My new 14 month old adopted little sister has this great personality, smile, and laugh, but she has this birth mark on her left eye. Many people like her laugh, smile and personality, but they notice her birthmark most. I know one person who asked about her birthmark like this, "What is that on her face?". Do you see how that person asked? I wanted to smack that person right across the face for asking so rude. I didn't though. I glared at that person and said in a mean tone, "THAT is a birthmark.". I then picked Lana up and walked away. I was sooo mad at that person. Can I be calm when they ask soo rudely?
2006-07-06 11:51:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Get used to it. Just wait for someone to call child services because they think she has been hurt. Help your little sister by not taking the rudeness to heart and arm her with strategies.
Hmm, oh it's just a birthmark? Help her to be nonchalant about it.
Perhaps you can look at it as an Educational moment. You have the opportunity to teach someone about birthmarks.
2006-07-06 11:57:11 · answer #1 · answered by Robsthings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that the best way to stay calm is to think of what you are going to say to them, right now. Come up with a reply and use it each time. You will come out as a calm person and them the rude, insensitive ones. Also there is another quote on this page, that has you answer the question with a question, which puts the rude person on the spot and makes them explain, why they are asking in the first place...
"When asked a rude question I fall back on Dear Abby's advice, replying, 'Now, why would you ask me that?' followed by a long silence. Why should you be the one feeling awkward at a rude question about your baby?"
— Rachel's Mommy
This is from a source on adopted children, and although it is not directly related to what you are asking, it does provide a good point.
"Also, my advice is to remember that the only feelings you should consider when people ask rude questions are those of your children. They need to know that they aren't the poster children for all things related to.."
2006-07-06 19:02:24 · answer #2 · answered by bluebird60406 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people don't realize how rudely they come across. You could easily just ask in a polite way "what is that on your face" "Oh, I'm sorry you must normally just look like that."
Or you can just take a deep breath and answer in a polite way. Most people only realize how rude they are when the response is given to them in a polite way. This will also show your new sister indifference. Not caring that people are rude. That you are the better person. Help her to grow into a much nicer, polite, considerate young woman. Take the high road and learn to not care.
2006-07-06 18:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by vancie121 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it must be hard when people are so ignorant, people always stare at someone who looks different. Take a deep breath and calmly explain that it is a birthmark. You could research on the net why it happens and tell them, then they will be educated and perhaps not make rude comments in the future.
2006-07-07 06:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know people are going to ask you about it, it's human nature and everybody's curious. So knowing this ahead of time, just calm yourself down beforehand and be aware you may be asked. Don't react hotly or be rude back, simply say, "It's a birthmark - amazing to see one there, isn't it?" This way, you're not getting defensive, your baby sister will be fine, and pretty soon the whole situation will defuse itself. But yes, basically, people are rude. Hopefully, they just won't ask.
2006-07-06 20:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are good, I would have a hard time being nice, you can reply and say it is a birthmark. Man, I would just want to say some really nasty things, it hurts not to type all of these bad things I am thinking.
Good Luck, you are lucky to have a little sister and she is lucky to have a big sister like you.
2006-07-06 18:58:43 · answer #6 · answered by starting over 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are too sensitive. Maybe he/she didn't mean it that way and wasn't rude at all, but since you are sensitive about the birthmark, all you can think of is that what other people are doing is looking at your sister's birthmark and wondering what it is in a rude way. Don't be sensitive and you'll be much more calmer.
2006-07-06 18:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by Nazanin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really get so mad just because people ask a question. It's a sensitive subject, yeah. Just explain what it is, because all it really is is a birthmark, not some demormity, and people want to know - nothing be to ashamed of.
2006-07-06 18:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by Charles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look honey,
There's a lot of idiots in the world. Are you going to get p/o'd everytime one of them asks about your sisters birthmark? Also you're teaching HER to be upset or embarassed about it.
The thing to do is RISE ABOVE the idiots, smile and say what you said before. I know you love sis, so teach her she is much more than any mark on her eye, teach her how to have CLASS.
THAT'S what big sisters are for...
2006-07-06 19:00:20 · answer #9 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it can be tough when people do that. I think they are just curious, and don't really mean to be rude. You should snaile and reply, oh that's Lana's birthmark. It's what makes her so special.
2006-07-06 21:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋