My mom is so annoying. She always assumes I do nothing in the house when I do more than her! And she's upset with me because she thinks i have a boyfriends when i dont and she thinks i'm lying and stuff.... And she tells me i have too many needs, and wants and she thinks I only like my dad better because he gets me nice things.... And She is saying that, even though she a has a crap load of clothes and coach purses and ****. And shee is always telling me to come out of my room, And i dont spend enough time downstairs with the family! Well, what the hell am I supposed to do with the family? And she spoils my little brother and sister and when I try to teach them a lesson, she gets mad at me!! Well, someone has to take charge and she isnt the one!! So, Why do parents always tamper with your life and assuming things when their not true?
2006-07-06
11:40:53
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29 answers
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asked by
blippo
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Family
Um, first..
I am not old enough to get a job.
And second...
please, if you are not going to say something useful, and hurtful, dont say anything , because Im kinda upset right now.
2006-07-06
12:10:45 ·
update #1
It's not often that parents have a whole lot of information about their kids. It's amazing cause their kids are the one thing that moms and dads care most about in the world. The problem is that communication between parents and kids pretty much sucks 99.9% of the time. Not many teens sit down with their parents and just talk about their lives with them. Not many moms and dads sit down and shoot straight with their kids.
This is a generations-old problem. In fact, Adam and Eve's kids probably hated them too.
Anyway, we forget parents have their own lives and they're just trying to get by too. Your mom faces her days that suck and issues with people, etc. In the middle of all of the hell that is daily life, she is trying to understand you. But she has very little info--which is probably a randomly collected assortment put together from music you listen to, friends you have that she kind of sees, the fact that you are beautiful and growing up, and maybe even some crazy stuff she got into at your age.
Now for the unsolicited question: How do you make all the crap go away?
Moms and dads (and little sibs too) need to feel loved too. Moms need to feel like you actually like them and need them sometimes too. And you do love them, they just drive you insane. SO,
Here is the trick. Be adult. Open communication. Be responsible. This is all easier than it sounds. Your life is your business, so run your home life like a business.
1. Organize: Write down chore charts. List the chore and who gets to do it. Write your name for the stuff you already do and put your lil sibblings into the mix too. It will make you look responsible and organized and it's stuff you're already doing! Write down a list of a few friends and their phone numbers. Put it next to the phone. These are the few people that can be reached if you need to be reached.
2. Plan weekly events. This is for the "having to spend time with your family part." I like my alone time, but I don't mind spending time with the family if it is planned and not boring. So, decide what types of family events you do like: aka, going to a movie, playing board games, or turning on music and dancing. You direct the action. Again, announce a meeting and declare what is going to be done in the house for family fun. You won't be bored if you're in control.
3. Call a meeting. Announce loudly all of the changes you have made in a this-is-the-way-we're-gonna-work tone. You are doing it for the good of the family. You are taking charge. Announce that if anyone has any questions for you, you will take questions after the meeting. Everything is open for discussion, but you are leading the meeting.
Your mom will stop bugging you because she will be thrilled and utterly impressed that you are taking active interest in the family (though you're doing stuff you mostly did before anyway)! And it will be easier for you to bargain for other things you want because you are showing responsibility and organization. Plus you have cleared up a lot of the questions about you and calmed a lot of fears.
Good luck!
2006-07-06 12:02:08
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answer #1
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answered by Tamina 1
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Cause you know why dear..I have a daughter as well and she did all the things you where saying your not doing and i found out when she was sixteen she had guys over and had sex and the whole thing may be thats why she feels that way..If your old enought and you can work..get a job and work on getting out to have your own life and you need not to feel that things are happening..this will work in the end and things should get better..cause your older you will feel left out and not only that moms think your not doing enought if she not there to see it..it is best for you to find a place to live and then just maybe it will or will not work..It is very hard for moms to have trust in there daughters when they think things are wrong..it's not that we don't want to help or trust but we moms have funny ways of careing and don't show it the way we should. If are daughters feel like we are tampering with there life it's time they find a job and look after them self and then look on the mother point of view on how hard it is to raise kids and feed them and more..it is not easy and one day when you have kids of your own..you will look back and see it how hard it was.
good luck
2006-07-06 18:53:00
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answer #2
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answered by Spice M 5
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She's just trying to do her job the best she knows how. Believe it or not, having a child doesn't mean you all of a sudden know how to be a good parent. If you want a better relationship with her, wait until you are calm and she is calm and talk to her about how you could get along better. Try not to be accusatory, just come from the standpoint that you would like to be closer to her and how can you work together to acheive that. You may be surprised what you two can come up with when you work together!
2006-07-06 18:47:51
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answer #3
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answered by Cara B 4
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As parents we are supposed to "tamper" with your life. From reading what you've wrote it sounds like a communication problem with your mother. Try sitting down and talking to her; tell her exactly what you wrote in your question here. Don't raise your voice or "accuse" her; talk sensibly to her and ask her those same exact questions!!
Good luck hun! It won't always be like that! You'll probably be the best of friends when you are older and out of the house on your own!
2006-07-06 18:45:06
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answer #4
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answered by ILuvmy2Kid 1
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You need to talk because if you don't talk to your parents then you leave them no other option but to assume what may be going on with you. Develop a relationship with them. Give your mom more attention. I think she needs you more than you know. She's worried about you getting older and wants nothing but good things for you. YOu won't see it now but in time, when all is said and done, you'll see.
2006-07-06 18:46:24
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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First things first you need to talk to your mother. Mothers do not know because you all do not say a word. You are leaving her to jump to conclusions about your life. It is easy to think the worst and hope for the best. If you want her to not think those things about you then you must open up the line of communications. Talk to her as a young adult with feelings not yelling but really talk to her and explain to her who you are and what you trying to do with you little brother and sister. Explain to her that you do not want certain negative situations for them that you experienced and as the oldest your trying to help.
2006-07-06 18:54:39
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answer #6
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answered by sg out there 1
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It sounds like you're the oldest in your family. . .some parents seem to want the oldest sibling to have the most responsibility, and therefore tend to be more strict. Also, deep down, you two may be more alike than either of you are willing to admit.
Was your mom the oldest in her family? Did her mother treat her the same way?
2006-07-06 18:49:29
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answer #7
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answered by Suzeebee 2
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1.sorry because of bad English
2.I'm male so I can't help much
3. I must ask is this my younger sister ? echo, Viki is it you?!?
I assume you are around 17 years old, and your mother is 45-47.
Do not worry, plc try to be happy. Your problem is all around the world.{For example I'm from Bulgaria(Europe)}
I think it's because of the age's, older people get tired easier, and when they are tired they realize that they are getting old, and then they get nervous.
It is not your problem, but it could be,You must be calm, it will pass in time.
My advice is not to say any hard words, because your mother will forget it but You would not. We are the hardest judges to our self's!
2006-07-06 19:17:22
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answer #8
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answered by miha_el_ektro 1
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We meddle cuz it is our job. would rather have your parents let you run the street? If your looking for sympathy you wont find it from me. If your so unhappy then why dont you move out? You seem to know everything. It is not your job to teach lessons to your bro and sis its your parents. Stop whining and grow up and you will see how life really is.
2006-07-06 18:48:55
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answer #9
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answered by late_sleeper35 5
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Either because they want the best for you and are trying to help, or becuase they are trying to be controlling. It sounds like you are a teenager and needing your space to grow. This is normal and not to worry. Everyone sees the situation from their point of view. Maybe your family needs counseling.
2006-07-06 18:45:30
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answer #10
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answered by maestra 2
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