Is raising kids getting harder and harder as time progresses?

Question

I know a lot of laws have been made to protect children from child abuse, but it really has made it hard for parents to raise their children. Sometimes words or threats of punishment aren't enough to make a child understand. With a lot of laws out today parents are afraid to discipline their kids with a good ol fashion spanking. In some cases when a parent spanks the kid or smacks em, not hard enough to leave a bruise or mark of course, child services has come in and done investigations. This is why a lot of parents try and try but can't get through to kids because they feel like they can't smack or spank them without having child services on them. What do you think?

Answer 1

Remember the Cosby Show? Bill Cosby once said to his son Theo who was being quite the brat....."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out".
What a great line.
A lot of parents are scared of their kids today because the children actually threaten to turn them in for child abuse. I think this is something kids talk about at school, to devise ways of getting what they want.
Most people at Social Services know this and if they do investigate they will pick up on it right away.
I don't think there is a law against spanking your own kids. If it is a ward of the state, that is another thing, you can't spank foster kids, and for good reason, many have been severely physically abused and it just further traumatizes them.
Bottom line is, don't let your kids blackmail you into getting their way. Call em on it and tell them YOU will call social services to get the professional opinion.

Answer 2

This is where the parents should have the wherewithal of parenting. A child reacts out of negativity in order to get a parents attention. That's all it comes from. If the parent is not quite giving that child enough attention, the child will sound off. A child who is happy and orderly receives hugs and kisses and attention from the parent, therefore, no need to strike out negativitively. Observe for yourself the difference in children and how the parents talk to their children and ignore the children and let TV or an electronic game raise their children and you will find that a child has discipline issues. And though it can easily be corrected because all children crave love and affection, parents can't see what they are doing to their children. A child is always looking up to their parents, so quite naturally, the child when doing something wants parental interaction. It's not the child's fault when parents ignore their children. The child is only doing what comes naturally when he's asking for something. And the more he keeps asking for the same thing, the more intolerable he can become in doing so. If the parent sought after the child in the first place, there would be no need for the child to act out because the child was satisfied, so the child remains orderly, But a child not receiving attention gives of negative actions and is perceived as 'bad'. When give him the positive loving action he was asking for so determinedly and he will go away orderly as well. But if he knows that through negative actions is going to get the parents attention even if their attention is negative, at least he got some attention.

Answer 3

I'm sure each generation of parents has felt theirs was the hardest. However, I am 100% in total agreement, what is a parent to do these days?! I tell people often that I was born in the wrong generation - should've been 50's or earlier. Kids listened then, plain and simple. I am of the "old school", I do not believe that spanking a child sends the message of violence. There is a world of difference between being spanked (of course, if deserved) and being beaten. I am going through such a tough time with my 15-yr.-old son. I've jumped through everybody's hoops trying to do what they tell me since he's heading down the wrong path - but to no avail. The system was put in place to try to help, but somewhere along the way totally lost it's focus.

Answer 4

I agree that laws have made it very difficult to parent our kids, in turn many parents feel threatened and powerless- its a vicous cycle and what ends up happening at times is that kids are neglected through lack of dicipline.

That said, I do not believe children need or ought to be diciplined by the hand. I think that children who are loved, respected, and truly cared for develop enough interests and hobbies that using moethods such as earning, getting grounded, and being very consistant work perfectly well with a typical child. The key here is setting reasonable goals and eexpectations for kids that that are capable of handling and that they understand.

Be very firm with kids- yet show them a good time with playfulness, joy, and plenty of laid back time.

I think a kid who is clearly told to make the bed before TV will make the bed if you dont give them tv until its done- for example.
I also think that if a kid lies or steals and they lose priveledges as a result or has to repay the stolen item with one of their personal favorites they will learn very valuable lessons- BUT you MUST be clear and consistant.

Hitting and spanking kids really does symbolize the parent's sense of loss of control- not to say physically interferring is never an option- I would certainly grab a hold of my kid and yank should he or she attempt to go into the road. I would physically restrain my child should he or she attack someone or an animal, or be causing him/herself physical harm (contact your local Kid's protective services for training to prevent injury to your kid if you know you need to restrain your kid regularly.

We have evolved beyond the days where we had few options, we are smart enough now to think about choices rather than react- we just have to empower one another and be tough on kids in a different way- being tough is good when its needed.

Remember - children dont keep, use your hands and your arms to love them and your brain to teach them.

Answer 5

I totally agree.

Most kids today are disrespectful and down right bratty. When I was a kid, I was taught respect for my elders. And yes my parents engaged in good ole spankings to put me order and I am THANKFUL for that.

Social services has no business telling you, you cannot disciple your children. Of course I am not condoning abuse, that is very different from disciple. Abuse breaks the spirit and tears down a person. Disciple is constructive and it teaches children boundaries, it is healthy for the growth of a child.

Answer 6

I think there's more to worry about than ever before. I imagine there were always child molesters out there but the media has now brought them into our homes on a daily basis, that in turn makes some of us over protective. I know I don't let mine have the freedom I was allowed, and I resent that in a lot of ways because they should be able to go out and roam without fear of strangers and abductions.
And I know my grandparents didn't have to learn about drugs the way I have had to. The worst that happened was some kid smoked during break. Hardly any girls became pregnant. I know of one that did and she was a rarity, nowadays it's common place to hear about another 13 year old being pregnant.
I talk to my kids, I've never had to hit them, and I've never wanted to. I find the idea of physically assaulting them abhorrent. What i did when they were younger was to withdraw my presence from them for a period of time, that allowed me to have a cup of tea, and process the irritation, and gave them time to reflect on why I was unwilling to be around them. it always worked, it had an impact and more to the point it was a lesson they remembered.

Answer 7

I think its more difficult money wise. I think its harder because my generation was one of broken homes so its hard to know how to co-parent when you never learned how. I think parents are more tired and stressed than in years past. But I think it all starts at birth. You raise that kid right and they'll do well. You ignore the kid and fuss that its too hard and they'll be undisciplined and wild. Parents are the biggest influence to their kid, for the positive or negative. I just wish people chose to have babies instead of being surprised by it. A deliberate choice to have kids usually means a better prepared parent and a better raised child. Not always, but I still wish I could sterilize a few people I know...

Answer 8

I have never spanked my kids. Time outs worked fine.
As far as the older they get, I think it's easier. My kids are 12 & 15 and we talk things out. Sure, we have your regaulr teenage issues, but I would rather deal with these than a 2-year old temper tantrum in the grocery store!

Answer 9

yes, it is mentally harder, when they are younger, they are busybodies that require much physical activity,but as they age their issues become more complex and you must help them become more effective decision makers,open minded critical thinkers and readers so that they can protect themselves and make informed decisions,it is difficult for them to let go of unrealistic expectations and we must model the behavior that we expect,or we end up with confused children, also it is difficult for those who are always told exactly what to do, and then they go to college and do not plan well or procrastinate,and learn things the hard way,because they have never had the oppotunity to make decisions for themselves or practice effective decision making or planning, and this is a great source of frustration as their parents accuse them of not caring ,when they are just floundering, it is so easy to tell someone to do something and expect that they will get it, but that is not how we train new employees and is not the way to train children, life strategies and anger management should be mandatory for all chiuldren ,we pile on the expectations and fail to teach them how to cope and deal with frustration appropriately,the more emotionally independent and healthy our kids are the less likely they will cling to some group of or an individual loser and follow the wrong path and they will be more likely to lead themselves to success

Answer 10

that sounds like lazy parents talking. it's not that hard, not at all. you don't have to hit anyone to make them listen. take things away from them, for example, instead of hitting them or taking their tv's and video games, just take the controllers and rca wires, the cable, anything that will connect stuff. you won't have to do very much, meaning it will take you five minutes and one little box to gather up all their entertainment, instead of trying to carry their tv and all their electronics, you will have one little box. if they don't listen, take their door off the hinges, and they now have no privacy.
most parents will just let their kids run, instead of punishing them. remember, it's harder on you to punish your kids than it is on them. when i ground my kids, they don't go ANYWHERE. they do nothing. i have to watch them all day long, but it's a small price to pay to get a punishment though their heads. it's not the laws or the kids, or even the times. the problem is parents are getting lazy and don't WANT to punish their kids.

remember, there are plenty of things you can do to them without actually touching them...the psychological punishments ALWAYS stick much better than the physical punishments.