Often people have said:
You will burn in hell if you don’t have children.
You are a male chauvinist.
No woman will ever date you.
You will regret that choice.
Often I find that I am the subject of gossip when it comes to this issue.
2006-07-06 12:28:59 · 27 answers · asked by Marvin 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Some of you added a tiny bit of humor to your answers. I appreciate that!
Thank you;
2006-07-07 03:30:37 · update #1
Disclaimer: I'm a father of two teenage boys.
To respond to your question, I can only guess that somehow others are assigning or impugning motives behind your declaration. For instance, some might think your reason for not desiring children has to do with selfishness or not wanting to sacrifice for them. I'm not saying that's correct, but just guessing based upon the nature of the accusations you cite.
In addition, the response about no woman wanting to date you says more about their assumptions of what women want than anything else, in my opinion.
As far as "you will regret that choice", I'm not qualified to guess as I'm really, really happy with my decision to have kids, and I'm in no position to just tell you, "they're right" or similar.
I'm sorry you get this, I would think the only reasonable response to you should be "Tell me why you don't want to have children?" rather than to assume the worst and attack.
2006-07-06 12:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by Timothy W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live, or what kind of people you associate with, but that's downright wrong. If a woman has the right to choose, then so does a man - it's that simple.
Gossip? Why should the neighborhood gossips even be interested in your personal business? Unless you have done something to make it their business.
Guess what - some women also don't want to have children in the world being the way it is (wars, overpopulation, etc).
2006-07-06 19:34:06 · answer #2 · answered by Terri C. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because you hit too close to their own weakness/ insecurities. Petty jealousy, etc. As for regretting that choice, heck look at the number of families that are estranged! What small minded fools!
As long as you are upfront in your relationships - no harm no foul.
I applaud you for not caving in to the "peer" pressure.
Personally, I totally respect someone who knows they do not want to have children. Far too many people are bringing children into this world because of peer or parental pressure. Certainly not a good reason to bring a living soul into this world is it? Not like we have a shortage of people
I have children, do I regret it? NO Do I feel that someone who does not wants kids is "less than me" again NO. Do I feel a little jealous when I see my childless friends heading off to Europe for the summer or buying that cool new car, yeah a little.
Can I imagine not coaching soccer or little league - no way! I truly enjoy working with the kids!
I made different choices that work for me - just as you have made different choices. Not right, not wrong, just different.
What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. Ignore those who are so judgmental - they are not worth your time.
2006-07-06 19:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by justsaynotogrumps 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what they think. At least you are up front about it. Find a woman who feels the same way, but don't look among women in their 20s. They may not want a child at this point in life, but they may want one later. Women in their late 30s and early 40s are probably serious when they say they don't want a child.
Also, some people might feel you are insulting their children when you say you don't want a child. They may think you are annoyed by children and that makes them angry because you were a child at one point and so they feel it is unfair for you to think they are a nuisance. Maybe if you explain that you just don't think you have what it takes to be a good parent, they will feel you are humble, and everyone likes a humble person.
2006-07-06 19:39:50 · answer #4 · answered by tianjingabi 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to have children (just make sure that any future partner or spouse you might have feels the same way...)
If these people are attacking you for your feelings then they are out of line (and as far as burning in hell - that's stupid - how many of the 12 disciples had children for petes sake!)
Now, this is assuming you are simply saying that it's a personal choice, and while you respect those who choose to have children, it's not for you.
If you are saying you don't want children because "_____--" and you proceed to attack, insult, patronize, mock, or in any other way degrade those who choose to have children, then maybe their response is less a matter of attacking your views, but defending their own - in which case, frankly, if you want to respect your (to them, alien) views, then you must be respectful of their (to you, alien) views.
Both the childless by choice and parents need to remember that it takes all kinds.
2006-07-06 20:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by seasailorwife 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son's second grade teacher was a woman who chose not to have children and was appalled when I told her I was pregnant.... until she realized it was a good thing! The choice to have or not have a child is a very personal and selfless decision. If you have made the decision to not have have children, that is VERY selfless! Why would you want to bring a child in to the world that you did not feel you can give 100% to? Good for you for letting people know where you stand. You might consider a vasectomy to insure that this doesn't happen. Accidents do happen plus women have been known to lie and trick men. Stand by your convictions and send those other people home to their children. Just make sure that if you pick someone to marry that they share your opinion about children.
2006-07-06 20:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by stewbdoosmrs 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't see why other people should have a problem with this. For starters, it's a very personal decision that in no way affects anyone outside of your family. There are women out there that don't want children, either. Rather than abusing you, they should commend your decision as a very wise one. The world is rapidly getting over populated.
2006-07-06 19:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by wires 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because they do not have any class and are rude. I am in the same position. I have always said that I never want children. The most common response I get is that I should just wait and see because I will change my mind as I get older. Those people are wrong and they should learn to mind their own business. I think you need to just stick to what you feel and if they respond rudely tell them so.
2006-07-06 19:34:00 · answer #8 · answered by unusualpsycho 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because they just think its the natural order of things...You grow up, Get married, start popping out babies.I think its very Mature that you know what you want and stick to it.There are plenty of women who dont want kids you shouldnt have problems there.Let them gossip It gives someone else a break when they talk about you..I have three kids who I love dearly but looking back life would have been so much easier childless!
2006-07-06 19:37:58 · answer #9 · answered by roxie_29812 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey that's your decision, no one has the right to criticize you. A lot of people choose not to have children and their lives turn out fine. It's not a law that you have to have kids. Don't worry about what others think, I know A LOT of people that have children that shouldn't have. At least you have enough sense not to bring unwanted children into this world. :) good luck
2006-07-06 19:33:52 · answer #10 · answered by Backwoods Barbie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋