How to have a sense of security?

Question

I tried very hard to trust my partner but somehow i do not have a sense of sec urity..what can i do?

Answer 1

You must first need to look at WHY you have a lack of security!

Have you had really bad relationships in the past? Have you been cheated on before? Have you been dumped for no reason? Have you been abused?

If the answer is "yes" to any of my questions or any other question (about your past relations) then, this is probably the reason why!

That be the case, then don't be afraid to seek counseling - perhaps your (supportive) partner could join you!

If the answer is "no" and you've had nothing but great relations, then first I'd like to congratulate you on much success! : )

Second, If you've had good relations and no bad past with people, then stop to think WHY you don't trust your partner.

Is it b/c you suspect cheating? Do you find this person gawking at others in a seductive way? Has this partner made comments to you about other "lookers"? Does he/she have a past that sets uneasy with you? Have you heard rumors about him/her?

If the answer is "yes" to any of these, then you need to be open and communicate with your partner and tell him/her how you feel. The reaction you get could say a lot.

Communication is THE most important thing in a relationship!!!!! I can't stress that enough. If you don't have that, you have nothing! If your partner fails to want to communicate about your issues, THAT will be your answer. This will tell you your partner is non-supportive and doesn't really care about you or your feelings!

So, if you get to the root of why you feel insecure, then you'll be able to solve your problem, most likely!

I hope this helps! GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 2

Has your partner done something in the past which has made you loose your sense of security with him/her? If so, talk to them about and learn to get over it if you want to be with them. Only relationships with trust end up working out. If your partner has not did anything to make you loose your sense of security and it was someone from a past relationship, you need to realize that you are not with the former person anymore and that everyone is different. Don't punish someone for someone else's mistakes. Let go of the past or you won't have a future with this person.

Answer 3

Did your partner flirt around with others when in relationship with you? Or you hav a failed relationship before that makes you find it diffcult to trust others?

Sense of security takes time to build and can be destroy easily. If you can't trust your partner, think the relationship will not last long as you will be very suspicious of the things he do.

Answer 4

you've tried but not done it?

ask yourself what that makes you distrust him? there must be a reason and work on that. and its the things that he does that makes you so, have a talk with him. talking is the best way to solve as it gets to the bottom of things. it may hurt but its the best than keeping to yourself and the mind goes wandering?

trust is something to be earned not demanded. you've to give some to start with and build it up that way.

learn to relax and fear not fear itself. tell yourself that certain things can't be controlled and lets leave it to time but being prepared mentally is the best defence.

as you said it sense " you got to make it to feel it?

Answer 5

trust is something that they have to gain and it takes longer for some people to gain it. Just don't lower your expectations of trust

Answer 6

It's hard to get trust if it was never there.