How can you know for SURE if someone loves you? Has anyone tried this?

Question

I solved it a long time ago after listening to so many conniving and superficial women say they "loved me." THE PROOF NEEDED TO BE IN THE PUDDING, I reasoned. So I told my admirers that if they really and truly DID love me, they would PROVE it by having the tattoo "Property of (my FULL name)" inked on their fannies!

Since I knew there were many others with the same first and last names, I decided to include my middle name to keep the little sneaks honest. And do you know the women lined up enthusiastically?! Of course that may have been because I was going to pay for the tat (the least I could do, I figured). It was the only FAIR way to give them a chance to prove their fidelity and genuine love for me. Sadly, many fell by the wayside over the years for myriad reasons, but they no doubt went on to become great wives for other dudes.

Still, I sometimes wonder how they explain those tats to those tats to their hubbies and boyfriends. How do you make sure their love is real?

Answer 1

First of all, love isn't measured by a tatoo you have someone put on their as*. It's everything else they're willing to do for you. Not sexually. It's whether or not, if in the middle of the night you need this person, they will be there. It's whether or not they need you to change. If they loved you you'd be perfect to them. It's whether you're the first person the the morning that they want to see. It's whether they are able to take your hand in a crowd of thousands and look at nobody else but you. It's someone that will defend you to the death against her parents. Your number one fan. And someone that would rather her die, than you. No one can define love, and if someone loves you. But i hope i have come close!

Answer 2

Where are your tats? You aren't too bright. Whatever girl actually did listen to you isn't any smarter either.

Answer 3

You're an idiot and you have no respect for women.