I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half this past Friday. Prior to the breakup, us and one of our friends had been planning a trip for our friends birthday. We were going to a concert about 3 hours away, and then getting a hotel room after. Since the birthday girl is my close friend, is it wrong for me to tell him not to come? We hadnt bought tickets or a hotel room before we broke up, so it was just something we were talking about.
My friend said it would be akward if he was there, and I agree. It's her birthday and I dont want our status to ruin it, but is it rude to tell him he cant come?
2006-07-06 09:12:40 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
well i assumed that he would know he's uninvited, but he asked me about it today. thats why I'm so perplexed. I thought it was a no brainer, but apparently not.
2006-07-06 09:19:05 · update #1
This really depends on whether the group that is going is YOUR friends, HIS friends, or if they are really shared friends. If they were your friends before you got together, then you shouldn't have to tell him anything. This trip is for your friend's birthday with friends you had before the breakup. Just go and enjoy.
However, if mutual friends in this group are still going to be socializing with him, it could cause problems if he thought he'd still be going - just not as your boyfriend. If that's the case, then someone does need to explain that the trip is for YOUR close friend, and, since both of you can't attend, he needs to stay home this time.
Just remember, if you want to exclude him under the mutual friend scenario, then there may be future functions that you are asked to not attend for the same reasons.
If the friends in the group are really friends to both of you, then you need to learn to play nice because either you'll be seeing a lot of each other for time to come, or your friends will have to choose between the two of you.
2006-07-06 09:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, if after a year and a half, you don't know him well enough to fear that might be rude, it sort of answers any questions a stranger might have about the relationship. Call him and see what he thinks. Give him the opportunity to opt out on his own. If he doesn't do that, things may not be as over as you think, and you have bigger problems than a concert and hotel room.
2006-07-06 09:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by chilixa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it may hinge upon 'who broke up with who'? If he broke up with you I wouldn't think he would want to be in the same place at the same time. If you broke up with him, he may attempt to show up to see you again. I would simply tell him in a polite way that 'all bets are off' and there will be no future events that you would wish to see him at. Actually, the way your question reads, it would be 'your friend' that had been planning the trip and further stated that it would be awkward if your ex boyfriend showed up. The burden of suggesting the boyfriend not go to the event would fall under your friends responsibility. Further, it is certainly not rude of your friend to kindly ask this.
2006-07-06 09:36:26 · answer #3 · answered by gnateleeagain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he hasn't paid for anything yet, and it is a friend of yours, I'd say he is no longer welcome. He was attending as your guest and he is no longer your boyfriend so that answers that.
The hard part will be telling him.
You may want to give him a call and leave a message on his machine saying something like "Just wanted to let you know that you are off the hook for the concert and trip for Susie's birthday. I told them not to buy you a ticket. See you around."
That's not rude - just honest. If he did already buy the ticket you'd be out of luck. Although you could still call and offer to buy the ticket from him "to save him any awkward feelings"
2006-07-06 09:20:04 · answer #4 · answered by iahp_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the birthday celebrant want you both there?
If no, then that is your answer.
If yes, then he should go. You two should agree to be civil. Get at least 2 rooms and make sure you are not sleeping in the same one.
2006-07-06 09:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate at the same time as human beings attempt this. I deffinately agree. they ought to of said as. you've each and every precise to be livid. Myabe her daughter truly replaced into ill, yet nonetheless a telephone call would of been tremendous. You fairly a lot were given stood up.
2016-11-06 00:05:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you should go without him. The breakup changes all future plans, and if you hadn't bought any tickets or anything, there's no need to bring him. Just tell him you think it's best for you to go without him.
2006-07-06 09:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since no tickets were bought or no hotel reservations were made then you are not obligated to him in any way. And when people break up so do any palns that were made.
2006-07-06 09:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by sheri c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I would assume its kinda a given that he should know he is no longer going to your friend's birthday. I don't think you would even have to tell him he's not invited--he should know.
2006-07-06 09:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that's not rude. He should understand. He probably doesn't really want to go anyway anymore since you guys broke up.
2006-07-06 09:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by Stella Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋