my son is 1 and i know it wont come up soon but his dad left when i was 2months pregnant and wont talk to me.
2006-07-06 18:34:11 · 19 answers · asked by canadian_cutie_20_2002 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was raised by my brother and his partner.
My sperm donor left when I was two months old and my mother wasn't what you'd call a mom. I asked that same question once, and here's the answer my mom gave me.
"Honey, your daddy wasn't able to be a daddy to you, he had some problems and just wasn't able to be the kind of daddy you needed."
I don't know if that helps but if it does use it if you want.
2006-07-06 19:19:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him the truth-- and DON'T let him feel the anger you may feel towards the man. Your son will want two parents and you just need to say some nice things about him and say he left... as he gets older you can let him know he left you but again, don't plant any anger of yours in him.
My mother did this about my father whop left when I was a month old and it was definitely the right thing to do. She answered questions about my daddy and it was a while before I fighured out by myself that he must have been a jerk to leave. But it would have been bad if she had been saying he was bad at a time when I wanted to know about him-- because your father is part of you, and you want to be proud of all of you.
Even if the case was rape (omg can't even think about it), the child needs to learn gradually or figure it out, that it was a bad thing. At least don't tell him at 2 or something.
2006-07-07 01:44:39 · answer #2 · answered by usmousie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him that there are many children who don't grow up with their mother and father. Plenty grow up with only one or the other, or even with neither (in the case of adoption). You might even want to tell him that some people have two mommies or two daddies, planting the seed of acceptance at a young age. It would be a wonderful opportunity to tell him what makes family important.
It is important that he understands he's not alone in being daddyless, as children often don't want to feel like they're alone (adults too, for that matter). It is also important to help him understand that that doesn't make him worth less than any other kid.
I wish you the best of luck. Be strong.
2006-07-07 05:23:04 · answer #3 · answered by hynkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful with him, so his self esteem is not hurt. There is a book out called "Where's my daddy", or maybe it was "Who is my daddy", it should be in your local library. The librarian can help you find it. It's a good book to read to him when he asks, as it deals nicely with the subject. Basically saying that sometimes guys aren't grown up enough or mature enough to know how to be real dads. And that maybe sometime in the future, you will find somebody who you will love that will be a good dad to him. It states it much better than I just did, but that's the general idea of it.
2006-07-07 01:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As time goes on he will catch on, but if the day coomes that your son asks you that question you tell him what you feel he needs to know at the time. If that happens to be he isnt here and he isnt coming back then you have to tell him that. You could just tell him he isnt here right now and try to go around it that way, but one day he will become old enough to ask you and he will want to find out. Its tough, Im sure. I have a dad who hasnt been here for me all the time but I get by and got by for that matter. Raise that boy as best you can and then you'll be fine
2006-07-07 01:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by niceguy4agze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your right you wont have to answer for a while yet, but that day will come. i have experience in this situation and it was a very bad thing his biological father done to me and for a long time i just told my son we were young and having a baby is alot of responsibility and he wasn't ready for the responsibility of raising a child. my son is 14 and has never met his father and i don't think he will.but my son has a father in his life and has for 10 yrs so i think my son is better off, however there is still the questions of do i look like my father, what was he like and things like that so definitely keep all them questions in mind for when the day comes your child asks the question.
2006-07-07 01:46:59 · answer #6 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth, but don't make his dad out to be a villain, even if you have to sugar coat some stuff. Just tell him his dad couldn't handle being a parent at that time, and that he loved his son, but the two of you couldn't get along, so he left.
2006-07-12 01:34:36 · answer #7 · answered by senyax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth it isn`t your fault his dad isn`t man enough. It is only going to be his daddys fault in the long run because his son is going to have alot of hate for him.
2006-07-07 01:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His dad doesn't seem very nice. Truth is always better in the end. If he doesn't ask after a certain point you should tell him because the shock of it will make him even more angry (for lack of a better word).
2006-07-07 01:40:17 · answer #9 · answered by ODST 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. Explain in a sensitive way that his father left and could not handle having a child. Anyway that you explain it, just be truthful at all costs
2006-07-07 01:39:02 · answer #10 · answered by tebone0315 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋