my mom wont let me date until im 18 what should ido i cant even have guy friends or talk on the phone w/ boys?

Question

IM 15!!! ITS NOT FAIR ALL MY OTHER FRIENDS HAVE BOYFRIENDS BUT SHE SAYS "THEY'LL ALL BE PREGNANT SOO TOO."

she got married and pregnant @ 17

Answer 1

I would say that as long as you live under their roof, then you have to follow their rules. Look, you have your whole life ahead of you, and later on, you will thank them for keeping you away for dating for now, because honestly, guys of that age are inconsiderate jerks who are after only one thing usually, and they are sparing you a lot of heartaches.

Answer 2

Perhaps your mom had a bad experience when she was a teen. She probably thinks she's doing the right thing for you. She loves you and wants to protect you.

I think it's normal for a 15 year old girl to want to date. Though I would suggest group activities rather than just you and a boy going on a date. Then when you are 16 I would probably let you start dating, but you'd have limits about where, when, how late, etc. I'd have to meet the boy. He'd have to come to the door to get you. No sitting out front in his car honking the horn.

Your mom may end up with a situation that's much worse if she doesn't loosen the reins a bit. Ask her how she'd feel if you participated in group activities. Perhaps your church has a youth group. Then when she sees she can trust you to behave accordingly and you are a bit older you could start dating, after she meets the boy and gets to know him. Try to compromise with her. If the 2 of you can't compromise you could end up in a war with each other than no one will win. Try to see things through your mom's eyes. She wants her little girl to have a good life. Graduate from high school and go to college before she gets married and settles down. Show her how mature you are by discussing these things with her. God bless!

Answer 3

Well, I can understand why. Unfortunately, still I think it's unreasonable. Maybe if you are open and honest with her, she will give you some leeway. You need to let her know that you can be trusted. If you are interested in a boy, ask her if she will let you go with on a date with a chaperone, maybe if you have an older sibling or a cousin , or relative. Let her know that you can be trusted, and if she's worried about you having sex with boys , maybe you can make a "contract", between you and your parents that you promise to abide by certain rules, like curfews and having a chaperone on dates until you turn 18. I know this will suck for a while , and maybe a lot of boys won't go through the hassle, but I think if a boy really likes you, they'll abide by the rules too.

She needs to give you some freedom, if you tell her of other kids whose parents are strict, let her know that they go behind their parents back, and you don't want to do that, it's better to be up front about things than try to hide them, because in the end, it will just make things worse not just for you but it's hard on mom's too. I know because I went through kinda the same thing as you.

Answer 4

I didn't date till I was 16 and then it was only in groups of 4 or more. Your mom is a wise woman and I would listen to her. You don't want to have the regrets most of us have. Give your mom some slack...if it helps though ask her if you would be able to go on group dates (2 or more couples) and forget dinner and a movie do something fun like play a game (uno, tag, hide and seek) They really keep things interesting. YOU DON'T NEED A BOYFRIEND!!!!! get some good friends to hang out with it is better for your mental state (obsessing over boys) If you lie to your mother and go behind her back you will break a trust that you will long for as you get older. It takes YEARS to build trust and only seconds to destroy it.

Answer 5

i don't know why you're complaining all she's doin' is saving you a few years of heartache and having to put up with boys cheating on you...you should be grateful...concentrate on your school work then after you have some brains you can find a good quality guy to be with and you'll be smart enough to thank your mom. and just because all your other friends have boyfriends and are destroying their purity is no excuse for you to do the same thing!!! if all you other friends were jumping off a bridge would you want to do that too??? be your own person break the mold and listen to your mother.

Answer 6

Even though there is a generation gap between mother and daughter. I suggest you take heed and listen to mama. She has been there and know the real deal.
You do not see it now. I guarantee, you will thank mama 20-25 years from now for being a strict disciplinarian.
My experience at 16, was very similar to yours. Amazingly, x amount of years later, I never thought I would say 'I love you dad'! Approximately 16 hours later, pop passed. I think about it everyday, that I should of said it sooner,etc...

Answer 7

The same thing that the rest of us had to do when were that age.
Attend school funtions where you all get together and see them there. Talk to them at school. Ask your parents first, invite them to dinner at your house. If you do the "I'm going to a girlfriends house" (which is what I did) and me and my girlfriend met our guyfriends at a meeting point. Then be decent enough not to do anything which will make you become a "p a r e n t ." The movies dont lie the minute a girl become pregnant the guy tells her bye!

Answer 8

Your mom loves you....

nevertheless, i think that she might be a little too overprotective over you. What you can do in the short run:

talk to your mom and tell her that even though you are not 18, you are ready to have guys as your friends... maybe not boyfriends, but just good friends. Also, show her that you are responsible in maintaining your relationships (be it romantic or not).

Let her know that if she really loves you, she should start trusting you as a teenager, as a semi-adult. Because before long, you are supposed to take care of yourself in the adult world, so tell her to supervise you but not control you, so that it also would be good training for your future adulthood

what you can do in the long run:

do not be over-possesive with your younger sibling (if any) or your children... because abuses such as these often gets transffered from one generation to the next. Understand that they would feel as much pain as you did if you are to protective over them to the point of limiting and hindering their freedom.

Be patient too =)

all the best to you and God bless

Answer 9

I didn't go on my first date til I was 18...I felt like a fool.

Looking back though if I'd been allowed to date sooner I prob. would have made choices that I may have regretted sooner than what I did...

When you do turn 18 please don't go buck wild to make up for lost time...You will regret it if you do...I did some dumb things after high school...

Respect yourself...right now if i could do high school over again-I'd make as many friends as you can with everyone you meet (They may be the one that decides if you get hired for that important job you really want one day!)

Childhood passes soooo quickly don't rush it. You'll find someone one day, don't be in a big hurry because you may settle down too quick just to get out of the house or to spite your mom...

Take care of yourself & enjoy your teen years...

Answer 10

Some parants are like this, and it is very hard to change their minds. Since i dont personaly know your mother, I cannot give you any concrete advice. I would say that mainly it is important to show your mother that you are a responsible girl that is not going to get herself into trouble. Once your mom sees this, she might reconsider letting you date earlier on. Seriously talking though, if she is still not letting you do it, it's not as hard as you might think to get away with it withought her knowing. There are many ways, like tell her you are going out with a girl friend, or tell her you are going to a sleep over. There is no way she can find out, if you are carefull.

Answer 11

my mom say when I am 13 I can talk on the phone and 16 I can go out but I still talk some time. How old r u now? My best friend is a boy.Just talk 2 her.