how do i tell my sister that i am so scared im going to lose her?

Question

my sister is going to have a op in the next few month and im so scared that she will not come back, im so scared that she will died i have tried talking to my mates about it and they did help abit but she has not had a big op like this since she was a year old.

Answer 1

When I had my surgeries, I kind of wanted someone to come to me and tell me that they were scared, so I wouldn't have to feel that I was the only one afraid that I would die. GO to her, and tell her EXACTLY how you feel. That will give her strength to pull through, and it will give her the knowledge of just how much she means to you. You BOTH will be so happy that you did this. If people tell you NOT to tell her, that it may upset her, well, SURE she will cry, and YOU will cry, and you will love each other more than you ever have before. If she would die, then you would have to live forever and ever, wishing you had told her all this. DO IT!!!! YOU won't be sorry.

Answer 2

Request some alone time with her before the operation and just tell her that you hope she will come out okay and not have to do anymore serious operations for the rest of her life.

However, do NOT bring up dying to her. As a person that's been through surgery, most of us are shaking at the thought of being lost on the operating table and don't need someone suggesting it. Unless she brings it up do not even mention the words "die", "death", "passing", etc. Always make it sound as if you're confident she'll make it through to help her be relaxed and her body not stressed out over it. Try to keep things light-hearted and her mind off of the coming operation, just talk of what you'll do afterwards (such as whatever her favorite things to do are that you can do together).

Save any fear of dying comments to other family members, religious leaders, and friends, but never to the person that's actually having it done.

Answer 3

I dont think it would be good for her to know that you think this....
To be more lucky to be absolutely ok after the op, she won't need only physicl strength, but psychological too... Make sure she know how much you love her, that you are there for her, that you will do whatever you can for her to be happy... Don't let her know that you have this "negative" thoughts about her op... Make sure also that you two are going to have the best time ever within these days untill the operation. Let her see how much she means to you and to your family and this, i'm sure that it will going to give her the courage to have more strength and will make her have all her hopes fot the best....

Please, write me to tell me what happened with your sister... You see, i have a sister -1 and a half year younger than me-, and a brother -14 years older than me!- and i really couldn'y stand losing any of them so i understand how you feel....

Have courage-love-stength in your heart, and also hope that everything will be ok.....
With my strongest wishes
Smaragda

Answer 4

Honestly i don't think you should go about telling her you are worried about losing her that might make her scared and nervous before a big change in her life. Just sit down with her and let her know that you love her very much and that you need her in you life forever and that she is the best sister in the world. Stick by her and don't give her any bad feeling about her surgery and don't make her feel like your going to lose her. Keep your head held high and just remember you love her and she loves you. Ya'll have a strong bond and nothing will break that.

Answer 5

I agree with one other person that said to write a letter. You will feel more comfortable writing what you feel verse saying it. Just tell her what you feel and why you are feeling this way. She just might be one that will reassure you that everything will be ok. Do be afraid that you will scare her, telling her this will make it better for her to know that you are concerned and love her. Also let her know that you will be there for her. Ask her if she has any fears over the OP. Knowing that will help you.

Answer 6

Write her a letter. Pour your heart out in it. You can either let her read it while your there, or ask her to read it when she's alone. Sometimes it's easier to get over what you want to say by writing it. When you're trying to say it, tears and the other person can stop you saying what you really want to.

I had to do the same for all my family before I went into the op to donate my kidney. I'm glad they never got to read them though. They were to be written incase I didn't make it through.

I'm sure everything will be fine, and with her being your sister, I'm sure she already knows how you feel.

Answer 7

It is probably not wise to tell your sister that you are frightened about her operation. She is dealing with her own fear right now and she doesn't need you to amplify it.

You can communicate this to her very subtly by staying close with her as much as possible. She'll get the idea. And, stay positive. Tell you love her. Tell her everything will be OK. Tell you will be there for her when she comes out of the operation.

After the operation, you can tell her how scared you were for her.

Most of the time, I think we should tell our loved ones how we feel. Waiting for the right time is important too sometimes.

Good luck to you and your sister. I hope everything goes well for her.

Answer 8

My husband had his gallbladder removed about 4 months after our son passed away. Gallbladder surgery is fairly simple, but I still had this HUGE fear that he would leave me as well. I simply had to talk to him about it...I told him I knew it was an irrational fear, but it was the way I was feeling and I wanted him to know that I loved him. He was wonderful about it, comforting me and telling me that he loved me and was not about to leave. I felt a lot better about it, and managed to get through the surgery, even though it was at the same hospital that my son spent the first part of his life in.

Just talk to her. Tell her you love her. Realize that she will probably pull through just fine (I don't know what type of surgery she is having, so maybe you do have some valid concerns, but don't dwell on them). If there is a real possibility she could pass away from this surgery, (and even if there isn't) make sure there are no regrets.

Good luck to you (and your sister). You will both be in my thoughts.

Answer 9

Don't tell her because she's probably scared as well. i've recently had op that lasted 8 hours. i was also scared i was going to die. i put a question here asking for people who had the same op and i was really surprized by how many answered. it made me feel much better. why don't you try the same thing.

Answer 10

Don't tell her, because you might make her feel bad... Just be there for her, joke with her, and make things light as if they never changed. Because if these are your last times with her, you don't want both of you guys to have been scared and not enjoy your time together... Keep talking to your friends, your parents, anything that will make you feel better but I'm sure she's more nervous than you are, and it wouldn't be good for her to hear. Make sure she knows you love her, though, that's very important... I wish you all the BEST of luck and I'll pray for you...

Answer 11

Write her a letter maybe. That way, she'll know your feelings, and she'll have a reminder of how much you love her that she can read when she is in recovery. Don't dwell too much on the fact that you are scared for her life, though, or you'll just make her more stressed about her operation. Hope everything goes well!