I live with my mother and im not happy. i know all kids and parents have disagreements but this is different. i really need someones help. i just turned 15 and ive been unhappy for like 6 years now. i dont think its fair i have to live the way i do. I need to know who can help me and is there anyway i can live with my aunt. My mother says she wont let me. is it her choice in a situation like this?
2006-07-06 09:19:51 · 10 answers · asked by imway2flii4u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Not really. I feel your pain. My mom was a real witch!
What I did was concentrate on finishing high school as fast as possible. I took the maximum course load, went to summer school and even took a couple of classes at the local city college.
The result was that I graduated in 2 1/2 years and was able to then go onto a university (in another town of course) and get out of the house on THEIR dime!
15 is a tough age and it is really common for daughters and moms to fight a lot at this age. I don't know either of you, so I can't say that either of you is doing something wrong. I just know how hard it was for my oldest daughter and I.
The truth is that 15 year olds think they know everything, and they definitely want to be in full control of their own lives. The problem is, that at your age, even if you are the smartest kid on the planet, you do not have enough real knowledge of the world or experience to make important decisions.
At 15 your choices are often completely controlled by emotions. Your hormones do that to you and yeah, you do feel it very strongly and it all seems so real.
But science has recently documented that the teen brain doesn't yet have the full circuitry of an adult brain. In English, this means you really don't have the capacity to be as logical and practical as you need to be.
My recommendation would be to cut your mom some slack. Odds are that she genuinely wants the best for you in life. You also may want to suggest that the two of you see a family therapist. A good therapist won't take sides, but will help the two of you learn how to communicate in a positive, and not hurtful way.
As to living with your aunt. A lot of kids think a change like that will help. They call it "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence," but unless your mom has serious problems (like alcoholism or mental illness), if your aunt cares about you, you are likely to be just as unhappy with limits, curfews, restrictions and all the other things adults do to help teens stay out of trouble and on the right track towards a good adult life.
So, a therapist is probably your best bet for help. It will take some time, but it really works.
Oh yeah, and around 18, my daughter started to finally get it; that the limits I set for her protected her from harm, and that I have lived a lot longer and have much I can teach her that will save her pain.
You too, will get that in a few years.
Good luck.
2006-07-06 09:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by Lori A 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can choose to live with your aunt for yourself if you are of legal age. In some states it is 15 and in others it is 16 or 17. If your aunt is willing to take you in then she can also got to court to get custody of you. That however will cause a major rift in the family between your mom and her and anyone who takes sides.
What is so bad about your life that you feel you need to get out. Is it because she doesn't let you do as you please. If that is it then you best get use to it. That is life and it can be that way with any parent. As a parent myself I can say that it can be a pain to be a kid. Just remember that while you may hate our rules and even hate us we do these things to protect you. Even if it is from yourself.
If it is abuse then seek any and all help.
Just remember to be honest the problems so that you can be taken seriously.
2006-07-06 09:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by triathlon1975 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you seriously feel you would be better off in another home, you can probably start a legal procedure, by discussing with someone like a counselor at school the problems in your home. If it is a situation where child protection services would need to become involved you would probably be able to be placed in a foster home. I don't know if you could request custody with your aunt. Is she willing to take you?
2006-07-06 09:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by surlygurl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless there is some major physical, or sexual abuse, your kinda stuck. But I believe most 15 year olds think just as you do. I know I did, but I was helpless as well. You really have to make the best of the situation and ride it out untill you can support youself financially. Sorry, hope you make it.
2006-07-06 09:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by Olive Green Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom is abusing you you can call the authorities and they may remove you from the home, but there is no guarantee you can go to your aunt's house. You might go to a foster home with strangers. And they could be worse than your mom. Unfortunately unless she is physically abusing you and you can prove it to the police, there's not much you can do.
2006-07-06 09:24:03 · answer #5 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on what state you live in, you can choose who you want to live with at age 14. However, what makes it so bad at home that you want to leave? I mean, wanting to leave at 15 is pretty drastic. If the homelife is abusive, you should call the police or DHS.
2006-07-06 09:24:09 · answer #6 · answered by hollyrenee21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 15, if there is a good reason for you moving to your aunts, then contact social services and request that you be moved.
2006-07-06 09:27:42 · answer #7 · answered by Dawn F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your relationship with your mom... If shes mentally, physically, or emotionally abusive towards you than you can go to court but otherwise I don't know.
SOrry
2006-07-06 09:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can get a lawyer and try to get emancipated. you will need a job and you will need to show a judge why you are better off without your parents.
2006-07-06 09:23:42 · answer #9 · answered by realgirl768553 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well not really cause you are 18. But u can always say its my life!
2006-07-06 09:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋