How do you wean a toddler off of having to have mommy in the room to go to sleep?

Question

We have a bedtime routine.
I read 3 books before bedtime and say a goodnight prayer and sing a goodnight song.
The room is comfortable with a room darkening shade and a small night light and with soothing rain sounds of nature.
I have for months laid on the floor of her room for up to an hour and a half every night until she drifts off to sleep but my muscles are getting achy and this is putting a huge strain on the relationship with my husband.
If I try leaving her while she's still awake, I try telling her to stay in her bed, but it usually ends up taking about 2 hours of putting her back consistently and hearing crying the whole time. She gets into such a panicky cry that she acts like she is going to vomit.
PLEEASE HELP!! Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Answer 1

Sorry but you are going to have to let her cry it out. She will get over it in about 2 nights. You have to consistent - meaning once you decide to do this you cannot back down or it will never work.

Answer 2

Watch Nanny 911 or Supernanny; they deal with this on almost every episode and they do it very appropriately. Just be consistent and don't panic if the child cries; she won't die! She'll be OK . Good luck. Continue to be consistent an keep putting her back in bed. It may take a while, but if you're consistent, it will pay off. If you are inconsistent at times and give in, you may be setting her back in her progress and that could be why it's taking her so long. When you are inconsistent, you teach the child that if they cry or tantrum, then they are rewarded by getting their way.

Answer 3

I don't like crying it out (for more than five or ten minutes at a time). If she's old enough to understand you, I would tell her in advance "After we read this story, I'm going to stay with you for a few songs, and then you're going to go into your bed and go to sleep." Be firm and act like it's no big deal (they pick up on our anxiety.) When the songs are done, pick her up, put her in the crib, and leave. If she throws a fit, come back in five minutes at first, then make it ten, etc on the following days. Trust me, I've been there and I've done that. It used to take me 3 hours to put my daughter to sleep. Now she's 19 months, we have our routine, she goes right to sleep and sleeps through the nite, no problem. Good luck!

Answer 4

From having three boys, each one different, I can give you this advice from experience. They will test you. They will hold their breath, they will vomit, they will scream, they will do anything they can to get what they want (at any age)... you have to be firm and let her cry. I had a gate door on my son's room when he was going through this. He fell asleep at the door some nights, but he eventually got it. I wasn't coming in and laying down with him like you are doing also. If you don't go to bed the same time you put her to bed, then try watching a movie with your husband or sit on the porch togethetr for a bit. Or play a game. Or just go on with your housework or your own bed time ritual.. Bath.. etc. This is your first mama string to cut. There will many more. Be strong.. and don't give in...

Answer 5

You are a good Mom! I taught preschool for years before recently having my first two months ago so I've heard this many times before! My first suggestion is to give her something else to cling to that makes her feel safe, a blanket, a doll... those are the norm. But for her/him you may need to share something of yours, something that smells like you. Use it as a comforting tool. Tell her she can cuddle with your old doll or your pillow... whatever you need to share... but the key is to let her know that you are near by and that since "this thing" is yours, it's like having you here to cuddle with. Try the sharing while you stay in her room for a couple of days at nap time and then transition to just the "thing" and see if it helps before trying it at night. Good luck!

Answer 6

It's called "spoiled" my dear, and I've been there and done that. I had to sleep with my son until he was a year and a half. Then we quit living with other people and I was able to do things my way. I started out sleeping on the same bed, but then I seperated us so that he couldn't see me anymore. I stacked couch cushions between us. He would climb on top so he could see me and I'd make him lay back on his side. Once he got used to that I put him to bed and left the room but sat where he could see me. When he got used to that I just put him to bed and moved where he couldn't see anymore. When he cried I would call out that I was still there and just tell him to go to sleep. It's hard, I know, but the fact is crying will not kill your child and it won't kill you either. If she cries until she makes herself sick, clean her up and put her back to bed. You have to be strong, you have to be consistent, and sometimes, if they're getting out of bed when they shouldn't, a good smack on the rear don't hurt. It took me six months to completely break my son. I was up at least once a night because he was up crying wanting me to sleep with him. I would get up, tell him he was o.k. and go back to sleep. I'd kiss him and leave the room. He'd cry a few minutes and go back to sleep. It seems really hard, sometimes harsh, and might feel like it's taking forever but I can tell you--thank god, thank god, thank god I did it!

Answer 7

Children are smart as the dickens! They know how to push your buttons and what you will do and won't do.You sometimes just have to let the child cry. Make sure she has no discomforts (wet, hunger, i.e) and if all checks out, let her cry. Parents feel guilty when they walk away from a crying child, but it teaches that child that they cannot make you jump through hoops and they will learn how to discipline themselves. My first born son (your first is always fragile and precious or so we think so)used to scream his head off because he knew that i would come and pick him up immediately! After while, I stopped (it was hard to do at first) running to him. He got the message and cried his little self right to sleep. After a few times, he got the message and he stopped doing it. Trust me Mommy, you have to teach them the early lesson about life...people won't always run when you want them to. Let me now how it turns out~

Answer 8

u r a very sweet,loving mom i understand that but sometimes u just gotta let her cry out ya know and put earplugs if u cnt stand it

Answer 9

I have the same problem!