How will I ever be able to trust men agian?

Question

I have been lied to and cheated on and used by guys in the past it is hard for me to know when to trust one of em.

Answer 1

Don't trust one until trust is earned.

Answer 2

It's happened to us all, men and women (whether they'd like to admit it or not). It's a fact of life. It'll happen again. But the most important part is to learn from the previous times, and try not to make the same wrong judgments that got you there in the first place. The smarter you get, the stronger you get. I've found that alot of people (unknowingly sometimes) tend to trust people more easily than others. Only because they have insecurities.

Strengthen yourself first, before relying on others. Everyone is different, and you can't stop trusting people. But the more you are confident about yourself, and who you are, The better equipped you'll be to deal with it if it happens again. And eventually, you WILL find that right person.

Answer 3

I've been lied and cheated as well... in the past and in my present relationship i don't worry about cheating but he does lies a lot..and now we have to to many trust issues...not only for what he have done but also because i keep remembering what happened in my past relationships adn it feels like a cycle... that will never end it's frustading... but what i learned is that never give your trust to anybody... you have to make them earned trust they have to wrok hard for it... and the most importnat don't give your all t anybody and protect your feeling....and ask question and dig for the truth but don't let your man know that you are doing this... for example if you ever get a man again... go through his phone and check who's on his phone book... any suspicious crap call the number we girls have an instinct for lies we could smell it.... but don't tell him you called the number... take mater into your own hands.....do not take a men's word for it period... it's your heart on the like protect it no matter how nice this guy appears... you don't have to be rude or anything like that...but keep your guards up!! oh and if you do call people from his cell make sure you block your number *67 baby don't forget all man are the same... they just do things differently... good luck!!!

Answer 4

That door swings both ways. Once trust is betrayed it can never be rebuilt! Being jaded is a sad part of the relationship scene. I want to trust, but I can't. Trust must be earned, and when you find someone who genuinely cares about you, they'll respect that and understand that you don't trust them right away and will have doubts for a while, but they'll stick by you, and eventually your walls will come down and you'll feel comfortable opening up to that person and taking things to the next level.

Just each time you get hurt, it takes a little longer to trust the next person. It's a little unfair to them perhaps, but chances are they've been in your shoes and understand. Patience is virtue, and things will just have a way of falling into place.

Answer 5

I'm sure your feeling are well-founded. I hope that you heal soon and can move on.

I have the same issue -- except that I wonder how I will ever trust a woman again. Just like you, I have been lied to and cheated on and used.

I have come to the conclusion that it is partially my fault, that I have chosen badly in my relationships. There is a book called "Smart Women, Foolish Choices" that talks about this. Believe it or not, I've read it and it did help.

Answer 6

look the fact is that all men are different..same with women..because a few guys in a row maybe cheat and lie, doesnt mean the next will...if you flip a coin 9 times and it comes up heads each time does it mean that the 10th time there is a better chance of it coming up heads again..no there is still a 50/50 chance that it can be tails...got to keep fishing eventually a good man will come along..but sometimes it is that the relationship isnt actually defined, be sure that you are both being monogamas..I have had girls in the past think b/c they have seen me a bunch of times that we were b/f g/f, when in fact I had no intentions of that, I was just passing the time and dating.

Communicate and ask

Answer 7

It's all about finding the right guy. Of course after coming out of a bad relationship, trust is damaged. Your heart becomes closed off to other potential romantic interests and it becomes hard giving yourself away to another person. It takes time to heal so take your time. Guys will always be there, but for right now, you need time to heal and rebuild your sense of trust because if that's damaged, your shots at a lasting relationship are greatly diminished. So take some time for yourself before you commit yourself to someone else. Good luck!

Answer 8

Trust has to be earned so the next time you decide to start dating again, get to know the guy first and see what kind of person he really is. Keep your guard up and take your time. LET him gain your trust and more than likely, you will gain his.Not all guys lie and cheat, so take your time and get to know him. Trust also takes time so don't rush. It'll all work out in the long run.

Answer 9

You may have a pattern of be attracted to the same type of guy. You can;t lump all men into that lying, cheating, all men are jerks category. Every man is different and keeping your guard up is understandable but dont let that turn into a chip on your shoulder. There is a good article you should check out and its at ediets.com in the sex and relationship category. Its about how to break patterns in relationships.

Answer 10

The problem with that is that there really is no way to know when somebody (guy or girl) is being honest. Your best bet is to just take the whole dating thing slowly. Don't rush into any relationships or even friendships. Get to know people first and maybe just go out with your girlfriends for a while and get used to just being with them. Sometimes you'll find that the right guy will come along when guys are the last thing on your mind.

Answer 11

Take it step by step. Like you can step limits for yourself and let him know these limitations like no sex until at least a year of going out with him or even better, no sex until marriage. This is a sure way to reveal who the creeps are and what they are looking for. However don't be too paranoid. I've heard of guys breaking up with their girlfriends because they are constantly calling them to make sure they aren't cheating on them. If you find a good guy he's going to want your trust and that will be the foundation for your relationship.