My mom gave a baby boy in 1968 when she was 19 after her fiance dumped her b/c she was pregnant. I would like to know about him. I want to know what he looks like, how's he doing in life, if he has any kids, etc. I am shocked to say the least because I NEVER imagined my mom in a "situation" like she was. How do I find out about him? Can I find out about him? Also, I am curious b/c I am the only single sister left out of 3 and I tend to date older men (and he would be 10 yrs older than me) . I know it's far fetched but what happens if i accidently date him? Should I confront my mom about this? I know it's selfish but I feel like I have a right to know. I know that she had to do what she had to do but I would really like to find out more about my brother. Thanks for your help.
2006-07-06 16:55:31 · 9 answers · asked by Julie S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First off, where was your mother living at the time she gave birth to the boy and through which agency was he placed.
It might be tricky, because in the 1960s adoptions were still closed.
Which is good in some regards.
Records can be unsealed, but it is usually the child who was placed for adoption that does the looking. Not a younger half sibling that does the looking.
Ask your mom about where she was at the time and the name of the agency. She might open up to you. It's been almost 40 years.
Sometimes the adopted child has no desire to learn of his/her bio family past, sometimes they do. You may have to accept the fact your brother may not want to be found.
Good luck in your quest.
2006-07-06 16:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by WhatAmI? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Julie - good for you. Contact the Hall of Justice & Records for the county in which he was born; a court clerk will tell you how much a certified birth certificate for a live birth baby boy born on (whatever the day and month) for 1968. (This is, of course, if your mother won't cooperated. I would ask her first about your half-brother. Do not judge; do not confront her. You have no idea what else was involved, and in nearly every adoption case it was not an easy decision to give up the baby, and it is usually so the baby will have a better life with people who can afford to give him the life he deserves. I would ask her privately and tell her it couldn't have been an easy decision and you would appreciate her telling you about it.) From there, you can contact the Department of Social Services and Adoption Records and see if the young man has put in a request to be contacted by his birth family, or if the records are sealed. Best of luck, Julie.
2006-07-06 17:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by Serena 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a grown person you have every right to know about your brother. I met my oldest brother when he was 40 and I was 38. Our mom had given him up in 1944, a time when an unmarried woman just didn't have children. We found each other because he hired a PI. I'd start by talking to your mother. Or you can always talk to a lawyer. Last you are not in any way being selfish.
I hope you find your brother and that you will be able to bond like I did with my big "Bro"
2006-07-06 17:05:58 · answer #3 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to your mother about this. You need to consider her feelings on the whols issue. If he is in your life, then he will also be in your mother's life. She may want to leave things the way they are. You really don't have a right to know, this happened before your lifetime and your mother did what she thought was best for her son and herself. First and foremost, find out your mother;'s feelings on the situation.
2006-07-06 17:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to like a private investigators office. by supplying a blood sample they might be able to find your brother. besides "accidentally dating him" it is a good opurtunity to get to know him too. you should take the time to do this because it can have a big impact on your life and his, he probably always wondered "why did my parents or parent give me up?" or "who is my mom and dad?" or "did I do something wrong?" and stuff like that. it'b good for the both of you and could lift some of the burden on his heart about his parents and if he had siblings.
2006-07-06 17:05:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have the right to know. Ask your mother.
Sorry i dont really know a lot about this sort of stuff.
Seems like you already have excellent answers anyways
sorry :-(
2006-07-06 17:14:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you need to confront your mother because more than likely she knows the name of the agency she went through and they will disclose inforamtion to her, depending on their policy. you do have a right to know. if you can find out his real name, you can begin your search. chances are, he knows he was adopted and you never know he might be looking for his birth family! it wouldn't hurt to place ads in newspapers if you know what area he's in.
2006-07-06 17:03:19 · answer #7 · answered by ~it's me~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek out the agency that took him in for adoption, and ask them.
2006-07-06 17:21:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her about her fiancee and ask for your brothers name. just say you wan't to know who your brother is.
2006-07-06 16:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by holygrail Kniggit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋