My mother cusses around my 13 month old daughter.?

Question

My mother claims that because she's 'country' she cusses and that because I'm 'city' I should just lighten up. She always refers to a bowel movement as sh..... i, t. That word is just as bad as any other cuss word to me. We try to say respectable words around my daughter and my mother always tries to work in the sh word in many conversations. I don't understand why and when I confront her about it she gets mad at me and won't talk to me. Any advice? Suggestions?

Answer 1

well, heres the thing.... Yes your daughter is like a sponge right now and will absorb everything said and with that in mind she will be that way until she is grown. We can not protect our children from everything especially when it comes down to family and they way they might speak. But, what you can do for your daughter is teach her the correct way to speak and tell her that we do not talk like grandma. At this age she is not going to understand that but get it a few more months and she will understand that just because grandma does something my mommy has taught me the right thing to do and she will see that you respect your mom and yourself and in turn with lots of love and prayers she will follow in the right footsteps you are providing for her. The first answer you got was not the right way to approach the situation because while we would love to shelter our children it is just not possible to do this and its not healthy. So you have made your wishes to your mother and she knows what you ask of her but now its up to her to change and up to you to teach your daughter the correct thing.

Answer 2

This is kind a like that in away and it might work. I knew this guy that had a drinking problem. Well his daughter had a baby, his daughter told him that if he wanted to see his grandchild, that he was going to have to stop the drinking totally, and if she found out that had been drinking at all, he would not get to see the baby. It took him awhile (several months) but he did it and he enjoys that baby a lot.

And that excuse that she does it because she lives in the country has nothing to do with it at all!!! I live in the country and I don't talk like that. And what has country have to do with the way you talk anyway? I have been to the city and knew people in the city and personally I think they talk worse than the people in the country.

So just tell dear sweet mom that if she wants to keep seeing her grand child, watch her month. Some people might think it sounds cute to hear a child say a bad word, but it's not! And another thing, what is weird, you work and work trying to get them to say a word and nothing. Then when you least expect it, more often than not when you are around a bunch of people, out comes a word!!! And it wasn't the word that you were trying to teach them, but the bad one they heard Grandma, Uncle Joe, Aunt Betty or who ever say, that is the word that comes out.

Answer 3

Well honey let me tell you a thing or two I am completely country and I was raised that saying words of that manner are vulgar. It has nothing to do where your from and everything to do with the respect you have for yourself and others. I understand this because I am going through this with my mother in law and my child. I would ask her politely and if she refuses to respect your wished and I would make it clear that I didnt want my child around that and until she could get it under control we wouldnt be visiting. Not only that but I taught my daughter that only uneducated people use such vulgarity and it would not be tolerated no matter where she heard it from. I dont know if this will help or not but my sister instituted a sware jar at everyone's home in the family when it happened to her and that seamed to work out well too.

Answer 4

I'm as country as pinto beans and cornbread, and was raised to not say things like that. I had enough respect for my parents to listen to them and I have always been glad that I did. Your mother has a habit that she needs to break. A bad habit. Children will say what they hear. At 13 months, your daughter's world is expanding in leaps and bounds. Her language skills are getting better by the day. If you keep taking her to visit with your mom, she will be saying the same things that your mom says. Please don't confront your mother, talk to her and explain that you don't want to raise your little girl to have vulgar language. You would appreciate it if your mother would refrain from the vulgarity while you are there with your daughter. If she chooses not to do this, tell her that you will not be bringing you daughter to see her. And mean it. If she wants to be a part of her grand-daughter's life, she will start trying very hard to break this habit of vulgarity. I really hope this helps because every one of my grandchildren are precious to me and a joy to be around; I would do nothing to jeopardize my being with them and watching them grow up. Good luck.

Answer 5

Yep........you're the mommy. Since your mother can't get her head wrapped around the nice-type of resolution to this situation, give her a dose of country right back and borrow this page from my own well-thumbed book: after your admonishment to your mother for yet one more foul word and her rebuttal "Be that as it may, it goes a bit like this: The day my child is yanked from your snatch is the day you get to determine these things. Until that time, I am her alpha and omega and all roads leading you to your grandaughter go through me." It's not a threat to, well, okay, it IS a threat. She either respects your parenting and resolves her own feelings about it or you can simply curtail the visitations and chalk it up to damage control, the same kind of damage control you'd use when dealing with anyone else who couldn't respect you or your parenting style. "Country" is a cop out. I live in Montana and most of the country folk I know are neither coarse nor common enough to use bad language in front of kids and women. EVERYBODY can rise above the use of bad language.

Answer 6

That's a tough one. But you are the mother, and should have the final say about what is said, and not said, around your daughter. If your mother is that immature, you probably need to draw the line and tell her that it is your way or the highway. You are the one that will be raising her...so your mom really needs to respect that. If she is grown up enough, she will be mature enough to listen. If she is not, then maybe it is time to cut back on visitation times, and when good old cussing mom begins to miss her granddaughter, she will start paying closer attention to her filthly mouth.

I'm sorry you have to deal with something like that, it really is unnecessary.

Answer 7

As a parent you are entitled to say how you want you child to be raised. I think you need to make it clear to your mom that although she was raised in the country and the word Sh$t is common you do not want your daughter saying it.
Its hard to break old habits but she has to respect your wishes or you will need to keep your daughter away untill your mom can get use to the idea of not sayin the word.

Answer 8

Talk with your mother calmly about how you are trying to make a good impression on your child at an early age. Also, explain to her that if she will not refrain from using profanities, then you will not expose the child to her. If her language continues to be foul, then do not let your child be around her. This may be painful for you or your mother, but your daughter is your child and you should decide how she should be raised and what words she should hear and learn; she's not your mother's child.
Good luck!

Answer 9

Tell your mom that if she refuses to watch her language around your daughter that she will not be able to spend anytime with her. I would think that spending time with her grandaughter would be enough motivation for her to stop cussing in front of her...good luck

Answer 10

It's your daughter. Tell her to either cut it out or be prepared to not see her granddaughter. I live in rural NC and everyone here is country but they don't talk like that in front of children. You might want to explain to your mother that there are differences between COUNTRY, REDNECK and TRASH.