A very good friend died and no one stepped up to the plate to take care of the funeral. Myself and one other person set it up and split the costs. The Common Law Wife was asked if it was okay and she said yes but is now saying it isn't what the deceased would like and we shouldn't have done it.
2006-07-06 16:21:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It sounds like you did the best you could and definitely over and above what most people would do.
One of the corporal works of mercy is burying the dead.
I think you did much good. Remember the poor lady is grieving.
With love in Christ.
2006-07-06 18:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by imacatholic2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a very solemn task when a person steps in to handle a friends funeral. Death can be very traumatic and is a life changing event for everyone involved. Feelings are raw and tempers are short as loved ones try to deal with death. Keep in mind however, that funerals are for the living. Your friend won't mind if things don't go exactly according to a master plan. Bury your friend, share your sorrow, forgive the widow, and the next day, when the sun comes up, dust yourself off and feel good about having been there when your friend needed your the most.
2006-07-06 16:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by EMT3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should have told you what he would have wanted before the funeral and not after. I think she may have just conned you into pay for the funeral. It easy to pass the buck and then tell someone what a bad job he or she has done. Why didn't she want to get involved in the first place? You certainly have the right to get involved in a friend's funeral. You may have know your friend better than his Common Law Wife.
2006-07-06 16:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she had opinions she should have stepped up! You asked her if it was ok and she consented and didn't choose to participate so where is it any business of hers to fit about it now? You did what you thought was best for your friend and personally any effort that my friends put forth on my behalf would be appreciated even if it wasn't exactly what I would have wanted. Id say no your not out of line in the least!
At this point, it truely is the thought that counts!
2006-07-06 16:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... it's too late for her to be unhappy now.
You did what needed to be done and it didn't cost her a thing. It was noble and I don't think just anyone would have the guts to do something like that. Ignore the wife and work through your grief.. you did the right thing.
2006-07-06 16:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by Sara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she should have stepped up the to plate, then. Good for you for taking initiative. No matter what he would have liked, I'm sure he would have been thankful for friends loyal enough to take up the wife's slack.
2006-07-06 16:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by The Apple Chick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you and your friend have done was perfectly alright, a very christian way. I couldn't think any other reason why anybody, including the common law wife, to complain, to question your motive. You have done a good thing. forget it. God will reward you.
2006-07-06 16:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by Stansky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound noble of you and this other person to undertake the responsibilities that nobody else seemed to want to do.
However, that doesn't mean that EVERYTHING you do on this matter is right. Just keep this in mind other peoples' feelings and do everything in your power to maintain them and if you get criticism, explain how you're doing the best you can, and are open to any suggestions.
I admire your sense of leadership, but I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.
2006-07-06 16:27:34 · answer #8 · answered by ThatGuy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing, and it was good and thoughtful to your deceased friend to do so........what the common law wife thought, can go to thunder, and where was she in all this anyway? Obviously, not there to help or pay.......You made a good and lasting tribute to you friend..... :-)
2006-07-06 16:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by fiddlefix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If noone else was doing anything, and she agreed to it, then you did nothing wrong, unless you didn't clear the specifics with her first. If you ran the plans by her first, then ethically you did the right thing, especially as you paid for it.
If you didn't run the plans by her, she has a right to complain, it would have been the respectful thing to do, even if you did pay for it.
2006-07-06 16:27:11 · answer #10 · answered by Bartmooby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋