I am in a relationship yet I still "check out" other men, watch porn, read erotica and I have caught myself flirting a few times with other men. To me this is all innocent because I know I would never cheat on my boyfriend. Also, I am respectful enough not to do these things in front of my boyfriend. But when I catch him "checking out" other girls, or looking at porn it makes me extremely uncomfortable. He swears that he would never cheat on me, but these actions still make me feel like I am not woman enough to satisfy all his needs and that he must go elsewhere to meet them. Why do I feel this way even though I (secretly) do the same things?
2006-07-06 16:08:57 · 14 answers · asked by PHD-NDN 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If my man is looking at females and checking them out, it's okay as long as he's not with me, bcuz i do it when he's not around as well. I hate it! It's very disrespectful. My boyfriend denies that he has done it every time i tell him he just did and it makes me very angry and i end up feeling the way u do. Its just the way Men and Women are. We're way more emotional and sensitive than they are, it's just in our nature.
2006-07-06 16:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely a double standard. Your question is hard to answer. You recognize that you are doing what your boyfried is doing, however you do it privately and not in front of him. He, you state, does it openly in front of you. Hmmmmmmm... how to handle. Tough.
My suggestion would be to take a deeper look at "why" you feel extremely uncomfortable with it. Is it because you feel guilty that you are doing it too? Is it because you experience feelings of fantasy when you do and wonder does he too?
Talk to your boyfried about it - honestly! If you have a strong relationship you'll both be able to work through it. And who knows, you may find a way to read and watch erotica together and find new heights together. You never know.
Good Luck.
2006-07-06 23:13:51 · answer #2 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's because you feel guilty for doing the same things. Either come out in the open about what you're doing so that you and your boyfriend can learn to be comfortable with each other's habits, or even better - Stop doing these things. You know it would hurt him that you're doing this, just as it hurts you when he is checking out other girls or looking at pornography.
Bottom line - There is no double-standard. What you're doing is unfair and hurtful.
2006-07-06 23:14:15 · answer #3 · answered by fruitnroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The standards are just that "standards" for reasons. Most men are the ones that cheat. So women are the ones always on guard from those things that can happen after harmless flirting.
Women are attracted to men for different reasons than men to women. Ladies tend to become attached differently and find somethings to be really big deals and men wont even remember them.
2006-07-06 23:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by texricki26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you flirt with other men then you have nothing to complain about. I don't buy that you wouldn't cheat on him.You women are no saints either. When you flirt with other men, it's to see if there's any greener pastures out there. If you two broke up, i guarantee you'd have a date so quick his head would spin.
2006-07-06 23:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by Jon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be your jealous, or controlling, alot of guys are the same way, even if they dont admit to it, if he were going to cheat on you he would do all this secretively without your knowledge, if you dont wanthim to watch porn watch it with him make it a couple thing, you really feel it being an issue discuss everything with him, regarding he you and your relationship.
2006-07-06 23:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by Quasar1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you want your cake and eat it too. i know... cliche. however.. you reap what you sow. stop.. flirting and treat him the way you want to be treated..and just maybe things will change. you should also ask yourself.. why the need for all this flirting and porn when you have a man. are we not satisfied? stop living by this do as i expect..not as i do..motto..
2006-07-06 23:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust him, if he really loves you he will NEVER cheat on you, and you must stop before someone gets upset or hurt, you can also tell him how you feel.
2006-07-06 23:13:06 · answer #8 · answered by Angel E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you are insecure about the way he feels for you, yet you are confident you would never cheat on him. the annoying thing is you're allowed to feel this way because you're a girl. men aren't allowed to feel this way....because it means they are too controlling.
2006-07-06 23:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by markwett 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you have a guilty conscious or is it that you are insecure with yourself? Either way it is normal to be jealous. You want to be the onlyl thing he ever looks at
2006-07-06 23:12:31 · answer #10 · answered by girlnextdoor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋