sex.
2006-07-07 08:58:47 · answer #9 · answered by chris jp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to wear condoms and pray for the best.She must really love him
2006-07-07 07:57:12 · answer #10 · answered by Elizabeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋