7 year old?

Question

My little cousin was 3 years old when his mother committed suicide.He doesnt really talk much about his mother .He's 7 years old now and he asked his father yesterday did his mother go to heaven? He told the kid no.(God does not forgive you for killing yourself.) If you were the dad would you have lied to him and told him yes.Why or why not? I think it really hurt him when his father told him this.Be honest and if you don't have a real answer then don't answer my question.

Answer 1

I would lie at first and then when he got older and then you tell him the truth thats not cool. Then he would understand more about down there and why she went there.

Answer 2

WOW.... Poor little guy. It's true that the bible says you will not be forgiven for commiting suicide, I think because when you do that, your are taking you fate into your own hands and out of Gods. BUT, a seven year old does not yet have the ability to fully understand things of such multitude. All he see's now is his mother burning in flames. Shame on his father for not being more sensitive to the question, that should have never been answered with a simple no. An explaination or even a generalization of, "Mommy will always be in our hearts" would have been much less damaging. I'm sorry, I have no real suggestion, but he will be in my prayers.

Answer 3

The first thing I want to know is why no on has put this child in therapy for some help ????? The poor kid has been wandering around for 4 years with this tearing at him. And it sounds like dad could use some help also because they are both hurting....I speak from experence....My step sister ( same dad ..different moms ) came home from school when she was 6 and found her mother dead from an over dose. My stupid father said..well she's young, she'll forget about it and would not get her any help. The end result....she commited suicide when she was 16 by blowing her brains out in his bedroom. All those years she needed help and he wouldn't get it for her. I wish I could have known then what I know now because even tho I live in Texas and she was in Calif. I would have tried to get my mom to help her. She died in 83 and I still hurt for her. PLEASE HAVE SOMEONE TALK TO THE DAD AND GET HELP FOR BOTH OF THEM BEFORE IT'S TO LATE !!!!! I still think the dad should have said she was in heaven or that it was up to God and left it at that.

Answer 4

Well from my understand supposedly god is ever forgiving so why would he forgive a child rapist who ask for forgivness vs. a woman who's husband obviously wasn't there for her and she took the only road she could see. I think this "father" ought to be smacked upside his freaking head personally. A child already tramatized by something like that doesn't need crap from an ignorant piece of crap I think you should talk with your cousin mabey sit down and talk to him about the heaven thing I am not big on religion or anything but mabey tell him ya know like god forgives people for there sins and reassure him that his mother did go to heaven. I wish I knew this supposed "father" who really seems more like a resentful peice of crap. Cause I'd knock some sense into his head.

Answer 5

I was raised thinking that suicide was a one-way ticket to hell, but the older I get and the more people and different walks I encounter the more I learn of the wisdom and mystery of God. I would have answered the child honestly, and coming from me it would have been a sincere "I don't know if she went to Heaven or not. I do know that God loved her and understood her far better than we ever will. He knew what hurts she had and what drove her to do what she did, but He also knew her heart, and that's not someplace we can go now. That is a question we unfortunately cannot answer." I would not have given him a "yes" or "no" answer, because judgement belongs to God alone and it is not our place to say who He does and does not take into His kingdom when this life is over. Sure we may have our ideas, but I know there will be plenty of people who find themselves truly surprised (dare I say shocked?) at what the final destination reveals.

I hope you will reach out to your cousin in his hurt and confusion. I don't know if he has a step-mother or other woman figure in his life, but family is very important and I am sure it will mean very much to him to know that you love and care for him. God bless.

Answer 6

OMG! HOW DARE HIS DAD TELL HIM THAT! He is only hurting his son by saying that. He should have told his son yes she is in heaven and let him make his own decisions on the matter as an adult. Right now his son needs things sugar coated because he is about to go through a rough time with this. 3 is kinda young, and maybe he doesn't remember her alot right now, but he is getting curious and will be asking more questions soon. You need to have a talk to his Father and set him straight, all he is doing by answering how he did is hurting his son, that is rotten!

Answer 7

I have to take it back a step, why does a child that young know the exact cause of his mother's death? I think he has been given to much info to soon, and my heart goes out to him. I think the father should take some parenting classes, and maybe get some counseling, from the way he answered he sounds like he still has hostilities toward the mother. I think your little cousin is really going to need you and that you need to be strong for him. As far as heaven goes, we don't know who goes to heaven and who doesn't because we are not supposed to judge. I like the answer that said ask where he thinks his mother is and go from there. I think that because of his father's attitude the boy has not felt comfortable talking about his feelings, maybe you could be the one that will let him get his feelings out, and really listen to him, good luck, it sounds like he has had a rough start in life, I hope it gets better for him!!!!!

Answer 8

Even though it is not right to lie, I would have told him yes his mother went to heaven. He is only 7 and not having a mother is hard enough to deal with, he does not need the added burden of thinking his mother was evil (which is why she is not in heaven). He basically needs to feel connected to her someway and it probably would have made him feel a lot better to believe his mother was an angel watching over him. His father should have been thinking more about comforting his son not creating a bad image of his mother.

Answer 9

I would've said yes. What is the poor boy going to think now? He can be as good of a boy as he can be, he can live all his years as a good person and in the end he will never see his mom again? That was wrong. of the dad to say that. I would've lied.
And although I know it's a sin to committ suicide, I don't believe that God doesn't forgive those who ended their lives because they were in despair. Maybe that way of thinking might be offensive to some, but I am sorry, that is how I feel.

Answer 10

According to my Holy Bible, the only unforgiven sin is to know God and turn away from Him. I have never read in my Bible that to commit suicide equals an unforgivable sin. Truth is, you and I do not know. Period. I think that would have been the best answer to give a child that young. Or maybe tell the child that once in Heaven things that are pleasant to us and make us happy are there (his mother being there would make him happy). I feel for that child. He was grasping for the thought of seeing his mom again one day and had it dashed.

Answer 11

I do think that you should always be honest with your kids, I have year old myself and there is a way that you can explain things to them in a way that is not so devastating. Just let them know according to the Bible, and accoridng to scripture when yu take your life it says that you don't go to heaven. But if you are true believer in GOD he can talke to GOD about his mother, trust me the lord will answer.