I just found out I had a secret sibling. What should I do?

Question

I was told that I had a secret sibling that is like 12 yrs old. I do not know how to handle the betrayal.

Answer 1

OMG! Well you need to give yourself time to think things through like a few months. Don't act now you don't want to do somthing you'll regret. Does your sibling know? If not and after a few months you decide to contact them come into their life gently don't push them or you'll terify them. If you choose not to then move away from where they live start afresh, one day they will find out about you, they might want to find you or not. Its up to you really. Just think for a few months once you've done somthing about it there is no turning back so you need to be sure. Good luck with your decision, I hope you are happy whatever you decide and whatever happens as conceqeunce.

Answer 2

Speak with the parent who's got the secret directly about you feeling,write it down, or e-mail it to that person. If you work some jobs offer talking to a couselor about situations at home.

My dad just did this to me about 5 years ago with the secret sibling. Me and the other sister are from differnent sides of the track soit makes bonding hard to do. I have accepted it is not my fault, but his for not sharing this info sooner (we went to the same high school together) I felt betrayed, and I don't trust anything he says.It is my dad's responsibility to bring us together and that is the ways that I leave it. The sister and I speak in passing and that is it. On the other hand you might make a great big sister to an little secrect or accident . Personally, i would try to get over it and move on to mending fences and welcoming a new family member if it dosen't cause too much of a shock to the whole family.Good Luck!

Answer 3

Do not worry too much. It is not the fault of that kid. Accept him as your brother. When you accept him, I am sure you will be happy. It's in the nature that heat is generated from friction and resistance. So do not resist, or friction will generate. Just accept the situation and see. Believe me you will be the happiest person in the world. You have got a new company. It all depends on the way we look at the situation. When you look at it as betrayal, you feel cheated. But if you look at it in the other angle and say to yourself that it is your brother, then you will be happy. Just love him with your heart. That is what Jesus (or any other God) does. He loves people. You to can be the God.

Answer 4

It is not betrayal. It is not your fault and you can not get mad at them for their actions. Your life with your parents has no Bering in this situation. If they gave the child up they might have had a good reason that you don't understand. If you want to start a relationship with your unknown sibling it is your business. Think before you do that. You might destroy the world he or she lives in.

Answer 5

I understand you feeling betrayed and yesterday I said to my twin (he took on somebody elses baby) that he and he g/f should bring the baby up witht he knowledge of knowing my bro' isn't the real dad. It's better to grow with that knowledge as he will still grow to love him for him, but to discover something like him NOT being his dad when strong will only make him weak. It would destroy him or knock him down in such a big way and they can prevent that by being honest with him as he grows. They wanted to keep quiet until he'd grown so this baby would grow 'thinking' my twin was his dad. I think if my twin rears this child as his own this child will feel love like a father toward him and more so for being so loving and giving him a father, but the child should know the truth as he grows.

You are one who has been kept in the dark and I feel sorry for you but there is no changing what has been done and parents get scared just like kids do. We can be scared of being honest with our children and that fear can create more problems than the fear itself.
You have gained a sibling, but more than that you could have a great friend if choose to get to know your sibling.
Give yourself time to adjust to the idea first, time is great for healing the pain of betrayel.
God Bless You and Good Luck xxx

Answer 6

The parent didn't mean to hurt you. They did something wrong and probably was too embarresed to admit it. The parent probably waited until you were older before admitting it. It is upsetting, but try to get past it and realize the parent is human and maybe now trying to set things right. You need to take some time to get used to the idea and then see if you want to make friends with your sibling.

Answer 7

This happened to me too. I'm 21 and found out a year ago that I had an older sister. We met and now we're best friends. We even live together. It was great getting to know someone I never knew existed, but shared such a bond. Don't be mad, get to know them. And don't feel betrayed, your parents may have thought this was the best way to handle it.

Answer 8

Don't be angry, just accept it, okay. Everybody makes mistakes during thier life time. Get to know the child if you have the chance and love him or her for who he or she is. Hope the two of you can become real good friends and spend lots of time together. You have not been betrayed. Parents tend to keep those kind of secrets but eventually they end up telling their children later on when they get older.

Answer 9

I found out that I have 2 siblings that I knew nothing about. I have nothing to do with my father or his kids. Dont' need the drama.

Answer 10

Well if you really want to know herere inviet her to a amusment theme park kids under 12 years old love it buy here some food and talk about waht been going on with your life and get to know her better to...if you hate i said you destroy her now!!!