When do I tell my four-year-old she needs shots?

Question

We but a big emphasis on trust in my house. My daughter used to be so good about shots and so I would warn her ahead of time. The last time she had a shot...and the last time she had to be checked for strep (long Q-tips down her throat) she went nuts....hysterical. I know she will not handle tomorrow's shots well. But she has to have them before kindergarten. So my dilemma is: Do I tell her ahead of time or spring it on her? If I tell her ahead of time she will freak out and anticipate the shots and it will be 10 times worse because she's had time to think about it. If I don't,. I'm afraid she'll lose faith in me when I nicely walk her into the office and then....wham! ....no preparation.

Answer 1

"Wham! ...no preparation" is also "Wham! ...no worrying", which you alluded to in your question. Nevertheless, you want her to trust you.

Here's what I'd suggest: don't tell her she's getting shots, but tell her she's going to the doctor. When you get there, and the doctor walks in, say "Doctor, will [your daughter's name] be needing to have any shots today?" He'll say yes, and nobody's lied to your daughter. The trust is intact.

However, if she ASKS you if she's going to get shots, and you KNOW she's going to get shots, say "I think so, but when we get there I'll ask the doctor if there's a way to do it without shots, or with as few shots as possible." Then do so when you get there. The doctor will say no, it has to be this many shots, but you've given her hope without lying to her -- the trust is intact.

One more thing: you seem to be attempting to strike a balance between honesty and causing needless worry. You've got the right idea; keep it up! :)

Answer 2

Tell her before hand but also, stop making such a big deal over a little shot. If you treat it like it's no big, so will she. If you act like it's a very painful traumatic experience then she'll pick up on that and react the same way.

Shots don't feel great so a little crying is expected. There really is no need for hysterics. I personally would use some form of punishment for that type of inappropriate behavior.

Maybe you could offer a reward if she behaves well: trip to the zoo, seeing a movie, getting her nails painted, etc.

Answer 3

I think you should continue telling her ahead of time and talking with her about the shots. Re-assure her that you will be right there with her the whole time holding her hand and that she can squeeze it when she is scared. Then while you are there, keep holding her & her hand and comfort her during the shot. When it is over, tell her how brave she was, even if she threw a fit. And praise her for going through with the shot. In time she will get better about getting shots. My 15 year old is still afraid of the needle, but she doesn't throw fits anymore, she just cries and tells me that she doesn't like them. But, I stay with her and she still squeezes my hand and I still tell her how proud I am of her that she went through with it.

Answer 4

Hmm. I'd say tell her the morning of, a couple hours before. However, after, if she is good, take her to the toy store or out for ice cream. Maybe to the pool too? (depending on your weather.) This way, she won't be afraid to trust you, but she won't be worrying all night. Also, she'll know she'll be rewarded for her good behavior. (She'll probably still cry, but she's four and it's a shot, so don't expect miracles.)

Answer 5

I have a 6 year old that had the same problem when he had to get his before kindergarten and I told him it was his smart shot so that he could go to school and be smarter than everyone else and it worked great it also worked on my other 2 boys. It also helps to hold them and tell them to think of their happy place.

Answer 6

I wouldn't spring it on her. Tell her ahead of time, and ask her if she'll be a big girl for you. Let her know that you know that they hurt, but that they are important so that she doesn't get sick.
Don't bribe her, that sets a dangerous precedent. Just discuss it with her. If she freaks, she freaks. She's not going to like it either way, but you may as well not cripple her trust in you.

Answer 7

when you are about to pull up, tell her than in a little while she will get a shot, and so that she can got to school, and become whatever she wants to in life. Tell her you will take her for ice ceam or something that she likes. Tell her that you love her, but in order for her to go to school she needs her shots so she can play with the other kids and what have you. well, i hope that all goes well, and she will still trust you.

Answer 8

You could say that you need to go to the doctor's tomorrow. She may ask if she 'll get a shot and you could say we'll see when we get there. You could then talk about how it may only hurt for a little bit but that you need the shot so you don't sick. Bribery always work!!

Answer 9

I think you should tell her ahead of time and tell her you don't want her acting like she did the last time. She's a big girl and it will only hurt a minute. Why let her get away with acting hysterical, you need to teach her how to handle things like this! My God, I'm sick of parents letting their kids act like brats! You are supposed to be in control, let her know she is not allowed to act like that!!!

Answer 10

Tell her...then, afterwards let her know that if she is good you will take her someplace special...also let her know why she has to have them...don't get upset with her, it will only make it worse for both of you...if you don't and just "surprise" her with it, she will think every time she has to go to the doctor she will be getting shots...good luck