My childrens father and I have been living together for 21 years some good some bad. We have not been a real couple for the last 12yrs. But we stayed living in the house for the children so they would have both parents. Not putting aside that all of the children are handicap in some way. Also not putting aside I have been getting sicker for the last few years.
He has had at least 4 affairs that I know of and he has had them around our house with the children. But he feels that I should not have anything to do with another man. But it is hard because I am tired of being alone and not having someone there the way I want them to be.
Am I wrong to feel this way?
2006-07-06 16:09:24 · 7 answers · asked by mistyjlr 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hell no!! Make it clear that he can't have his cake and eat it too.
If he sees other women and parades them around the children
then you are allowed to see other men. Also kicks him in the nads
and remind him who's the boss.
2006-07-06 16:14:06 · answer #1 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're questioning yourself when your husband is the hypocrite? What kind of message is he sending to your children?
However untenable the situation is, the answer is not for you to have an affair. Clearly the priority here is the well-being of the children. The answer here is to start with marriage counselling. If your husband won't go, then go without him. If not to figure out how to mend the relationship, then to figure out how to get out of it safely and protecting the children's best interests at the same time. Ask your doctor to recommend a counselor, or call your insurance company to have them recommend one closeby. While you're talking to your doctor, discuss therapy options for depression as well.
PS: I may be seeing daggers where there are none, but you may consider visiting http://ndvh.org -- OK so I'm probably wrong and I'm just paranoid but when I see a line like "he feels that I should not have anything to do with another man" a voice in my head screams "warning warning". Your marriage counselor should also be able to help you along these lines -- if it is true. I sincerely hope it's not. I would love to be wrong here.
Good luck, God bless.
2006-07-06 16:23:48 · answer #2 · answered by agentdenim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this relationship. If your husband loved you for who you are and not what you are, then he would be a real man and stay there and take care of you and your children. I lived with my ex for 11 years and durign the last 2years, he got to where he did not want anything to do with me, and he became very abusive towards me and the childrne, so I left. This is what you need to do, pack you and your babies up and leave him. There is a better person out there that can provide the love that you and your children need and deserve. Go for it. I did and I am happier than I was in the past 11.5 years.
2006-07-13 14:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's been playing you along all this time. He's a control freak and in addition to being unfaithful to you, he is abusing you emotionally. He's being a hypocrite.
He most certainly should not be having affairs in front of your children. Dump him as soon as possible if he won't agree to change his ways.
You're not wrong to feel that way at all. Tell him to smarten up or move on.
2006-07-06 16:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by fiddlesticks9 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not wrong! you need to make a change and not stay with him because of the children. he is an inconsiderate jerk and you are way better off without him. if you have nowhere to go you can go to a shelter until you can get your head together.
2006-07-06 17:36:37 · answer #5 · answered by nenarmz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but he is not faithful to you, why should you keep yourself for him only, tell him what is good for the goose is good for the gander (in other words, if he can have affairs than so can you!!!)
2006-07-06 23:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste anymore years on the cheater. You can do better than him.
2006-07-06 17:17:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋