Should I tell my fiance that I used to be a man?

Question

We will be married soon. His parents and mine have spent several thousands on the wedding. We have a house being built. Maybe I am just nervous and should let things be as they are. PLEASE HELP IN MY DILEMA!!????????????????????

I am still a virgin to him as far as he knows.

Answer 1

son THAT is medicaid's version of a sex change?

Answer 2

HMM this is a tough one. My fiance and I are getting married at the end of July, I've told him everything from my past to up until we frist started dating, I totally belive Honesty is the best Policy. An in turn my finace has told me everything from his past to now. He reviled he was still doing drugs up until we got serious and stopped when we got engaged, I know he's been clean for so long, cause he cant lie to me for any reason. He knows how I feel about drugs, and I didn't get mad, was I a lil hurt yes but BUT I didn't leave him. I love him with all my heart and I love him more for being honest with me.
Telling him could be a life altering dicison. This is not an easy thing to tell someone. Granted I was born a woman and I will always be one, you however where born a man, and changed to a woman. I wish you luck, I would tell him I if I where you, and he if calls the wedding off then he really didn't love you to begin with. True Love previels ALL
GOOD LUCK HON

Answer 3

I totally agree with rune. I had this problem with an ex of mine before. He claimed he loved me but when he found out something about me he was totally cold towards me. If he loves you then he should just let it go. On the other hand that is big news for a man to take. He could feel as if you are lying to him. How soon are you two going to be married? If it is 6 months or more then tell him. That will still give you enough time to get all your money back in case he does break it off.

Answer 4

Honesty is always needed in a relationship...u must be a really good looking woman to pull the male aspect off, or maybe your man is just stupid. Im not going to be rude, but how would u feel if this was a reverse situation.....you need to put two heads together and explain this ASAP...because you will be in one big dilema if you don't

Answer 5

Honey I really sympathize with you...so here is my solution to your angst.....

You need to get your hands on some more $$$ fast and go and get an operation done down there..cut it off and your hubby to be won't feel a thing ;-) also find a good plastic surgeon for your face...you do want to look your best on your wedding day right?

What every you do honey DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT let him upgrade his prescription for his glasses. Not top mention god forbid get a hearing aid...then you really are in trouble!

Oh and yeah on the wedding night...tell him your nervous and scared and too tense to make love to him...Unless he can do you through the back door...say you heard that is the easiest position to start off with for *cough* first timers.

If all fails..just make your you have a team of body guards on stand by for your safety. Good luck! :D

Answer 6

TELL HIM ASAP! He is marrying you under a lie....so he has the right to know the truth so that he can make an informed decision. Lies like this always find a way to come out. And image just how 'jerry springer' it would be if he found out 5 years from now. How are you going to explain not having kids?? starting out a marriage with such dishonesty is a super bad idea. tell him, even if it means that he will leave you, it should be his choice. good luck!

Answer 7

Just because your a MTF does not mean he wont love you if you tell him. I do agree with some of the other answers that you should have told him long ago BUT.......think about this.....is there anyone from your past who might say something to him thinking he already knows ? and yes, what about the question of children, have ya'll talked about it and does he want kids ? granted there are plenty of natural women who can't concieve because of medical reasons and the option of adoption is there. Is he open minded...is he homophobic...do ya'll have any gay or transgenered friends and how does he act around them ? all of these things would be good clues about how he is. But in the end it all comes down to you @ him.....do you think he would leave you if you told him now ? But on the other hand, you dont want to have to spend the rest of your life worrying about someone saying something to him bt accident. If he truly loves you he will stay.....even if he needs time to himself to ajust to what you tell him. I think that would be a HUGE shock to anyone to find out and it may take him awhile to come to terms with it but if he loves you things will work out. Better for you to say something now than after the wedding when he would think you tricked him into marriage. Think about if you were in his shoes. Wouldn't you want to know before hand ? Good luck and have faith !

Answer 8

Yes, if you truly care about him, tell him.
He has every right to know all about you & what he's getting into.
It's not being fair to him or honest with him. Suppose you marry him & then he finds out, then divorces you because of it, or divorces you because you kept an important truth hidden?
What would be the point in marrying in the first place, if it just ends up in a divorce?
This isn't an attack or criticism>>> sparing your own feelings (by not telling him), is being selfish... it's not being considerate of him & what he may or may not want.
If you start a relationship out, based on dishonesty, it can be disasterous.

Answer 9

Oh sweetie you never want to start a marriage out with a lie. If he loves you then he will accept who you are. Your out side was changed but who you are inside is still the same, that should be what he love anyways is the inner you. It might take him some time to come around but that would be better then him thinking you betrayed him by keeping something so major form him. If he doesn't accept you the way you are the baby he don't deserve you, and there is someone out their that will accept you for who you are. They will love your inner beauty as well as your outer beauty. Good luck it isn't going to be easy for you so keep your friends close and lean on them and your family and if I can help you can email me @ [e-mail] or [e-mail]

Answer 10

This is going to be tricky .It sounds like you have not been honest in your relationship from the start,not that this is an easy subject to tell someone,that you are not a woman.wow!!! hm....he may be okay with this sexual change of yours but might get upset that you wern't honest.,youve presented yourself as someone else although you probably i assume feel like a woman inside. i wouldnt of let it get that far in the relationship,There are plenty of people that are open to these types of relationships and you should of found that out before you were so involved,i would of been nervous being with him from the beginning knowing he thinks you were born as a female .It's a risk you are taking either way.Ask yourself if you can go on in the relationship not being honest

Answer 11

You should be honest with him. If he really loves you, he will understand. He won't feel comfortable, but he'll get over it. You gotta tell him your feelings, you don't feel comfortable too with that situation. Tell him that you didn't know if you should tell him, you were afraid of his reaction, but you had to be honest with him. It's a very serious matter and you should tell him sooner, it's not fear to him or to you. He gotta love you the way you are the way you love him!!! If he doesn't understand is because he's not comprehensive at all. Anyway, it's better for him to know it from you now, then too late from a paper. Think well.