what ever i do, one or the other is always complaining of me prefering the other more.
2006-07-06 05:51:46 · 15 answers · asked by dunowhat 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
this is completely normal,don't worrie,its not your falt. how old are they? if they are teenagers,it is coz they're feeling insecure about themselves and so they can get jelous really easily! in this case just tell them you love them!! if they are younger,then it is just coz they have worked out that they can make you feel guilty by saying this,possably in order to achieve something from you! in which case,don't give in to it, just say to them you're not going to change your mind just from them saying that!! me and my sister were terrible for doing that to our mum and dad it used to really upset her! :)
2006-07-06 06:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by geri 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You need to make sure you give both your kids the attention they need. But it's not always the parents fault. Of course, sometimes you get on better with the one than with the other.. and other times it's the other way around. But it can also be a way to force you to do or get something they want. It makes you feel guitly, and for them it is can be a way to "black mail" you.
My little sisters and I used to do that when we were kids. It was the ultimate way to get what you wanted, but as soon as my parents realized this.. they adopted the "earn-points-system" That way we could not claim the otherone was loved more.. with helping in the house we could score points with which we could earn the toys or treats we wanted. As for hugs and kisses... we got those plenty.. regardless if we'd been good or bad!
(I hope this makes some sense)
2006-07-06 06:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by QuakerGal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom kids do that all the time.My aunt is going through this problem right now.My older cousin is 33 and her younger sister is 21 the older swears that my aunt let the younger get away with murder,the younger one still stays with my aunt,she just had a baby.The older one has 4 kids and she said that my aunt raised the younger better than she raised her maybe if she put more time in her when she was younger she would'nt have four kids.But there is no difference my aunt tried my cousin was fast when we was comming up.So my aunt and my cousin are on the out skirt right now,my cousin is not talking to my aunt and told her to stay away from her kids and all this mess.My aunt said she was hurt at first but she's over it now,she said my cousin is going to haf to grow up.My aunt also said said she be damned if she do and she be damned if she don't!
2006-07-06 05:59:08 · answer #3 · answered by dccuttie75 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids always use this tactic to get their own way if you sit down and look upon your own actions and make up your mind if you think they are just.
Each situation needs treating differently each child reacts differently to punishments one might need telling off and that is enough another may need to be kept in or lose priveleges to get throughto them, either way each child will use this against you particularly if they know you may falter in your decision, only you can decide if you are treating one better than the other.
2006-07-06 06:03:51 · answer #4 · answered by Ragamuffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Some parents do it w/out realizing it. My parents have done it all my life. My mother favors my sister and is rude as sin to me. And i am the daddy's girl....which has left my sister w/ some serious "daddy issues." I sadly enough find me be a little nicer to my son. I think it is due the the age gap of my kids. Right now my son is a lot easier then my daughter.
2006-07-06 05:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think when they first say it they dont really understand what they have said they have heard it somewhere, the problem is our reaction we all of a sudden stop everything and try to explain i.e i was cross with you because... not with your sister/brother because...... children from a young age are able to sense what hits a nerve not because they are right and brought it to your attention but because in every good parent we do not perfer one child to another we love them both the same and the thought of one of your children thinking you loved them less sends a chill down your spine so we jump in and explain/ defend what we have done or said i dont think they mean it at all but boy does it get a reaction from us and if they sometimes get what they want from you then i guess they think its worth it. julie
2006-07-06 12:02:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called sibling rivalry and I think it goes back to the Bible with Cain and Able...
I think all you can do is assure (and re-assure) them that you love both of them equally, and tell them you hope that they love each other as much as you love them. Never forget, you're more genetically related to your siblings than any one else, so sometimes I think when they fight over love it's because they are so much alike.
2006-07-06 05:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by answerlady1021 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wel maybe they noticethat sometimes you are nicer to one and not both. but dont worried all kids do that. my kids do. sometimes they say they love me sometimes get mad and say they love dad more. or you likethem more than me. one day and the other is different. kids are kids they do it all the time
2006-07-06 05:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by you_me_set 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how better to make you feel bad for the other one? my kids do it too. but when i ask them seperately they know that i love them both, they even say that they ore only hoping that i will go get them something too. good luck
2006-07-06 05:56:02 · answer #9 · answered by jennilynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called sibling rivarly and it's been around since Cain and Abel.
2006-07-06 05:55:45 · answer #10 · answered by A G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there is something there that you don't want to see and its there way of telling you. Or they have got you in a spot in manipulating you into getting what they want.
2006-07-06 05:55:37 · answer #11 · answered by Silly2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋