Is my 2 yr. old a brat?

Question

I know that my 2 yr. old daughter is a handfull, but I think its just her age. My whole family says that she is that way because I spoil her and dont disipline her enough. When we are at the grocery store I never spank her or even harshly get on to her because there are too many nosey people out there who would call the authorities on you for spanking your kid. My family thinks I am wrong to let her get away with the fits in the store.

More details: I live about 20 minutes from the nearest grocery store, so its not so easy to just leave a basket of groceries and come back later. My husband cant always go with me so I am on my own with her alot. I have tried the distracting with snacks or toys. Her deal is she wants to walk. She thinks she is too big to ride in the basket, I guess. By myself it is too hard to push a basket and chase a 2 year old. But when I put her is the basket and tell her "No. You are going to sit in the basket." she screams and yells and all those nosey people stare at me like they are waiting for me to bust her butt. Which I am not going to do in public. I am certainly not against spanking. It has been done for centuries and as long as it doesn't leave bruises I dont feel and I know thousands of other moms agree, that it is not abuse. I just dont want to deal with those people in a public place.

Answer 1

You are.You will not go to jail if you spank your kid.That is called parenting!!!
Try it sometime.Go ahead and spank her.It is your job!

Answer 2

Good discipline does not include spanking. If you were to hit an adult or someone of an older age with your hand or a belt, you would be arrested for assault. The rules don't change just because you're hitting on someone who can't pick up a phone and dial 9-1-1.

If you are not setting boundaries at home and having consequences for boundaries----yes, even a 2-year old can be given boundaries---then you are not disciplining your child. If your child screams and throws temper tantrums and you give her what she wants just to keep her quiet, you're actually promoting the bad behavior.

Keep your promises------all of them. If you tell her, "No, you cannot have that," and she throws a fit, and you say, "Hush, or you will have to sit in the "corner" for 5 minutes," and she continues---sit her in the corner for five minutes. Keep putting her there until she sits.

Disciplining is hard work. If you lose control---which means You're Being the Bad Girl---and hit her, then she's just learning from you that every time she gets too frustrated and angry, she can hit someone. That's not a good thing---especially when she gets to Kindergarten.

Make the rules---tell her the rules, very clearly and calmly. 2-year old can understand.....people who say they don't, have never tried it. They're rather pick up a paddle and hit them---it's easier----not right----but easier.

Clear rules, calmly but firmly spoken to the child at her eye level. Let her know that behavior is not acceptable and stick to your guns with the consequences you set. Time out for 3, 4, 5, minutes each time in the corner--or whatever you choose---outside of assault.

If you say, "No," mean NO. If you do not expect to have to levy consequences or remain consistent, then you will not be teaching you child anything accept Mommy doesn't care whether I'm misbehaving or not!

Hang in there----this is hard work!!! Most people who have children find out that "easier" is not at all the best root. If they wanted "easy," they should have gotten a cat instead of a child.

Answer 3

I don't think she's a brat. You're right, she's 2, she wants to be independant and she doesn't understand that the cart is the safest place for her.

I totally understand the distance from the grocery store issue - it also makes it hard to run all of your errands between naps and meal times! So if the distractions don't work maybe try one of these:

prepare her (and yourself!) mentally for the trip to the store. all through breakfast tell her your schedule. ease her into the day with a slow transition.

tell her the kinds of things you want to buy. you could even cut out some pictures from the store's weekly ad of crackers, tomatoes, bananas - things she normally eats and is familiar with. then when you are at the store you can make a big deal out of matching or being on a food-treasure hunt.

if she acts up in the store, leave your cart and discipline her in your car - time out, spanking, whatever. but do not leave town until you have bought at least the minimums - i.e. you need to show her that her tantrums aren't going to stop you from getting groceries. make sure the routine of the shopping experience is completed.

most grocery store bakeries will give your child a free cookie.

you can also add to the shopping routine a trip to get ice cream or to the park.

good luck!

Answer 4

If you let her get away with fits in the store, then she will have it all figred out, which she probably aslready does. She will know that she can get away with it in the store and it will make it worse. I spank my kids at home and occasionally will have to in public. But, I try to find another way in public. Of example, when we go to Wal Mart my kids always want to ride the little superman or mickey mouse ride. I don't let them ride it on the way in to the store. Only on the way out....if they are good. I have a 3 year old and 4 year old. If one is good and the other isn't, I just let the one who was good ride and the other just has to stay in the basket. I've only had to do this twice. But, there have been many times that neither one got to ried b/c they were not good. If you tell them something like that (if you are good, then you can ride) Then stick to it!!!! Good luck, I know you you feel!

Answer 5

First you don't let children get away with things in public that you would not tolerate in your home. She is testing you. You don't have to spank her, or even harshly speak to her. I put my four year old in time out wherever we go or I will even just leave the store. They need consistency, at home in the store wherever you go. A two year old knows now what is right and wrong, they need reminders. Nobody will call the authorties for slapping a hand at the store, it is your child. Do you beat her!!!! Besides I don't think that will help, stick her in a cart and fasten the straps while you shop, if she screams, so be it!!!!!!!! Ignore her, do not give into her and deal with it. Testing is a huge thing right now and will set the stage for later. She isn't spoiled, just being 2 but you are in charge, not her!

Answer 6

If yours is, then so is mine. My daughter is almost two and is quite a handful. Personally speaking it wouldn't make a lick of a difference to my daughter if we left a store or not. In my case she is fit throwing because she doesn't get her way and I assume that is the case with your 2 yr. old also.
The biggest tip I can give is to not give in to your daughter. Buckle her in and let her cry and throw a fit, she will be safe if she is buckled in and you are close. My next tip is not to spank unless she is doing something that will cause her physical harm (like running in the road) because I have found that spanking only increases aggression (I have two older children)
Next, your daughter can sense that you care what other people think. Don't let them cloud your sense of what to do, go with your logical thought of how to handle the situation. You can even tell her outloud that you feel for her because she can't walk but you will let her walk to the car holding your hand when you are finished or make up silly songs or games by letting her put items in the cart or write on your shopping list. And if all else fails think about how far her will and determination will get her as a woman in the world after she is grown up.

Answer 7

The next time she has a fit in the store, REMOVE her from the store and explain to her that most people do not like being around children who yell and scream and kick on the floor and that you do not like it either. If you have another responsible adult to leave her with while you shop you could tell her she will NOT go shopping with you again until she shows you that she knows how to behave. It is true that 2 year olds like to test limits. However, you should not tolerate her fits in the store. Spanking should only immediately, follow a deliberate behavior that physically, endangers the child's safety, such as knocking down cans or running in front of moving carts.

Answer 8

I have a 2 year old girl also. You have to know one thing when your a mother. You have to teach your child right from wrong at an early age. If you dont she will drive you through a brick wall. Use your own form of Disipline, and hope that your form is good enough. Fits in the store spank her. If you believe in spanking your child then do it. I spank mine and i did it so hard the 1st time i never had to do it again. It scared her and then she knew not to do it again.

Answer 9

I Don't think she's a brat, she's probably just testing you. You can't even say anything to your own kid anymore in public without people watching you thinking your abusing them or something. I f she throw's a fit in the store I would talk to her as soon as we got in the car. I have a 10 yr. old and a 5 yr. old and if were out in public and they misbehave all I have to do is look at them and they know to stop, and if they don't, they know they will get spanked when they get home. There is nothing wrong with scolding your child mabe if more people did there wouldn't be so many out of control kids out there.

Answer 10

well she is 2 and they for some reason think they rule the world. But there is always a way to do or say anything even in public. You have to remember that you are here example for the way the world works...and if she is getting her way with mommy than she may really have serious disappointments in life that could be avoided with alittle discipline and structure. Not to say that all children need to be spanked but it is more of just being constant and consistent with them when they are wrong. Frankly I think people would appreciate it if more parents would discipline their children who are acting like straight "fools" in the grocery stores and other public places...but it starts at home.

Answer 11

I disagree. I don't believe in spanking at all. As a child abuse survivor, it really did a lot of emotional damage. As far as the grocery store, it's hard for kids because they want to touch everything and we tell them "No!" So if she throws a fit, I usually just take my daughter out of the store period. People can say what they want, but if you're setting good boundaries for your child then that is not spoiling!