Living together before marriage? yes, no, maybe?

Question

How do you feel about living in an apartment with someone you've been dating for only five months. My boyfriend and I are both 25yrs old and he just recently asked me to move in. I'm nervous about the situation. Will it ruin our relationship?! HELP!

Answer 1

Couples who live together are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce if they do marry. Don't move in with him until you are married. By the way, five months is not very long. You shouldn't even consider engagement, marriage or moving in for at least a year.

Answer 2

The difference between living together before marriage is uncertainty, do you not know this is the person you want to live with the rest of your life or not....and it actually can impose an excuse that otherwise would allow the relationship to grow and become stronger if you both had a "COMMITMENT" to each other...Marriage/Commitment is your promise that when things get bad you will try and make them better, that when you are sad, look toward your partner to make you happy...and so on...Living together especially moving into a place the other person already has is not a 50-50 partnership...and there is no guarantee if anything goes wrong he or she is going to make any kind of adjustment to provide a foundation for a long term arrangement to develop...every marriage requires attention to detail, and once those details are worked out...one can live happily ever after, but in a live with relationship, less seems to be tolerated and less effort goes into the details of the relationship and next thing you know the grass looks greener at just about everyone Else's lawn...so if this is thee guy...marry him...if your not sure...move in and find out for yourself...good luck.

Answer 3

That's where many of people go wrong. It's not a good thing to do. You should know how you feel about the person during that time, without even having to move in. You've only been dating five months. If this guy truly loves you, he'll be open to hear what you have to say. And if he's not, that should tell you something. Your gut could be saying, hey this is a bad idea. So, talk about this before you act.

Answer 4

Well first of all it is up to you and if you are having doubts about it then you shouldn't. I think you need to be together with someone a little longer then that if you think you want to move in with them. It is a big step. I personally think that living together before marriage isn't a great idea I have heard that statistically people who live together before marriage have a greater chance of having a devorce. You need to have a sit down conversation with him about it. I think that you shouldn't based on my opinion. Cuz the longer you know someone the more you think you know about them but once you move in with them a lot of your opinion changes because you see the real them, and you might not like what you are getting. I think you should at least wait for a year of dating before you decide anything like that cuz if you can make it that far then kudos to u.

Answer 5

Why get married then? The purpose of marriage is to make a commitment to another person that says no matter what I am sticking with you. That being said why not slow down and take all the time you need to get to know this person that you are about to make this huge decision with. Moving in with him before marriage is a backwards way to approach this.

Answer 6

Better now than later. Actually moving in with somebody you plan on having a life with is one of the best way to find out more about that person and you can also discover how it feels living with such person and if it's really gonna work if y'all finaly settle for good.

Answer 7

well its normal to be scared about doing something new for the first time.

but if you feel like your ready to be with him and care for him enough to take that big step, then why not try it out? i mean if something would go wrong, talk to your parents about it, and ask them if you can stay with them, if something would happen with you and your guy.

that way you have a backbone to fall on if you fine yourself without a home.

but maybe this could be a really good thing too, you'll get more closer with each other, you won't have to go out on dates as much cause he's right their, so it saves some money. i mean i can't wait for my guy to come over here so we can live together, i love the thought, i'll get to go to bed and wake up with him every single day.

i mean of course we'll fight and have our problems, cause its something different, not living with the opposite sex before. but if you mature enough and respect, honest with one another to work out the problems, then it will be worth be their with him.

but if he's not pressuring you right this second to move in with him, then tell him to give you sometime to think about it. to really plan out how it will work with living with him.

i hope it works out for you guys, just keep positive about it and love each other throught the good and the bads, then everything will be fine.

Answer 8

Well I see nothing wrong with it. Same as a roommate in some instances. You learn a lot about each other and how well you mesh together. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years and living together for almost 6.

Answer 9

I think living together before marriage can be a good thing. However, since you're nervous about it, it may just be too soon for you. That's ok. I held off for quite awhile, and was glad I did.

Answer 10

NO! You mess up the relationship, cause you put expectations on your partner that require no commitment from you currently. Then when things change after marriage, you will be angry cause you are not in a non-committed relationship any longer, but a committed one, that take give and take on both parts, but mostly on yours.