Why do people ask "Hi, How Are You?" then walk away when you are answering?

Question

It seems like recently this has become THE greeting in America. I am so sick of people saying "Hi, How Are You," and not really taking the time to actually listen to the response. I would be fine with just a "Hello", and I hate being expected to say "good" or "fine". These words are not descriptive at all, and it seems like a completely scripted conversation (if you want to call it a conversation) that I hear so much in daily life.

I'd like anyone else's feedback on this.

I can't count how many times I hear "Hi, How are you?." "Good, how are you?" in one day.

Answer 1

Yeah!

The expected response is like you say a 'good' or 'fine', anything longer than that is really not in the agenda. Similar to the way people say 'Hi! nice to meet you' when they FIRST meet them. If you think about it that statement is nonsensical, it would make sense to say when departing 'it was nice to have met you' but to say 'nice to meet you' implies that you know the future and that in fact this will turn out to be a 'nice' experience. Another thing that we do and makes no sense any more is shaking hands, this was originally developed in western society because people would kill each other at the drop of a hat, so when approaching a stranger since most people are right handed to show that stranger that you meant him no harm you would extend your unarmed hand to him and hold his unarmed hand and shake it in a gesture of good will and defense (while you can't kill him while he holds your hand , he can't kill you either). In our society we no longer carry daggers to stab people on a regular basis but we still shake hands.

Funny thing is most people don't know why they shake hands they just do it. The same could be said of the greeting, most people don't know why folks would first ask 'how are you doing?'

Answer 2

Simply, "hello how are you" at the current time appears to be the most common way for two human beings (familiar on unfamiliar) to greet one another. In some ways, it is like saying "What's up" where no response is necessary. Obviously it isn't about knowing how the other person is doing. You seem surprised that this is the case. Person A says "Hello" - Person B says "Hello" back. That is one example of saying hello. A more frequent example is the one in your question. Person A says "Hello how are you" - Person B says "Good. How are you" - Person A says "Good. Thanks." That is the way greetings go in the United States and possibly in other countries around the world at the current time. In 10 years, there may be a new way. I just don't understand why people are so surprised that this is the way it is. We are a civilized people - it is nice to greet one another and this currently is the accepted way to do so.

Answer 3

People do this at work or at school all the time because they are being "Fake nice". This means they do not really care how the person is. They are just being cordial to get along with people they are stuck with for hours. A professor last semester told the class that he says "Hi how are you? " to another staff member but can't stand the guy. Sometimes people are fake to each other so they don't want to look like they are starting trouble. Getting along with people at work or school is expected. Unless someone looks you straight in the eye and asks that and WAITS for your answer, and continues talking to you then that is different, that is genuine. Most of the time people truly and really dislike the person but have to be nice to the person so they can look like a "team player" because if someone gossips about them , they can say that they didn't do it because they always greet you.

Answer 4

I have noticed this as well. So I started replying, I'm doing just horrible. And 9 out of 10 times they , that's nice and just walk away. It seams that greetings have come to mean nothing in this society. When it sinks in what they have done they sometimes turn, but they have nothing to say after that. There is a local store that started adding onto the goodbye, when your leaving, God bless you . But since they say it every time someone is leaving it has become cleshay, and has the same effect as there hello. Just say to me , spend your money here ! And leave it at that. There are lots of times when a cashier is just tossing the stuff I'm buying just down the counter to the baggier. And my reply to them is , Is this my goods that you are damaging ? Or are they free ? I got them once just tossing an egg carton down the counter to the baggier. I knew this was how it was going to be done , So I had picked out a carton with several broken eggs. I had them open the carton and they they were. they have been more careful after that. And don't even get me started on smashed loaves of bread. I know I got off track here a bit , But it just seams to me that 99% of the people in the world has a very careless attitude about interactions with people they come into contact with .

Answer 5

PPL dont really expect an answer when they ask this question. It's basically used anymore as a way to acknowledge someone without actually acknowledging them and having to make conversation. Next time, try saying something off the wall rather than "fine" or "good", like - "I'm still sucking air" or "I woke up breathing" and see what happens. Most ppl will stop and actually pay attention from that point because it's an answer they don't expect.

Answer 6

They aren't asking how you are doing. They don't care how you are doing. It's a way of saying Hello and that's it.
Just a simple hello.
It's the same as taking the time to say Hi, How are you and the person saying Well pretty good. A pretty good means it's not good let me tell you whats going on in my life or what I'm mad about.

When people say Hi, How Are You just say fine and keep on walking. That is a way to show you aren't wanting to talk to someone but you took the time to speak to them.
☺

Answer 7

I feel the same way. It's all meaningless conversation. That's why I never ask someone how they are unless I actually have time to listen to them tell me.

And from time to time, in response to this question, instead of saying "fine", I will ask "do you really want to know?" Makes them stop & think for a minute at least.

Answer 8

Hey, it's not all bad, If you happen to ask my grandmother, or my dad for that matter, they start at their toes and tell you every ache and pain, disease symptoms for diseases they don't have but think they might like to, and if you stand there long enough they will tell you about the neighbor's stuff too.

I started calling people back when they did that to me- "Hey, you asked me a question, I'm trying to answer you." Pretty soon, the ones I see routinely stopped asking crap questions and just say "Hi" if they are too busy to talk,
Maybe you should try it. It really is a hoot to watch peoples faces when you stop them so they can hear your answer.

Answer 9

I agree, it has become a formulaeic greeting, with a predetermined response. Honestly, if people don't want to know how you are, they shouldn't ask. I especially hate it when I get that "Hi, how are you?" from strangers. They don't know me, so I'm sure they don't care how I am, they just feel the need to say something to acknowledge my presence. I just always say Hi to people as I'm walking down the street. Or just a smile and a nod.

Answer 10

I think people who try to say this are trying to be friendly & be looked upon at nice, but they don't realize that people actually stopped to answer & want to make small talk. The ones who only say "Hi, how are you?" don't care to make small talk. I think, for them, it's just a way of saying "hello." Although, if they wanted to just to say "hello," they should have removed the rest of the phrase.

In general, a person who actually listens & wants to know how are you, would stop & listen to your answer. The ones who keep on walking, well, not that they're rude, but they don't really care. They only want to be perceived as nice in the public eye.