What to do about a co-worker who makes sexual comments out loud (or to someone) read more?

Question

There is a man in my office who talks about someone, a woman, not sure who exactly he is talking about, but he is in his office, but loud, and others can hear him, including me. His voice carries, and people overhear him saying things about masturbation, private parts (in so many words), and other offensive comments. This man is a boss. What would you do?

To all of the people telling me to "mind my own business" or "lighten up" - "concentrate more on my work than on what he is saying" - you're dead wrong. If its so loud that I can hear it, then he MAKES it my business, and everyone else's business in the office. If he wants to have that type of conversation, he should either save it for home, or take his cell phone outside, or in his car. That is not appropriate for the office, it makes me (and others) uncomfortable, and it's very distracting. BTW Traci - I do my work, very well I might add. Maybe you should MYOB.

Answer 1

If the person making the sexual comments is offending you, he is committing sexual harassment, which is illegal.

He doesn't have to be making the comments directly to you -- or to be hitting on you -- to be guilty of sexual harassment.

Talking like that in the workplace creates what's called a "hostile environment" and it's against federal sexual discrimination law.

If he's a boss, he should know this.

First, however, he needs to know that you find the comments unwelcome. So your first step should be to tell him -- quietly, politely, and privately -- that you find his comments offensive and do not wish to hear him make them. If that doesn't work, tell his boss. And if that doesn't work, tell his boss's boss.

If you're uncomfortable confronting him directly, talk to his boss first -- or to your company's human resources department.

For more information, see the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission Web site at http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/fs-sex.html. There's also a good discussion of it on the Penn State University Web site at http://www.de2.psu.edu/harassment/.

Answer 2

I don't believe that people are telling you to lighten up and put up with it with your specific descriptions. My suggestion is, whether the company is small or large, you talk to him directly first. And I'm not being "nice" here, I'm protecting your bases. Recording the conversation is a tough but very tricky, you could, down he road be seen as manipulative, plus you don't know how you will speak and perhaps compromise yourself on the tape. However, make sure, you keep a record of what he says and how often, and do share that with him. Second, if the company is large enough and he does not stop, you go to human resources. There is no doubt here that you are made to work in a"hostile" environment, which is grounds for a sexual harassment suit, and you have made a good faith effort by talking to him. If the company does nothing to make this stop, you sue. If the company is too small for it to have a human resources department, you still sue. You should not have to work under these conditions nor have to go out and look for another job. And that's not only fair, it's the law. God bless America!

Answer 3

I am sorry that you have to deal with this situation. I can see how you would feel very uncomfortable.

If this person is creating an environment in the workplace that is making it uncomfortable for you, that is sexual harrassment.

If you feel like it's a good idea, you can approach that person privately. You can tell him that you think that talk about these topics is inappropriate and it's making you uncomfortable at work. Ask him to stop. Be very honest and direct.

If the behavior doesn't stop, you can start a sexual harrassment grievance.

Chances are that if you feel uncomfortable, you're probably not the only one. I suspect that you have lots of coworkers behind you.

I hope it goes okay. You deserve to have a "clean" place to work in.

Answer 4

I would try to ignore it or try to get moved to some other part of the office. If it makes you nervous and really uncomfortable then you should start to look for another job. I know that I wouldn't want to have a boss that seems like he's going off the deep end.
D. o. D.

Answer 5

Everyone deserves a fair warning before going over their heads. Tell him that he is being too loud in his conversations, that you would appreciate it if he would keep it quieter, or to himsel. Be adamant that you find it offensive, that you would rather not hear it, and due to the office working situation, you cannot help but overhear, etc etc. Request that he close his door during "personal" conversations. If after a fair warning he still is vulgar, go to his superior and complain.

Answer 6

If this person is a "boss" as you say, then he should be reported to his supervisor, or to the Human Resource department of your company... That sort of behavior IS NOT tolerated in today's working society...
Offensive remarks are considered 'sexual harassment' and can cause him to lose his job, and at the very least be reprimanded...
Your company should be made aware of his remarks and take immediate action against him... If the remarks were made toward or about you, wouldn't you complain??
Make an anonymous complaint if you fear retaliation...
No matter what, he needs to be stopped... Report him!

Answer 7

When my boss was saying perverted and unprofessional things, I let it slide for a few weeks. I don't recommend you to let it slide.

After the few weeks I couldn't take it anymore and took everything personal and finally told his superior. They spoke and problem was solved-most of it.

If your boss has no superior then you have to tell him that you have a problem with his unprofessional manner and it effects the office environment. You could write an anonymous email or letterhead if you don't want to confront him face to face. Hope if works.

Answer 8

Sexual harrasment is any comment or action considered inappropriate. Even if he is a "Boss" he has a boss and the courts are filled with law suits about less. Confront him first, if that goes nowhere then his boss next. If that doesn't help get a lawyer and get rich.

Answer 9

I would listen...I had a supervisor who I'd catch on the phone saying the raunchiest stuff I've ever heard and I'd be around the corner trying not to laugh. Maybe it has to do with age though and that was back when I had a sense of humor...
I would ignore it, or if it offends you say something, whatever...

Answer 10

well since the man is a boss he should know better than anyone about sexual harrasment laws. and unless he is the owner of a company there is ALWAYS someone higher than him. but your best answer would be to contact your human resources person, or if they have a hotline like most larger companies do, call the hotline.