I love my family but they drive me crazy! I have to drive my brother everywhere, cook almost every meal, do ALL the housework, I work, go to school (college) and I have a 4 year old. I was recently divorced and moved in with my parents because I cannot afford my own place right now, but they treat me like I should do everything. What can I do?
2006-07-06 18:06:52 · 23 answers · asked by nightshade_deadly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am Twenty four (24)
2006-07-06 18:09:50 · update #1
For all of you who think I am getting a free ride I didn't mention I am paying half the bills!
2006-07-06 18:18:06 · update #2
There is nothing you can do if you are living in their house rent free. If you don't like it, get a job and move out.
2006-07-06 18:10:17 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living in someone else's house has its disadvantages but if you think that you are doing more than your share try having a family meeting and maybe drawing out some of the things or sharing responsibility. Do you pay rent? Before the family meeting it would be best to get your bearings and make a list. On one side put all the things your family does for you and on the other side list all the things expected of you. Review the list and if you still feel that it is uneven call the meeting and you have already solved the argument with the lists. Could be productive if there is a meeting. First thing we learn in college is BALANCE 101.
2006-07-06 18:13:54 · answer #2 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? wow 24.. so you are mature.. and this is how you need to act.. and they treat you! Respect!!
Be open with them
Have a family get together.. in fact not a get together. Call for a family MEETING *and write notes/minutes of this meeting who said what, and repeat the meeting a wee late, then do it monthly.. and distribute the notes.. in fact the following meeting should be based on the minutes and last discussions). They must know it is serious. Even send invites with an agenda.
Say this is important to you.
On the Agenda (insure everyone is there) put out in points, all your issues of concern.
Firstly, before the meeting, evaluate who is in your household, what time they have (free) or unfree).
Make a schedule of responsibilities that everyone one has THE SAME time of.. in fact: the time with your child: 2 hours a day: is not your free time, it is your responsibility.
Then on the meeting discuss how you feel, tell them that you love them very very much and to keep this love going you need they contribution. Then give out the time schedule and all the responsibilities which are on your shoulders divided between everyone else. Tell your parents, the reason why you moved in that you are busy saving for the future as you do want to move, and to save you need a stable home.. etc etc.. after all you are paying more that you should.. half??? (Do this meeting! or say that if they will not be prapered to help you the money you pay them will go towards a maid.. be straight how you feel)
I am sure you are intelligent lady and you will handle it perfectly. Just remember, family meeting and don’t allow anyone to get away with it. You can assign roles even to your Mum and Dad (when you go out they have to baby sit??.. it is a job, is this not?? you can say if they baby sit, you will do their chore assigned for next day..it is give and take..)
Best of luck
ps.. studying for your future is also a JOB!!! my daughter has always an excuse if she did not do something.. she studied: and when she bought back the best student of the year award: I gave her a bonus!!
Tell your parents on that meeting f they help you to finish your studies etc, it means that in future when they old you might be able to help them then just as they helping you now.
I am sure your parents will understand, however prepare yourslef on PAPER as what is written and not spoken often is taken nore seriously
ps2. Your parents are not that old if you only 24. It is their duty to be there for you. They bought you into this world, you did not ask for it. Now that you here they should make easier for you however you need to make it easire for them
2006-07-06 18:08:41 · answer #3 · answered by Desert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you have done without them?? Sure, You have a lot of pressure, But you should count your blessings.You have a place you can live to restart your life!! All you are going through right now will pay off in a huge way. Remember also, Your parents are putting up with a four yr. old running around, and letting you live rent free while you get yourself together. Millions of girls with kids WISH they had this opportunity!! You SHOULD be the one cleaning the house!! And once again,, Count your blessings!
2006-07-06 18:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy. When your Brother wants to go somewhere, say No. Or tell him to find a ride. Also, say that these are the only chores you will do. Pick at least one thing that nobody likes. (Cleaning the bathroom, doing dishes, etc.) As for other things that need to be done, tell them you only pick up after yourself and your child and you shouldn't be doing everyone;s else stuff. You don't mind HELPING them, but it's all about give and take. They take too much from you because you GIVE it.
2006-07-06 18:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by kevsnow00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it makes you feel better they probably respect you because you are family. And if they respect you enough then they should Liston to what you have to say. Talk to them at least cut down on some of the things you need to do. It's important to spend time with your kid because he or she is 4 and that's mommy time. Arts and crafts etc..... Just talk with your family. Thing might not change right away but keep pushing and don't give up.
2006-07-06 18:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by Scarlet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be thankful. Your family took you in so you can have a safe place for now until you get back on your feet. Stop harping about having to help out and notice how much you and your little one are being helped out. Life is hard and it sounds like you made it harder by making unwise choices in the past , so suck it up for now. It is your parents right to expect you to help out for freeloading. Pay them some respect !!!!!!!!!! I'm personally sick of anyone under the age of thirty. Grow up!
2006-07-06 18:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by Kimberly R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to get out of there a soon as possible. If you're living in their home, rent free,it wouldn't be smart to tell them to leave you alone. Which is worse? Living on the streets w/ your daughter, or helping out around their house? Good luck to you.
2006-07-06 18:13:16 · answer #8 · answered by euphoriarevelation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurt their feelings they will get over it. Dont listen to some of these jerks. Keep your kid, finish school, everything will come into place, stay positive. Help out around the house but let them know your not cleaning up after them.
2006-07-06 18:10:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them and explain that you appreciate them letting you come back home, and you understand that they are paying for many things for you, but it is too much for you. Does your mother work too? Talk with your mom and see if you cant get her to understand that you are dealing with a divorce, trying to be a mother, a student, and keeping up with the house. I hate to say that life is tough, but it is. However, just talk to them and be calm about it, getting upset or raising your voice will only work against you.
2006-07-06 18:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by x_lil_redangel_x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋