My boyfriend weighs about 30 or 40 pounds less than I do; he's got a great figure and is comfortable with himself. I, on the other hand, find myself repulsive and feel ashamed if not downright disgusted whenever he tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful or that I'm the perfect woman, etc. What embarrasses me the most, I think, is that he seems so proud of me, yet I see absolutely nothing for him to be proud of. Whenever he learns that I'm trying to lose weight he seems worried; but with a BMI of 28.2, I get really nervous and even more down on my image. Is there any way for me to feel comfortable around him in the meantime?
2006-07-06 06:53:10 · 3 answers · asked by Jayna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've got the most wonderful guy in the world. I just want to find a reason for him to be proud of me.
2006-07-06 07:02:56 · update #1
Well I can tell you that I too am 30 lbs overweight from what the dr's charts say, and sometimes I can pick apart different aspects of my figure that I do wish to change. But then a lot of times I can look at myself naked in the mirror and think why do I compare myself with skinny people or men who are designed to be muscular and not gain fat in the areas women are SUPPOSED to gain. We are made this way so that we can nurture another life within ourselves. I also think about how in different ages in history, larger or curvy women were the ideal. Think of the paintings of naked women with curvy hips, breasts and little round belly pooches, called "rubenesque" women. So, you just find the positive in yourself even if you ultimately want to be a different way, once you finally have a real desire to change that habits that got you a little overweight then you take the actions to change and you will be successful.
Anyway, I don't feel shy around my partners, I love my body in a lot of different forms. I didn't know to love it when I was trim and fit because I was young so I always had it covered and hidden as that was my style, but even then I wasn't self concious I just didn't care. I loved my body as it looked when I was pregnant, and I love it now looking like a "rubenesque" girl from a painting. I mean if men used to make sculptures of women who looked like me then I'm sure men can appreciate it now and most importantly I can. So please find the parts about yourself that you love and appreciate and think about that. And when you're alone with your man, focus on the pleasure you and he are taking from each other and not on how either of you are looking. Good luck and God bless.
2006-07-06 07:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mariah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you want to loseweight to be healthier, then more power to you. It just takes eating right and exercising regularly. But if you want to do it just so you think he'll like you better or because you think you look bad, that is for the wrong reason. If the guy tells you you're beautiful, he isn't lying, and be thankful you found yourself such a great guy.
2006-07-06 06:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by keeder04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every girl feels that she has something wrong with her body. If you love this guy and trust him then you should believe him and be happy the way you are. You're lucky you have a boyfriend like that, most guys are picky.
2006-07-06 07:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by Colombian nena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋