Background: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year &things have been awesome. We get along great and are best friends. He always calls me w/in 15 mins of when I get off work EVERY day.
Problem: Today he called > an hour after I was done & told me that, since he had had the worst day ever at work, he was sitting at a bar. He said he didn't want to see me b/c "it'd start a fight." He said he wanted to be alone but that he just wanted to let me know where he was and that was the reason for his call.
The thing is, I'm not the type of girlfriend to argue over stupid things with my boyfriend and we rarely ever fight. He didn't want me around to talk to or complain to or anything today. This bothers me because when I have a bad day, I want to see him. I expect him to be able to come to me for comfort, support, distraction, whatever - I'm his girlfriend & I'm here to be there for him. That's why I'm upset, b/c, unlike usual, he didn't want me around.
What's going on?
2006-07-06 16:00:27 · 15 answers · asked by krd12 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When guys are ticked off, stressed out, or frustrated, they need to kind of back away from everybody and do whatever it is that helps them unwind. I personally like to play video games if I'm in a bad mood. After about 45 minutes, I feel like a new man and have worked things out. Some psychologists refer to men as cavemen and refer to this as 'going back to the cave'.
As you mentioned, you like to talk about your problems and have support and comfort from somebody. You want to talk about the problem. For men, talking about the problem only sustains the problem and keeps the problem buzzing in their heads. They'd rather avoid talking about the situation. If they aren't talking about it or thinking about it, it's not bothering them. I know...it's a form of avoidance.
I wouldn't worry about your guy. Sounds normal to me. The best thing you can do is give him his space and let him burn off some steam and come home to you in a better mood. Don't over question him or it will just bring back the stress factor of whatever problem it was. If he wants to talk about it, he will.
2006-07-06 16:09:23 · answer #1 · answered by BAM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a girl (I cheated and read anyway, stupid curiosity). I'm like you... when I'm upset, I want to be around my significant other because it makes me feel better. One of my ex-boyfriends was the exact opposite. When he had a bad day, he wanted to be away from everyone. He just needed some time to himself to chill, and then he was great again. Since things have been so awesome for you two, I'd say he just wanted to stew by himself for a bit and try not to worry about it.
2006-07-06 23:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by writingnerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a guy. When guys have a bad day, the LAST thing they want to do is get comfort, support, distraction, whatever from anyone....even more so his girlfreind. A typical guy will just want to be left alone and mull it over. Guys are not all open and talking, that's what women do....
2006-07-06 23:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the history is as wonderful as you say it is, then relax. He's never given you a reason not to trust him before.
Everybody recovers from bad experiences differently. He'll come around and open up to you in time. He just needs to go over things in his mind first. Be patient.
2006-07-06 23:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhhmmm well, if your talking is anything like your long winded question, I could see why he'd want to be alone. Just the fact ma'am. Get over it! He's getting sloshed with the boys or he's poking some chick in the whiskers. Good luck to ya!
2006-07-06 23:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by ndvsne1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This dude sounds just like me. I'm 26yrs old and married and have two kids and been married for 6 yrs. Now i do this cause this is the way i deal with my stuff thats happing to me. For me its easier just to sit and relax and for get about it. My advise is when hes done having a bad day just let him know that your there for him when ever he wants to talk.
2006-07-06 23:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by nsaenz2129 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL....he has discovered his cave. Honor it, respect it, deal with it...just don't try to redecorate it or let in sunshine and fresh air.
Trust me sweetie this is fine...hey, he called you and told you where he was, right? He sounds to me like a caring sweet guy. He'll come out eventually and love you just a little bit more for waiting so patiently outside the door for him.
2006-07-06 23:05:11 · answer #7 · answered by cooperslassie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be upset. All guys I know need time like this. Women may rarely understand but you need to let him do this. Do not feel jealoous or give him a difficult time. Just understand and he will be greatful.
2006-07-06 23:05:09 · answer #8 · answered by Texas Cowboy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys need time away sometimes to think things over. Be supportive and there when he does need to talk. try not to force his problem out of him.
2006-07-06 23:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it, believe me there are times even we guy's get in a really depressed mood and just want to be alone to think about it, that doesn't mean we don't care. give him time, he'll come around.
2006-07-06 23:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by michael o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋