ok serious question here requiring serious answers...?

Question

ok..story in a nutshell...been with her for over a year..broke up a couple times during...she initiated the break ups cause she says she didnt know what she wanted except for the last one...of which i initiated because she chose something that i was against over me..(she decided to be a stripper than date me..) knew how much that hurt me...i got over it...i mean whatever...you dont like me for me whatever...move on...k...then 6 months after that..we got back together..(did some drunk dialing...i know...dumb move on my part...but some how ended up together again afterwards..)...now...i have caught her in lies and such and shes not apologizing for being a stripper...which im not asking for an apology....but she hangs it over my head constantly...now...question is..is i need to cut my ties...cause this is just unhealthy....but im stuck in that twilight zone of "is this the right decision..."...i dont think this is a question...but looking for moral support...has anyone been in a similar

Situation…and how did you deal with it? Ive done everything for this girl….drove her everywhere she needed to go…paid for her meals and what not…helped her find a job…find a place to live…(in the process)…practically bent over backwards for this girl….before the major break up and still afterwards…whats up with me? I think that im giving my ALL to her and truthfully its exhausting. And I think im done. Even if you think this is not a question. Thank you for at least letting me use you as a sound board. Any supportive comments would be appreciated. and please be respectful if you feel the need to leave a comment.. thanks.

Answer 1

3 Words:

CUT THE TIES.

Answer 2

Get out a pen and paper. Draw a line down the middle. Name one section Pro's and the other section Con's. List all the things on the Pro's side of all the good things that you know for sure that will happen if you hook back up with this girl. On the Con's side list all your fears with this girl. Your disapointments with this girl. See wich side wins.

You already know you don't want to be with this girl. The only reason that a part of you is fighting it is because you don't want to feel like it was all a waste of time and money and effort.
What you need to realize is that every relationship is a learning experiance. It's up to use to make the decision on weather or not to make it a good one or a bad one.
I don't even know the girl and can tell you she's got way too many issues to deal with on her own. It sounds like to me that she doesn't respect you or the way you feel about certain things. That can only lead to trouble.
I was with someone that I was with for a long time with several breakups/makeups in between. Then I got to the point where I did 'nt want to go through all the drama all the time. It's so useless to do that with people because you come to the realization that, that other person is not going to change. Nothing about this situation is going to change and all i'm doing is getting mad and aggrivated and frustrated and let down and dissapointed. You can stop it dead in it's tracks by leaving that girl alon hun.
As for the drunk dailing thing...... You're not the only one. We've all done it. Just be prepared for the onset the next day.
Well, I hope this helps you some. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I believe that you answered your own question with, "I think I am done". It is time to move on and let by gones be by gones. If this girl truly loved you, she would at least respect your wishes of not becoming a stripper. Strippers want two things, attention and money in that order. She is definitely an exhibitionist and they are not the type to have a long lasting relationship with. Get on with your life and dump her to the curb. You have to get your head together and stop beating it against a brick wall. Love is not in the cards for a stripper - just get over her and move on. Can I say it more clearly? Hope your heart heals soon because there is someone out there who will make you happy once you are happy with yourself. Thank you for your question.

Answer 4

You need to get out of that situation buddy. Your right it's not healthy, and if she is doing something that you do not agree with, then you two are not right for each other, your two totally different people. I dated a stripper once, I knew her before she was a stripper, I don't like strip clubs because I think they are a waste of time and money, but I tried to date her because I like to think I am open minded about things, but I have found that a lot of stripper start to look at men like they can use them to get material things. I'm sure there are exceptions to that rule, but it sounds a bit like she is a user, and what she wants is more important than anyone or anything around her. She sounds like she needs to grow up a bit, but you can't force a person to grow up, they need to find that strength on their own. The best thing you can do for her is to leave her. Tough love, you don't want to be the person that enables her, because then she will continue as if nothing is wrong.

Answer 5

I can see that you really like this girl but there seems to be a fundamental problem in that you can't accept the line of work she has chosen. Ultimately this relationship comes down to a couple of basic things. Can you really be with her and accept and support the fact that she is a stripper? If you can, can she ever believe that deep down inside you still don't hold a grudge over her choice to be a stripper? Unless you can be sure that both of these questions have positive answers then you need to walk away because this relationship will never amount to anything more than what it currently is.

Answer 6

Your relationship with this girl sounds as if you have all to give, and get nothing in return. It looks to me that you are a great support to her and maybe nothing else. She still may have alot of growing up to do, her own insecurities are becoming your problems. I would step back and not do so much. A relationship should be equal on both parts, and if you are the one giving total love and support to her, and her not giving you what you ultimately need in return then maybe this is a lost relationship. I have a friend that his wife became a stripper in their relationship, with children to boot. This did ruin there marriage after time, and he became very troubled as well. I believe that you really care for this person, but do stop and smell the roses she may not be your soul mate. Certain things are disturbing to you now, but may become more and more disturbing later. Good Luck

Answer 7

Wow, that was a lot to take in and I am more then happy that I am not in your shoes. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I think what you need is a good break up f--k. Go find another girl and bang away. The sooner you get something started with someone else, the easier it will be the stripping s--t and you can move on with your life. I wish you much luck and I hope that you can find a girl with some morals in your next relationship.

Answer 8

I know it is hard to cut the ties. You will probably mourn as if she had died. It is painful when you have been so open and honest with another human being. It is important to move on and not keep calling her when you are lonesome or think you can't do better than her...but you can. She was just the 'practice' girl for a very special relationship that you haven't even found yet. I know it is hard to keep a positive attitude, but you will have to keep your chin up. It takes a long time..probably about 1 year, for most people, to get over a lost love.

Answer 9

Okay so shes a stripper and you don't respect that kind of job well I don't think a stripper is the best job especially if she has a boyfriend, See you claim your done with this girl but if you were and it sounds like you have your mind made up then you should cut her loose and if you've caught her in lies then that's a huge red flag she obviously isn't trust worthy I'm sure you'll find some one better so cut her loose!!!

Answer 10

You do not love her, you pity her. There is a big difference. I did the same thing for a couple of girls before I realized what I was doing. Give it up, she is not going to change, especially if she has started stripping, lap dances included or worse? If she is doing couch dances, she is getting a lot of hands in the honey pot too, or much more aftet work. sounds like she is using and she needs a great more help than you can offer her. She will continue to pull you into her whirlpool, which has no bottom. Move on and quit drunk dialing.

Answer 11

ummm...wow. stop being there for her. you've gone out of your way repeatedly for her and all it seems she is doing is just taking advantage of you. if she's a stripper, or at least a midway decent one, she wouldn't need you to drive her around or pay for her meals or such. she's using you. plain and simple. do you want to further degrade yourself in this relationship or no? you've already states that you were very against her being a stripper and now you've come to terms with it in a way. but now she knows you don't approve of her vocation and she rubs it in your face just to spite you. right now, you're the bit*h in the realtionship. she's wearing the pants. you'll buy her this and take her there when she doesn't need to be. you obviously are looking for something from her otherwise why then are you doing all this? this doesn't sound like a relationship to me, sounds more like pimp and his hoe. drop her and get along. she'll never change for you so long as you keep babying her looking for some sort of affection or appreciation from her which will never come. I'm sure once you drop her, she'll change her tune for awhile until you're back. then she'll be back to her old ways again.