Has anyone ever been seriously estranged from their children? Any reconciliation with them and how did it go?

Question

I haven't really spoken to my son in over a year and when we tried to email each other it turned into a disaster. Later I found out certain things about how my son, and my daughter, feel about me. Those things hurt me very badly and caused me to question my entire adult life. I'm working on getting passed it with my daughter but since I haven't spoken to my son well things remain in limbo. I don't feel I can talk to him at all now even via email but I know that sooner or later we will have to meet. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been thru something similar and if so how was it resolved if it was resolved.

Answer 1

Hi Anna

So sorry for you. If this can help then ... My own situation will have proved positive to someone.

I estranged myself from my father because i totally resented his allusions that i shouldn't look after my mum. Theirs was a very bitter divorce, years after there were still bad feelings between them and i was caught in the middle. Not that my mum ever mentionned him but his phone calls/letters were vitriolic when it came to my seeing my mum. So i got fed up and told him not to contact me again.

We remained estranged for so many years ... I married without my father by my side, had my children who never knew their grand-father etc. I had tried to contact my father after my daughter was born to be told not to contact him again as he refused to take anything to do with a chil who would be in contact with my mum! So time passed and as it did, it became increasingly more difficult to reestablish some form of contact. It got to the stage where i didn't miss my father at all! I wouldn't have felt any different if he had died you know ...

On my son's 20th birthday ... I sent my father a photograph and a letter telling him that he really should take a good look at my baby boy and see what he was missing as his grand-son often asked why he couldn't have a grandad like everyone else. Two months later i received a letter from my father and step-mother, they didn't mention anything at all about the estrangement, simply asked how the party went, were we OK (Health) and told me about the weather etc. You know the kind of letter you'd expect from someone you've always been in touch with!

I replied and we started writing on a monthly, sometimes 2monthly basis until this year when my son and i visited my father and the whole family. It was nerve wrecking for all of us. The moment we clapped eyes on each other (My father and i) We just couldn't stop smiling and hugged like we never had before. We had a wonderful week with them, my father got to know his grand son, they went on outings together, and never discussed the reasons why we had become estranged in a first place. We are now always in touch and ready to visit in the autumn again.

Anna i do hope you can patch things up with your son long before i managed to do so with my father but you know ... We did it when all the odds were against us (He lives on the continent, me in Ireland) and family had long told me we would never meet again (My father and i). But we did!

I hope you don't have to wait as long as i did! You're in my thoughts.

Answer 2

My wife and I haven't spoken to our son in years.
As a matter of fact, I have no idea how to resolve it at this point.
We went through a period of not speaking with our daughter, but she figured things out and everything got better.
With our son, it seemed as though we would n sooner get one thing fixed that there would be another problem, i.e., stolen crdit cards, 40 year old women, shoplifting and drug dealing.
The last straw for us was when he withdrew our 6 month old grandson from our lives.
Good luck with it, I wish you the best.

Answer 3

You were married at one time, you've this on your benefit. also, you assert you've been paying wide-spread baby help, so that you're doing all of your section, even although your marriage ended previously the youngster replaced into born !! (solid job, pal !!) contained in the u . s ., divorced father and mom can wrestle issues out in courtroom. in case you lived right here, you may want to petition a opt to listen on your case. definite, it makes worry for the different figure, yet isn't there worry there already ? if you're wondering her baby-rearing (and also you DO have an situation), you pick to refer on your criminal specialist, and take her to courtroom. you've been making the youngster help funds, and also you DO HAVE A SAY, inspite of in case you left previously the child replaced into born. i imagine perhaps your ex has some serious separation topics. perhaps the choose will believe that, and advise counseling for her and the boy, as well as separate beds. solid success.