I have been with this man 4 years and he keeps telling me "I am going to marry you, I promise" but where the hell is the ring and the proposal. Ladies and Gentlemen help me out????
2006-07-06 07:23:56 · 43 answers · asked by Just Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That could be it or he could just be scared of committment. He isn't used to the idea of having that responsiblity or knowing that this is it. Which is dumb because he's been with you for four years. He should know by now. What you need to do is figure out what you really want and tell him. If he can't commit to you in any degree of just brushes it off then you need to leave him. It's not fair for you to wait around. Let him know that you want to get married and that he needs to ask you and you guys need to have a date set. Otherwise you're both wasting your time. I know that is easier said then done, but do what is best for you and be selfish for once. It sounds like he does it all the time! Good luck!
2006-07-06 07:28:52 · answer #1 · answered by meghanw1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's been 4 years, I don't think it's an issue of waiting for something better. 4 years is enough time to know for sure also if you're the right person. It's most likely an issue of making the commitment. Some people are afraid it will change things. You didn't state if you were living together, and that is a big unknown if you aren't. People see changes in other couples, as if they stopped trying after marriage. People see the failure rate in marriages and are afraid it will happen to them. It's really up to the two of you to provide the security and reassurances to the relationship necessary to move into the commitment.
2006-07-06 07:34:10 · answer #2 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax and don't let it get to you.... I have been with my g/f for 4 1/2 years. Marriage really didn't seem necessary I suppose until now when we are talking about a future with children and a family. It is the next step. You could say I was chicken or just scared, but either way I think I was just a late bloomer.
A good thing is you should know by now if you guys have what it takes to make it last. You might have to put your foot down and draw the line. If it is something you want, and if it is not going to happen... you do have the right to know so you can get on with your life.
2006-07-06 07:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by polishrookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with a women for a year and bought her a ring, boy she had me fooled her activities outside our relationship were scandalous, but I digress. When did you get your engagement ring, if you do not have one by now it is not going to happen. It is my experience if you are weak you pay and if you let people string you along they will use you up and spit you out; after your youth and money is gone they are generally also going to be leaving.
4 years = 48 months = 1440 days = 34560 hours etc.,
there comes a time to step up and be a man or the woman will leave. As I said if you haven't set a date or our in possession of a ring it is not going to happen.
2006-07-06 07:32:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, many of them are looking for something better to come along. Four years is a long time. You are wasting your youth.
Sit him down for the "talk". Explain that you love him and have waited four years for him to love you. Tell him that he has 90 days to decide what he wants to do. Do not settle for a 20 year engagement. If he doesn't want to marry you, cut your losses and move on.
You will be much happier with someone who wants to commit to you.
There is a wonderful crude old adage: "$hit or get off the pot."
2006-07-06 07:33:48 · answer #5 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's been 4 years, It;s time for him to make the commitment' You may have to force the issue, if he doesn't want to commit, you may be better to end the relationship and get on with youe life. I think that 4 years is long enough to wait on just promises and no actions. The best of luck to you.
2006-07-06 07:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by happybidz2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is insecure, or perhaps that marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper to him and does not understand the importance of it to you. You need to tell him to put up or shut up. If he does not want to marry you then he needs to be honest with you about it. It's only fair. You need to find out why he is not ready.
If men are waiting for something better to come along, it usually the wrong one they are waiting for.
2006-07-06 07:29:37 · answer #7 · answered by crash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not especially. It could be that he is waiting until he is comfortable being married. This could stem from a job situation, having a house for the both of you to make a home, or being financially stable. These are a few sensible reasons why men wait.
2006-07-06 07:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by Gary S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes yes, not all guys. most of the time theyre afraid. A) fear you reject the proposal, B) you accept proposal then leave him, C) He doesnt satisfy you romanticaly,love,lifetime partners,etc, D) Children, dont know if he'll be a good father also dont know if the children will be good when theyre older, E) we cant think that far ahead in our lives so we fear what we dont know so in procrastinating we hope we can get a better view. these are just a few of the things why we wait so long. See and you thought us guys just thought about sex.
2006-07-06 07:30:42 · answer #9 · answered by Chunky G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That means you tow aren't on the same page. You want to get married, and he's just telling you he's going to marry you so you can stop asking him about it. I think you should talk to him about it and tell him how you feel if that doesn't work out, and you really want to get married then move on and find someone who's ready for marriage. Good Luck!
2006-07-06 07:27:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋