I am cooler, smarter, and sexier than Jesus, but he has had billions of followers and I have 5 or 6 at most. I know my time is coming to be more popular, but I'm getting impatient. Plus I'm like a thousand times more humble than Jesus ever was.
All are welcome at the Church of Cornfunkel.
2006-07-06 17:39:21 · 35 answers · asked by cornfunkel 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Dont get me wrong, Jesus was way cool. He could turn water into wine. That's so cool. But I'm cooler. I can turn water AND wine into urine in only a few short minutes. Let's see Jesus do that.
2006-07-06 17:46:37 · update #1
I am so high right now.
2006-07-06 17:50:28 · update #2
Uh huh....can I be in charge of selling the WWCD bracelets???
2006-07-07 09:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, originally Jesus only had 12 followers. How many do you have? Jesus had to be tortured, die on a cross, and resurrect himself. Have you done any of these things yet? If not, I'm sure you can find someone that would be happy to help out. I heard of a guy in Germany that wanted to be eaten. He put an ad in the paper and he found a guy that would eat him.... pretty gross. But, hey if he could find someone to help him with his dream, I'm sure you can find someone to help with yours.
Hey...do you have any prayers? Or hymns? (I like to sing) What is your philosophy? What are your churches like? Do you take tithes? How does one contribute to the Church of Cornfunkel?
2006-07-06 17:49:33 · answer #2 · answered by Misty B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! I don't see why you would have any followers. One day, my child (who doesn't exist yet) willl have billions of followers and rule the world. Mwahahahahaha
btw: *gives you a weird look* I'm the only one on this pitiful planet who deserves followers. Someday, I will take over this world and...
NO YOU WILL NOT! Yes I will! NO YOU WON'T! Yes I will! NO! Yes! NONONONONO! Yesyesyesyesyes! And there's nothing you can do about it it!
Sorry, just a temporary bit of insanity *smiles* Anyways, as I was saying... *goes off mumbling to self*
2006-07-06 17:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't met you, but Jesus is pretty cool. He can walk on water & turn it into wine. He can feed 5000 people with a few fish and throw a party that can raise the dead, and when to roof is on fire...He can put it out.
2006-07-06 17:47:35 · answer #4 · answered by bigtony615 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are one of the reasons the mental health profession thrives.
Now take you and your 5-6 followers, doctor Phil is right around the corner.
I hope this has been of some use to you, good luck.
"FIGHT ON"
2006-07-06 17:50:21 · answer #5 · answered by Skip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. good point to ponder. I am wondering what you are high on? but as far as jesus....it will take more time. That water n wine stuff was pretty good. Not too many can do that one.
2006-07-07 02:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man and I thought Conan O' Brien was jesus. Im switching to Dane Cook fuuckers.
2006-07-06 17:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by Potathao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be way cooler if you just ask for friends than followers. Popularity brings forth skeptics with a microscope.
2006-07-06 17:46:47 · answer #8 · answered by Pashur 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of us were around when Jesus was. He might have been way cool, and maybe that's why they don't talk too much about his life on earth in the Bible.
2006-07-06 17:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad, isn't it? His avatar isn't that hot and every time he asks a question about masturbation, he spells it "masterbait." I get the impression he has quite a reputation around the gloryhole, though. I think this is part of his appeal.
2006-07-06 18:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Anonymous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um..sorry, but jesus was waaaaaaaay hotter! you look like you are on some major drugs, sound that way too. go to bed and try waking up again! you are sooo wacked!
jesus is the true son of god. not you. you are crazy skitzoid who didn't take her meds cuz she thinks they make her fart or something..go back to the nut house you kook!
2006-07-06 17:44:44 · answer #11 · answered by nicci p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋