how can i get my boyfriend to trust me again?

Question

Him and I were not getting along for a couple of months. It was mainly my fault but for good reasons that he doesn't understand. Anyways we started talking again a few weeks back and i started asking him questions abouy if he had been sexual with somebody else. Which he said no. But I didn't belive him. So one night i was so hyped up and thought i could find out something on his voice mail having to do with some other woman. Our cellsphones are under my name so I called and had his password changed so that i could check it. Stupid me not only did i not find anything i wanted to hear i also hurt him very much and f#$%ed up the trust he had in me. I have never in all the years have went through his stuff or ever checked his messages before. i felt really bad doing that i cried. Even though he says that he has gotten over it. i know that he hasn't and it will be held over my head probably for ever. Even though it's something small that i did it's a pretty big deal to him. i want2betrusted

I never cheated at all on him.

Answer 1

You'll have to find a way to make this up to him. Be very glad and appreciative to him that you didn't find what you were looking for. Men think all women tend to get a little jealous, so that might let you off the hook a little. Tell him the reason you did it was because you love him so much you can't stand the thought of losing him/sharing him etc. He might hang it over your head for a little while so be prepared to eat crow and just smile and say, "I know, I feel so bad/stupid for doing that. I know you would never cheat on me!" He'll get over this, don't worry. He might even be a little flattered that you cared enough to look. Just make sure you don't make a habit of it (or don't get caught LOL).

Answer 2

First you have to apologize to him for your behavior- it only proved you mistrust in yourself and your behavior - you have to be friends and he has to and you have to "have a life with trust" or you have nothing.
Second thing you must give it some time then ask him if he has forgiven you yet. If he says nothing ask again in a month, If he tell you he forgives you for your human behavior "Cry". Because it's been two months. If he say nothing "it's on him"
Now to deal with yourself. You must be young, You most definitely can harm yourself in a love relationship with old baggage, you know, past mistakes. Live in the present not the past or tomorrows. life is now girl and live it.
You must be the same person that you were when your boyfriend meet you, so be that person again.
By the way sounds like your oun guilt made you, check up on him, and he will know it. Could be to late for you- You better go to church and ask God to help you with your trust issues. I know, I am, banging on you, but you really are going to have to fess up, to allot of people on this one- naturalize the the action by tell everyone you were a jealousy masher butt head.
Now for real this is not small you acted like you owned him, checking on him like a mother not a true friend. u have to trust yurself first befor anyone else will- Take a yoge class and invest all that horney young nest making drive into somthing you can be happy with for the short run. Kid we all make love baggage to carrie around. Get over it soon!

Answer 3

Sorry but if you are so insecure that you would go through some else private things then you have a problem with self control and self esteem.

You had to know it was wrong to do-hence the problem with self control.

You must have had some reason to think that he lied to you?
Or you have very little self esteem and think that he lied to you for a reason, either way you need to work on that.

I'd say the only way you will get his trust back it over time, and every time he wants to bring up what you did, you need to own it and not get defensive about it. You did it, so admit to it every time he wants to point it out. Let him know that you are willing to take the blame/fault for that mistake.

Answer 4

I"m a woman and we all have been through this trust thing with our boyfriends where we are insecure or can't trust a man, but let me tell you trust is earned it is not just given he has to earn it and so do you. Alot of people are cheating these days and I know that I would do the same thing, because I do it, but now I stopped, because it drove me crazy. Is that man worth you loosing your mind? Have you heard of women's tuition? Sista, let me tell you if he makes that what you did a big deal then guess what?
He is cheating

Answer 5

I don't think it will go away any time soon. I feel bad for you because if it's the first time it's happened, he will deffinitely be hurting. Make it up to him. Try a boy's night. When it's superbowl season, have like this huge thing for him and the boys...or during his birthday. Something that is solely for him and his enjoyment. Maybe a mad sexual night with you. Make yourself agreeable and available for him. Try and talk about it with him. Maybe if you ask him to tell you exactly what his feelings are, he might want to talk about it.

You won't know until you try.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

Your first mistake is having the cell phones under your name. There is no way to get over what happened. It will always be there. Move on with your life. Find someone else. And don't do the same mistakes.

Answer 7

There's not a certain amount of time or one specific thing you can do to make your man trust you again. Start acting trustworthy and don't give him anymore reasons not to trust you. When he's ready, he'll start trusting you again. I will warn you that it takes allot longer to gain the trust of another after you have caused them to loose it.

Answer 8

I feel for ya kid...I know all about that trust issue.

Just tell him that you couldnt bear to think that he might have been with someone else...and that you stayed away from other guys and you just had to know that he was too.

If he doesnt understand that...well then maybe you need to move on.

Answer 9

only time will heal it. but i am sure he loves u and is used to u and ur mood swings. i mean i flip out on my husband all the time for reasons he does not understands. u know us women can be hormonal at times. he should look at the bright side at least u care enough to check up on him.

Answer 10

sounds like to me you need to forgive yourself first;if not you will hold this over your own head until you do. It also sounds like your boyfriend is very trust worthy as far as i hear he hasn't done anything wronge yet;you just made a mastake he is over it now you need to get over it