How can I recover?

Question

I have had a rough go of it the last few years. I lost my father and my family turned on me for his property. I was deceived in a four year relationship that was with my soul mate to a friend that was 18 years old. (she was 44) I have lost all my possesions and mky will to be. I simply exist.
My relationship was one that was very intimate. It was one that nothing did not go explored. We both had a vampyre "fetish" if you would call it that and we shared a strong blood bond. It is a little more than a year now and I still feel her and what she is doing. I have become even more morose than I was and become an alchoholic. I have a hatred of women because of her but I still desire them. I have lost my faith in humanity. You may be asking yourself how was this his soulmate. I firmly believe in reincarnation and we were together before. My faith and hope are gone. I have lost everything. How does one start fresh?

I will be willing to give anyone a more detailed rundown of the thing that people call my life. Email me and I will give you a history. You thought your life sucked!

Answer 1

Im sorry this happened to you. Try talking to someone about how this is affecting you. I've had a very bad childhood full of abuse and with help things have gotten better. Talking to someone who just listened made all the difference in the world. Learn to take one day at a time. Do things for yourself. Find something that makes you want to wake up in the morning...a hobby, a new social group. Step by step is the key.

Answer 2

Wow, I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through all of this. what has happened is you have ignored the pain that you have been feeling and in one form or another it has to come out. you have turned to alchohol because you feel this feeling and don't know what to do with it. you really need to acknoledge how you are feeling otherwise you will be bitter and resentfull for the rest of your life. The only way to start fresh is to realize what has happended, the feeling that you feel and why, and what you can do for yourself. I would really suggest going to talk to a specialist because you seem like you really want to stop living the way you are and being the person you have become. It is very important that you do get the help because if not you are just giving the control of your mind away and it is hard to gain back. As for turning to alcohol it is a very scary thing, my father died at 33 years old because he was an alcoholic and was very sexist against women. he was a very abusive man and lived his whole life being bitter and angry with the people who loved him most. I really hope you can find yourself able to do the right thing. "the world is filled with pain and suffering, but it is also filled with the overcoming of it" that is a beautiful quote from Helen Keller please keep that in mind. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

It is an understatement to say "you have had a rough go of it." No one expects to have all this crap happen, and it is not easy to just put aside the feelings.
I believe that the first step you need to take is to see a doctor. You sound as though you have been depressed too long. There are excellent anti-depressants available, and these can bring the despair under control. It is not "weak" to take anti-depressants; it is pretty smart, compared to utter despair.
The next step is to get some grief counseling management. There are many trained professionals available. To get over these kinds of pain and turmoil you need to grieve about your losses. Until you release that pain, you will be stuck where you are. Grief management works; until one has gone through it, it sounds stupid. I used to think so.
The most important part of these steps is that you must do them for yourself. You must decide that life is worth living, not just existing. You have got to find just a tiny ray of faith, and do these two things for yourself. You deserve to live again. And these two steps can start you on a journey back. I am not saying it will be easy for you, nor that there may not be more steps to take later. But at least start for yourself; you are worth it!!
Good luck, and I hope that you will find that new start within yourself.

Answer 4

Sounds like you're using alcohol to mask the depression. Get some help, there are mental health clinics that will work with you on a sliding scale.

If you're depressed, it's best to cut out, or at least cut back, on your drinking. Drinking may provide some immediate relief, but it makes pulling out of a depression more difficult. Some people might suggest AA, but I've found that it can be the worst place for people with depression. They discount the idea that it could stem from anything other than the drink.

Answer 5

wow. this is not an easy one.

sometimes is takes making a clean break before you can begin again. the first thing you should do is work on letting go of everything. you need to address all of the issue bothering you. sit with them. let them consume you. wallow in them. then look at your role in things. forgive yourself.

forgive yourself for everything, for being decieved, for being mad etc...

then rebuild. see this as an important part of your PAST. learn everything you can from it. salvage your greatest memories and smile about them.

realize that if it was once that good, it can be again... even better. learn to trust again and breathe in and out. make plans for the future. plan something for early next week and look forward to it.

Stop drinking and pick up some fulfilling habits. alcohol is a depressant.

be strong. you are better than this. talk to your closest confidant about everything. people can help you let go and give you a fresh perspective.

pray.

Answer 6

You are not the only one who is in a mess. Plz read the following which may not be exactly identical to your situation but shows that there is hope.

http://www.ucando.org/drdeb.html

Dr Debbie's advice...
Follow your dreams and be guided by others but don't be swayed by their lack of determination-they really don't know what you are capable of. If you think you can do it, go for it. Be adaptable, prepared and open though, as your travels may take you along paths that you did not originally entertain as being part of your journey.

(2) Here is another real life story:

After years of working in the aftermath of wars, he returned to England disillusioned with life and lived on the streets for months. He became depressed, lost his faith and turned to alcohol.

http://ichuddersfield.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0330features/tm_objectid=14879269&method=full&siteid=50060&headline=sean-rebuilds-his-life-name_page.html

Answer 7

It sounds like alcohol is not the root of the problem. BUT, I strongly suggest reviewing these 12 steps and choose one or two to focus on. I'm not a bible toting do gooder, running around trying to change the world. From experience, I know what betrayal, deception, dishonesty, loss of loved ones (death), isolation, loneliness, sadness, desperation, solitude, isolation, degradation, humiliation... is about. Most of these things I know first hand. DO NOT GIVE UP! To answer your question... you can not change the past. You CAN change the present and the future. IF you're drinking and can't stop, things can't get better. I'll end with this the Serenity Prayer... God grant me the courage to accept the things I can not change. Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

AA Steps


1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


Reprinted from the book Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book)
with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

Answer 8

You can recover almost immediately. Do you want deliverance? There really is a true and living God who really has sent his son to save us. Do you believe that? You need to replace your pain, fornication,and filth with healing wholeness, but you have to want it. Life is not a game and is not fair. We do reap what we sow. The attacks against you are spiritual and will not stop unless you truly repent and actually let God heal and protect you. But,you do have the right to continue taking your seemingly repulsive life in your own hands. I'll pray for you.

Answer 9

i say you should investigate God, and start a personal relationship with Him. Go to counseling. It really helps and it shows you how to sort out your life. Start going to a believing church and get into fellowship. God can totally sort out your life. I am sorry about all the stuff you have gone through, but that is God's way of leading you to him. I am sorry about your "soulmate", but if she left you, she isn't good enough for you, and I am sorry again. Please look into God. He loves you, and wants to sort out your life, and have a personal relationship with you. Go to an AA meeting and get some help with your alcoholism. You are trying to fill up the hole god fits into with alcohol, and it isn't working. ONly God fits there, and alcoholism can really hurt you, and your relationships, and it is addicting, let alone expensive. I am praying for you.

Answer 10

It will all take some time,so don't worry once you have
healed you'll beale to go out in to the great world again.
i know how you feel about loseing your father i lost mine
at the wheel of a car when i was a baby,but i'am o.k.
now.